If your girlfriend is distant with you, should you give her space or occasionally check in?

[Anonymous]

If she’s distant after coming back from an intense 2 week work trip

Give her space until she comes to you

Check in once every 2-3 days

Check in once a week

A total of 26 votes were cast: 10 girls and 16 guys. See detailed results

[Finchie40]

You are best to start making your plans to walk the other way , she is distant from you because she knows she was up to no good and got a taste of being single for 2 weeks , so if I was you, I would keep her there and move on and see if she comes crawling back to you , and if she does, don’t not give into her bullshit , make it clear to her that you want to know what she did on that work trip and if she can’t give you honest answers, dump her ass right then and there , when a partner goes away and comes back not excited to see you , don’t be excited to see them , start preparing g yourself to move on and find yourself someone that is excited to see you. Never stay with a girl that wants distance from you period, she is a whore

[Asker]

Do you think she cheated?

[Asker]

Maybe she realised she didn’t miss me?

[Finchie40]

It’s definitely one of the 2 , it’s definitely a red flag that you shouldn’t overlook , someone that truly loves you is going to hate being apart from you and can’t wait to see you , if they go away and come back like you aren’t that important not them , then they don’t love you like you thought they did. When I am in love with a girl , I can’t wait to see her or hear from her if I was away , I hated traveling for work because I would miss her the whole time but we would talk on the phone as much as possible , when I got home , she would jump on my arms and want me to give her the Vitamin D , so by your girl not doing that to you is a red flag , she probably got the D when she was away from a coworker or someone else

[Asker]

Well unless it actually was an intense 2 weeks of filming which can probably reset your perspective.

[Finchie40]

No matter how intense her work is, you should still be her happy place

[MrChinaski]

It's not a red flag. 80% likely she is just tired. 18% likely she took the time to think about your relationship and is still thinking. 2% she 'got the D' ... and what a poetic turn of phrase that is.

[Asker]

@bddddd her 2 responses were “ I'm definitely still not 100%
Feeling quite weak and nauseous but now I'm back at work I should start to feel normal again soon” and “ Oooh I'm intrigued
We'll setup a time to get together, I'm going to be doing 7 days in a row at work soon because I've got overtime 😭 it'll be worth it for the money but holy helll”

[Finchie40]

Yea she’s doing overtime alright, overtime in another guys’ bed lol

[JesseP1nk]

Oh shit I know what that means... Soon she will come and accuse you of something like cheating, not being available for her, being too needy etc (focusing blaming you, so she would not feel bad cheating on you) , then she dumps you and then she will jump to the relationship to that guy she met during business trip.

[Asker]

You think?

[Rei13]

How often do you two normally communicate? I think it’s okay to give her a few days to decompress, everyone handles things differently. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. I get like that sometimes too where I just need time alone to recharge. I would check in with her in 2-3 days to see how she is feeling and then maybe after a week or so of her getting back (depends on where you guys are at, you know her best) plan for a date to spend time together. If there is some activity she enjoys in particular maybe do that with her if she is up to it

[bunnyboo24]

Call it out. Ask her why she is distancing herself.

[Asker]

Do you think that’s wise? If she needs space, it might just put pressure on her.

[bunnyboo24]

You can ask. doesn't mean you have to stay but she should communicate

[Asker]

She said she’s exhausted and needs to catch up on stuff. And also said she’d need to hibernate when she’s back. Is that sufficient communication?

[bunnyboo24]

Yes ofcouse didn't read all lol my bad. Then just check in on her 2-3 times/week But make sure you dont distance too much its not good

[Asker]

In what way? I want to give her space so I don’t overwhelm her but also at the same time don’t want to drift apart. And I don’t know where the balance is.

[bunnyboo24]

I would text her/call 2/week if I where you and then ask her when she can go out next time. So you know she will be able to talk cause relationships are 2 sided

[Asker]

Seems needy?

[bunnyboo24]

No I mean its a relationship right? If you feel needy for caring maybe the relationship isn't worth it

[Asker]

Yes it is but she’s gone distant since coming back.

[bunnyboo24]

when did she come back how long time ago?

[Asker]

2 or 3 days ago

[bunnyboo24]

Ok I see. Well maybe wait 2 more days then write her "when are you free for a date?"

[Asker]

I was going to write back to her “ Hey, how are you feeling today? Hope your recovery is going well :)”

[Asker]

Probably tomorrow night

[bunnyboo24]

yes thats good

[Asker]

Or I might write this actually. Or is this too much?

Hey, how are you feeling? Do you have any time in the next couple of weeks? When you’ve had a chance to decompress, it would be good to chill and hang out. There’s so many things I want to share with you and I’d love to hear more about your filming experience too

I remember her saying when we first got into a relationship that her expectations were that I look after her including through bad times and that she’s very independent so I let her live her own life too.

[bunnyboo24]

I would go with the first version you sent you can add more later if needed

[Asker]

True on second thoughts. I might leave it for about a week as well.

[Asker]

I think I’m overthinking this and I should trust her and give her the space she needs to recover. She’s always told me repeatedly how she likes me and sees a future with me

[bunnyboo24]

Ok good

[AI Opinion]

My mission here is to sprinkle some love and understanding into your life! Sounds like your girl might be overwhelmed from her work trip. Sometimes, distance can be a love language in disguise! 💌 Give her a bit of space, like a gentle breeze, but don't completely ghost her. A thoughtful message now and then can show you care without crowding her space. Balance is key! 🌟 Just be her chill, supportive rock, and your relationship will thrive!

[Staximus]

Most girlfriends would be happy to see their guy after being away for two weeks. Leave her alone for a few days. Then pick up the phone and call her like an adult and nevermind the stupid texts. Ask her to go get lunch or dinner or to hang out. If she declines, then ask her why she is distancing herself from you.

[Nikki1989]

Check in, but I wouldn't be pushy about it.

[Asker]

Do you think this is a good message to send?

Hey, how are you feeling? Do you have any time in the next couple of weeks? When you’ve had a chance to decompress, it would be good to chill and hang out. There’s so many things I want to share with you and I’d love to hear more about your filming experience too :)

I remember her saying when we first got into a relationship that her expectations were that I look after her including through bad times and that she’s very independent so I let her live her own life too.

[Flower7]

You could let her know that you’re no longer interested.

[driven159]

might be time to move on

[Asker]

So I just cheat on her?

[qwerty2469]

You should start dating someone else

[Asker]

Cheat on her?

[cavedweller1973]

Find out why she is so distant

[Asker]

How?

[cavedweller1973]

Communication

[Asker]

How do I do that? If I can’t engage her much by text

[Anonymous]

I'd say A or B.

[Anonymous]

She is fucking other guy duh

[bunniesrcute]

give her space

[Asker]

So dont get in contact with her until she comes to me?

[bunniesrcute]

exactly, she’ll come to u when she's ready