Why does doing something that’s actually good/right for you still feel bad?

[Pearl222]

Like maybe moving across the country for a better job opportunity while leaving your loved ones behind, letting go of someone you still care for but who can’t meet your needs or expectations for the kind of relationship you want or having to take some personal decision that’s good for you in the long run, but feels hard in the moment?

[sage2021]

What comes to my mind is that saying "Life is a journey, not a destination".

And how do we really know for sure that something new and different is going to be good for us? We don't know for sure. And we all know that we only have one life, and that life is not a dress rehearsal. We don't get to do it over, so we have to make the best decisions we can for our lives, and pray🙏🏼 that it turns out okay.

I think 🤔 that it's only normal to have some trepidation when making big changes in our life. We can only make the best decisions for ourselves as we go along in our journey.

Yes, it's taking a chance to make the best decisions for ourselves at the time, and have a change of heart after we've made the changes. You'll never know for sure about anything until you actually try it.

Some people have fear of failure. Others have fear of success. We are all different.

But then we also have our gut feeling that we should really listen to. If you have a bad gut feeling about doing something that is supposed to be good for you, then maybe it's really not a good idea.

All you can do is your best, and if your best isn't good enough, at least you tried. It was your best decision AT THE TIME, so try to remember that.

You know that I will always wish you the best with all of your endeavors. 🩷

[Pearl222]

Thank you, that’s very sweet. I appreciate you taking the time to write this answer.

[sage2021]

@Pearl222
You're welcome Pearl 🧡

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Because doing the right thing often forces you to face the part of yourself that’s been too comfortable for too long.

Growth doesn’t hurt because it’s wrong, it hurts because it breaks your old patterns.

Letting go of someone.

Setting a boundary.

Choosing yourself.

Walking away from what drains you.

All of that feels heavy at first, even when it’s the healthiest move you can make.

Your mind knows it’s right, but your emotions are still catching up.

And that gap between what you need and what you’re used to is what makes it feel bad.

But once the dust settles, you always realize you were steering yourself toward something better.

[Pearl222]

As a recovering people pleaser, this hits hard…because putting my own needs before everyone else’s and doing what’s right for me is something new for me.
So it’s definitely both breaking old patterns as well as growing out of comfort zones that don’t serve me anymore.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

It takes a lot of self honesty to admit that.

People pleasing feels safe because it keeps everyone else comfortable, but it quietly drains you over time.

Learning to put your needs first isn’t selfish it’s self respect.

And the discomfort you’re feeling now is just your mind unlearning an old survival pattern.

You’re not ‘becoming someone new,’ you’re finally becoming someone aligned with yourself.

[aaron13547]

Sometimes we have to lose to win. To hold more of anything you have to have room for it first. I think sometimes its clearing out the old for new. Sometimes its as simple as accepting we can't force everything into existence, and sometimes it is as complicated as just accepting certain things are not meant for us to hold. But Its also the way the universe trains us to hold all the things we are meant to... The purpose is you. that means sometimes we have to feel bad things or we wouldn't also know how to feel good. 🙃

[Pearl222]

Very true, we need to make space for better things to flow into our life and not hold on to something where we need to water ourselves down.

[ohsheeT]

It is hard in the moment because it's all brand new and your stepping into on your own your taking on the world by yourself so yes your going to have all of those feeling coming up trying to hold you back. That's when to take another step. And then another. Because down deep you need to do it for so many reasons so take a deep breath it's meant to be for a moment in time even when you get there you will still have all those thought trying to pull you back I feel your very strong and you will do fine.

[Pearl222]

You’re absolutely right, it’s uncertain and unfamiliar that’s why it feels hard initially.

