Why doesn't my girlfriend wanna spend time?

[Anonymous]

So we have been dating for long enough. But I have seen my girlfriend doesn't wanna spend time with me or make any efforts to spend time with me. Lets say yesterday we didn't got to spend much time since of her chores then the next day if I wanted to spend more time as an recovery then she has her excuses of "Going there and wherever" or "Spending time with hobbies" and this just continues and I can't even get the required amount of time and its frustrating me now and She always says "You dont have patience or you dont know how to adjust". Is there any way to get her spend time with me like without talking to her about this because I want her to realize my value to her life herself. She clearly doesn't value me. And talking to her means nothing she will still continue this everyday.

[inhua]

if your girlfriend truly loves and cares for you, she'd find time to spend with you and reshuffle her entire schedule to accommodate for you

the fact this hasn't happened shows there's some suspicious shit going on

you might not have the evidence as of now but it's enough to warrant an investigation or at the very least withdraw yourself from her

[Asker]

Can you help me like what to do and how to find suspicious stuff out?

[inhua]

getting evidence won't be easy because she'll likely cover up her tracks

any inclination of suspicious activity and you can dump her. no justification needed whether she refuses to hold hands/kiss or is too embarrassed to be seen with you in public.

does she have her eyes for another dude? if she does, she'll find a way to talk about him somehow whether it's positive or negative. the negative is meant to throw you off the scent

as long as she's talking about him, that's enough evidence there because that means another dude is living rent free in her head

for your case, if she passes some of these tests, that doesn't meant she's free of guilt yet because she can still be hiding things from you hence you have to continue further investigation but if she doesn't pass, then she's definitely guilty

people who are guilty tend to act a certain way and be very defensive. cops are the only people with the legal right to pursue a suspicious suspect

even if it turns out she's not cheating, her suspicious behavior is still suspicious and she clearly doesn't prioritize you like you prioritize her

[Asker]

Well Thank you for replying to my opinion. But she had an person named "Sam" from her country and that guy used to courtship her. She said "She doesn't have feelings for him" to him and me. And due to this that that random guy just courtshipping her I told her to block him because Its very obvious that its making me jealous. So she did block him. Now she also sent me an screenshot of her blocked his chat. So I dont know if she have unblock and chat him again and Its pretty suspicious right there.
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Speaking of that, Well she does spend time but rarely. Sometimes she just make excuses of having or doing smthing that makes her not spend time with me. Sometimes she just suddenly get offline and no text or replies just offline and after that day she would come back texting me that "She got grounded". Its pretty suspicious right there too.
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Worst thing is that, She talked worse behind my back calling me "Immature" in front of her friends. And her friend told me about that. I talked to her about that she said "I just wanted to protect you by saying bad stuff behind your back because I dont want my loved ones to get insulted behind my back and I can't see my loved one get insulted behind my back.."
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Any opinions on these? It would really help me a lot because I want to get an better choice because Im just alone and there is no one and I dont want to opt for an bad choice.

[Anonymous]

No matter she is cheating or not but maybe she doesn't love you. She might be in relationship because of some other reason/pressure/requirements. But ofcourse it is not love. Or she believes in some other fake definition of love.

[Asker]

I mean I do agree with your statement and opinion. But she sometimes make time. And Somedays she just have too much work. Sometimes she just leaves me there without context and then comes and then just says sorry and then says an reason which feels an bit odd.

[Opinion Owner]

What is so called "too much work"? There is nothing such. If a person really love something or someone they really make time for it. No matter 15 minutes. If they don't they feel like something is missing.

I had been in a relationship where he was always given me same excuses that he is too busy in work. Whenever I did complaint. And always made me guilty of not understanding and being childish. I again and again tried to make myself so called "understanding". But then such point also came where his excuse i didn't feel reasonable.

Now I'm in relationship where no matter he is soooo busy he always makes time for me whenever I need him. But i also do understand when he is busy and I myself not take his much time more than what's needed.

The earlier person always told he loves me but that was his attitude towards me. Now I can clearly see he didn't love me but he was just liking my company and I was just a object of using was for him whenever HE needed me. It was definitely NOT love.

[Asker]

Thank you very much for your opinion I will definitely look into it.

[overthinkergirl]

maybe give her some space and time but yeah if she loves you she will make some effort

[Engin12]

she's cheating on you

[Asker]

But I have no Concrete Evidence.