Relationships

How to forgive an ex?

TLDR; I didn’t lose my virginity until 31M and had a horrible time finding someone. The woman who took my virginity cheated on me, I left her. I’m now 36, and I’ve had another horrible five years until I got back with her. I can’t seem to forgive her even five years later

Long version: My whole 20s consisted of intense mockery and humiliation everytime I tried to date. I finally lucked out when I was 31 with a woman near my age. I loved her, tried being serious and all. Then she cheated on me and tried to convince me to let it happen. I finally had enough when I went home to see her in bed with another guy, and I threw them both out.

I went back on the market and had the same luck I had my whole 20s. Made fun, banned from a bar once, at least 500 rejections. A lot of people suggested I just gave up.

Recently, the ex who I left got a divorce after only 4 years and she came to me saying she realized she made a huge mistake all that time ago. She said she thinks I’m a really good man and that she felt awful for what she did. I decided to give her another chance. She hasn’t cheated yet at all and it’s been two months.

I recently admitted to myself and a friend that I can’t bring myself to forgive her cheating 5 years ago. The friend thinks I’m being ridiculous and saying she’s my only option. I just.. can’t move on. How to deal with this?

How to forgive an ex?
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