Do you ever feel the only thing that makes someone special to you is your emotional attachment to them and how they treat you?

[Pearl222]

I mean we can like someone for multiple attributes that we admire in a person ( both superficial and deep); but what makes them special is how they make you feel about you and treat you which in turns fosters emotional attraction and attachment. But once that’s gone, you don’t really see them as special anymore…. you just feel detached. What makes you want to keep someone in your life and what makes them special?

[MrChinaski]

Three things.

First, there is the constantly bubbling pot. Shared fun, holidays, jokes, sex, stories about your childhood, your hopes, your dreams, how the world is working and how it isn't, why your favourite sports team is clearly the greatest even though they haven't won a pennant in 78 years... shared life. Do you really want to invest all of that again with someone else? Maybe, but 25 years of life together makes a lot of things easy fun.

Second, there are the crisis moments if you like. What car will you buy? House? Kids? Schools? Extramarital relations? Whose going to look after your parents in their dotage? etc etc. The hard work of relationships. And at points like this the whole thing can collapse and dissipate. Or you can learn to work with each other, compromise, respect their views, see their true strength and stand in awe of their wonderfulness.

Third, there is sheer habit. The desire to keep going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head... to roughly paraphrase David Foster Wallace.

A healthy relationship has near constant 1 experiences, success with 2 and 3 to fall back on. Casual observation is that 3 is often dominant and 2 avoided entirely.

[ohsheeT]

There is a connection that happens and you become one and every thing just flows aĺ you see and feel is positive love and you find new special thing about each other

You start to feel things even deeper and you start living life like that and that's a beautiful thing but then you get cought up in it and in time time freezes. And that's what you dont want because you get comfortable and when you do that you quit growing

So you reinvent your self and find the new special. Things about each other.

It's what you make it

[Nikki1989]

The people who are “special” are not special because they are universally perfect or unique; they are special because they are the people who have earned the right to hold your deep emotional attachment by consistently behaving in a way that respects and validates your investment in them.

[Pearl222]

Exactly

[sage2021]

For me it's emotional attachment and the way he treats me with respect, kindness and love.
If you aren't emotionally attached to someone for those reasons, then the only other attachment is monetary. And I have never been in love with a guy for THAT reason.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[AI Opinion]

My aim here is to help navigate the rocky waves of love and attachment. 🌊✨ Emotional attachment is the secret spicy sauce of relationships, isn't it? It's true, the way someone makes you feel cherished can sprinkle that magic dust we call 'special.' When reciprocity and connection fade, it's natural to feel that emotional spark dimming. Remember, the dance of a relationship isn't a solo cha-cha; it's all about how you both twirl together! Keep those who light up your soul close, and always trust your heart's rhythm! 💖💃

[Zack-Bann]

I have always said the exact same thing


Our love for people is not about who they are or what they do
It’s about who they turn us into
And what they make us do


That’s why a healthy relationship requires a healthy personal mind


Because if you want what’s good for yourself you will look for it in others


And if you’re full of self hatred and insecurity you will look for someone that hurt you and manipulate you and just be all around toxic with you


But then you have the other side of this coin as well:
The person who loves you will love you because of how you make them feel (same as you)


And that is a lot harder to control than it sounds


That’s why true reciprocal love is rare and special

[aaron13547]

Yes I never thought about it like this but you are very right. We are all different. Maybe being similar isn't what keeps us attached to each other, its the effort we put into being "special" for our special person.

[Pearl222]

Exactly, I agree

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Yes, emotional attachment and how someone treats you are what make them feel special.

Looks and traits can pull you in, but it’s the way they make you feel safe, seen, and understood that creates real depth.

When that disappears, the connection fades with it.

What makes me keep someone in my life is consistency, kindness, and the feeling that I’m better with them than without them.

That’s what turns a person into someone irreplaceable.

[Tarifa]

Emotional attachment is something that grows over time, it doesn't happen overnight. I think it can happen with several people during your life, but there won't be that many. It's usually the result of having spent time together, where you feel a connection that goes beyond the usual interaction.

With those people, I never feel detached. Detachment is only a possibility if physical distance, like living in different countries, gradually undermines the foundation.

[DJB72]

I know two women with similar characteristics to my wife and I'm absolutely certain if we dated we'd kill each other.

What made my marriage work was something beyond description. A connection from the second we met to the moment she died. It defied logic.

I don't know if I'll find it again - I hope I do. I know if I do that it will be completely different to what I had with my wife, but it'll be the same as well.

When it's Real it doesn't matter if you work on paper or not.

[Sunshinelips]

I often think this but it doesn’t explain how well we get on with that person and the more we get to know them the more we have in common with them. Interests and personality wise.

[Pearl222]

The getting along well is what builds the bond and eventual emotional attachment

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think so.

[ABC1x1x]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Nope.