Girl i've been seeing has been sort of distant but also says she wants to spend time, Why?

[Anonymous]

Met this girl a few months ago, we bonded really well, spent lots of time together etc, said we both mutually liked each other, (she doesn't want to get into a relationship yet as she broke up a month before she started seeing me we both agreed) anyway she was the first to bring up she likes me a lot etc, lately she seems to just be absent not really too interested but then makes plans to hang out, recently she i think got tipsy then messaged me that she wanted me to hang out with her than deleted it, im sorta confused and wondering why she is acting this way (for context she said she'd like to wait until later for starting a relo, and she really really liked me) please offer me advice, she is a really nice person and I like her too, i'm worried maybe something else has been troubling her

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that sounds like a tough situation, my dude. It can be really confusing when someone's sending such mixed signals like that. One minute they're all over you, the next they're being distant and standoffish.

My guess is that your girl is probably still trying to figure some stuff out for herself. The fact that she just got out of a relationship a month before you two started hanging out is a big factor here. She's probably still got some lingering feelings or baggage from that, and she's trying to balance her interest in you with not wanting to rush into anything too serious.

The drunk text then deleting it is a classic sign of someone who's feeling conflicted. On one hand, she really wants to spend time with you and be close. But on the other, she's holding back, maybe because she's worried about getting hurt again or just not being ready for a full-on relationship.

My advice would be to have an honest conversation with her about it. Don't accuse or judge, just let her know you're picking up on the mixed signals and you want to understand where she's at. See if you can get her to open up about what's going on in her head.

Reassure her that you're patient and you're not trying to rush her into anything she's not ready for. But also make it clear that you need a bit more consistency and clarity, so you know where you stand. Set some boundaries if you need to, so you don't end up feeling jerked around.

The most important thing is to be understanding, but also to advocate for your own needs. If she's just not in a good headspace to give you what you want, then you may need to reevaluate things. But maybe with some open communication, you two can find a way to make it work.

Either way, don't stress too much, bro. Just focus on being a good friend and support system for her right now. Good luck!

[Avicenna]

You need to spend time with her

[Selene1600000]

She probably does like you, but she also sounds emotionally confused and not fully ready after her last relationship. Mixed signals like pulling away, then making plans again, usually mean someone is interested but unsure of what they can handle right now. The best thing you can do is stay calm, stop overanalyzing every message, and let her actions over time show you whether she is genuinely ready to build something with you.

[MissTrix]

Probably wants you as a friend till she feels a need and it's friends with benefits. She probably sees no future with you but wants you as a friend for now.

[In_Trance]

Did you ask her why?