[ohsheeT]

It will make you sick. Where your at you feel safe loved you know people where your at you go by gas or go to the grocery store. You see the same people in there

Once you start driving to the place you're going, you're on your own and that's scary. If something happens you by yourself, you get a place to live, you go to work, something happens, you're it takes a big person to do what you're doing. And especially being a girl, it's a little bit more scarier, I would think
You can protect yourself too very easily

What it is. It's just a brand new experience , and it's hard to do that sometimes but I like guarantee you do it

It will make you so stronger. You will have it together so much more if you don't already

[AI Opinion]

I’m here to spread some love and understanding, so let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster! Feeling bad about making good decisions? Emotional whiplash, my friend. Your heart and brain are doing the cha-cha, and it’s perfectly normal! 🕺💃 Transitions come with heartaches, especially when lovebombing memories try to hold you back. But trust that, just like leaving a bad date, you’re leveling up. Keep shining and let those red flags fall behind. You’ve got this, superstar! 🌟

[OlderAndWiser]

Very few decisions in life do not have both pros and cons. Life is always a matter of balancing the pluses and the minuses.

[DishLady]

Some folks are always guilt-ridden no matter what they do. It's often a cultural thing.

[Zack-Bann]

Because we love our comfort zones as humans


Whenever we make a big move we have to be uncomfortable for a while


That’s why it feels bad in the short term but eventually settles into being a good decision


I felt regret about moving away from home to study and work in another country but in retrospect, had I stayed, I would have been much worse off than I am right now


No choice is perfect is and ideal but we have to make choices nonetheless

[Pearl222]

Very true, stepping out of comfort zone is scary but necessary for growth

[MrOracle]

It's because everything is a trade-off. Sometimes what you are trading for is dramatically better than what you have now, so there is little fear or regret or loss, but other times the difference isn't huge, and even if it's better overall, you are still giving up things that you value.

Too many expect perfect solutions - some special combination that gets you everything while sacrificing nothing, but that's a fairy tale - real life doesn't work that way. There are no solutions to important problems, just compromises that are better or worse. That's what life is, for everyone.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for moving it’s a part of life & in life if anyone wants to better themselves there is nothing wrong with that & sometimes you have to move in order to do so. In life the only way is to move is forward & in life if you never try you will never know.

As for your loved ones they can always visit or they can always call & you can do the same.

As for your success story it’s waiting to be written so go write a wonderful one.

[exitseven]

Change can be hard. Most like the familiar things in life. Moving to a new job is a big change but for the right reasons it can be beneficial.
I changed careers later in life and it was a very confusing and difficult thing to do. I see it now as one of the best things that I ever did.

[Anonymous]

Because we weren't born into existence to rake piles of money. We were not created to build monuments/empires to our own magnificence. God formed us and breathed life into us to exhalt him and to lift eachother up. And they greatest way we can do that is by loving God and loving eachother (Matthew 22: 37-40) Jesus called this the greatest commandment. Anything that takes us away from those we love will ALWAYS FEEL wrong. But it isn't necessarily. God has a plan for us all. And everywhere you go you have the opportunity to spread God's love. If it is truly in your plan God will keep giving you opportunities and trying to steer you back.

[slatyb]

"moving across the country for a better job opportunity while leaving your loved ones behind" -- of course that feels bad, and it may not be the right decision. There are always choices, and sometimes they are not easy -- there is great potential gain, but also a known and significant loss.

When I first read the question I thought you were going to ask about the sacrifice of immediate pleasure for long term goals, like giving up some foods to maintain a healthy weight.

[Noredcarpet]

Because you win some and loose some. Plus changes do this to us, exciting but could be scary

[jkreuger95]

Instant vs prolonged long term gratification. This also goes for suffering/sadness etc

[Nikki1989]

It can feel bad because it triggers a conflict between the emotional and rational parts of the brain.

[jahaims]

Jobs aren't worth separating yourself from loved ones. Loved ones bring more joy than any amount of money. It feels sad because you are choosing something shallow over something of meaningful.

[genericname85]

cause staying where you are is comfortable. doing the right thing means moving out of the comfort zone. that's why it feels bad.

[Ariesman81]

Breaking attachment to security is tough. But if you're confident your purpose is elsewhere, staying will just make you resentful.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what kind of situation would that be...

[WhitneySnow]

Because you have mixed feelings

[Anonymous]

Why is this person not good for u

[Pearl222]

He couldn’t reciprocate my efforts in terms of time, attention and planning and I can’t respect someone who won’t meet me halfway. If I can’t respect him, I can’t love him.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe they are waiting for u to initiate