Why do ex partners from your past show up in your present, seeking to reconnect with you?

[Anonymous]

This man has been married since 2014, and it always appears to be a competition with his wife. I know a woman who got involved with him out of spite and ended up having an abortion. She has children with other men but essentially tried to imitate his wife. She even bought a white dress like his wife wore. Years later, she now wants to get back with him. She’s a known cheater. The man said that no one was interested in him respectfully until he got married, but for some reason, women believe they can compete with his wife. Additionally, this woman has caused the breakdown of other people's marriages.

[Noredcarpet]

It is proberbly complicated, deep why she acts the way she does and I sure can't deliver the truth here, but from the look of it you have two cheaters, he and her, so they must have had, has something in common. Pathetic use of his wedding ring as if he is an innocent victim of circumstances. If one does not know it already then yes, wearing a ring or rings of engagement or marital status does bring another type of admirers out from their bushes but one should recognize them for what they are, they don't exactly give you a good vibe (unless perhaps you are damaged yourself). My exes did not want to let go during us splitting and later, we too talk years here, unrortunately. They were too deep into their own shit and did not get help before when we actually still stood a chance, but maybe for them and everyone else not close to us it was all too early. After leaving I knew it was too late. I would not return if they got help or not. Too much damage. I could tell they were stubborn and as much as I tried to think they think I'm easy, it's insulting, I didn't matter when time was running out, the way they carried on made me consider they did still have true feelings for me enough now to do what it takes and unresolved issues, quilt, regret. Both of them had to my knowing not having had trouble if they wanted to to find someone else, except for the trouble they had with themselves. One would even have a girlfriend when telling me he would end things with her if only I came back to him, incidents too when one of them were telling others why he left his gfs was because they were not me, just crazy stuff brought on by them not working out what was wrong with them in the first place. So short answer is she is this crazy because she got shit to work on, on herself alone and her past with this guy, what is driving her now.

[Asker]

Wow this is deep! The crazy part of this all is that her first babydaddy has the same name as the girl husband. I honestly think people are just screwed up period. It’s even worse when they decide not to work on themselves

[Noredcarpet]

Yes primarily for their own sake but they get desperate I think so anything goes, never mind the rules, they don't apply to them and they think to anyone else as well? they get self destructive and kind of a wrecking ball for others to deal with. Sad part is what she wants so desperately she can't have til I think she has worked on herself. He should defintely work on himself too.

[emeraldsaphire]

She sounds like a walking red flag, yikes. So I've gotten back with a few exes before, I'd not recommend it. More recently shortly before I got married a guy I dated texted me. We hadn't dated in years and I think he was looking at our relationship with rose tinted glasses. I mean I'm a catch, but we just weren't right for each other, plus I was heads over heals in love with my husband by then.

I think it's a combination of nostalgia, often they can't get something in their current relationships and jealousy. Here you are happy where you are and they feel stuck.

[Asker]

Your answer is marvelous and congratulations on your marriage! I definitely agree with your answer. It’s time for people to grow up

[SamIam96]

It's interesting that you say "she's a know cheater" but don't have anything critical to say about the married man who got her pregnant. I don't believe this woman has the superpower to break up an otherwise healthy marriage.

Men welcome her into their lives to fill a void. Unfortunately for all involved, he's probably just looking for sex. She wants more.

[Asker]

Yeah she cheats horribly but she won’t ever leave her baby father or do him wrong!

[ABC1x1x]

Because I have a fat dick and fuck really well.

[Asker]

Lmao omgggg

[ABC1x1x]

I havea shitty personality and haye women because I was violently sexually molested by my 1st grade teacher. Thats probably why the sex goes off like a bomb.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm all about diving into the fun land of relationship drop-ins from the "ghosts" of relationships past! Sometimes, people feel the lure of nostalgia or a desire to relive past thrills, kind of like re-watching a favorite old movie. A love triangle can be irresistible to some, fueling the fiery thrill of competition. Noticing red flags here? Trust me, best stick with healthy connections—no popcorn-worthy dramas, please! 🎭 Be a curious cat only if you're ready for a stir of spices. 😜

[MrOracle]

I've had a couple of attempts, but I have a clear policy of "once you walk out the door, or are shown out, there is no reentry.

A couple of girls from my past have tried to contact me, having had their relationships fail and looking for a back up plan, but I never contacted them back.

[Asker]

The fact you have a policy and knew what was up lol

[MrOracle]

You DO understand that it's an incredibly common tactic for women to threaten to break up if they don't get their way, right? And that manipulation is a woman's #1 weapon?

A man that doesn't set boundaries and expectations is going to get run over from the woman's manipulation, and even though she is getting her way, she will lose respect for her man because he wasn't able to stand up to her.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

People come back for different reasons, and most of them have nothing to do with genuine love.

Sometimes they return because they’re lonely.

Sometimes because their new reality didn’t turn out the way they expected.

Sometimes they miss the comfort you gave them.

And sometimes they just want to know they still have access to you.

But showing up isn’t the same as showing growth.

Reconnection only matters if the person is different not just nostalgic, bored, or trying to fill a gap in their life.

[Anonymous]

Lack of options. To a lot of people exes are like, "in case of emergency break glass". If he or she gets a better option they'll probably dump that person or come up with some reason why it isn't working out. But for the time being that person can fill the gap in thier life.

It's unfortunate that people treat others like this, disposable. But welcome to modern dating.

[Asker]

You nailed it!

[Nikki1989]

My exes never went away. I am friends with all of them except one.

[Asker]

But how lol

[Screenwriter]

"If I can't have you, NOBODY can."

Some people are sick and sow chaos and destruction. Sounds like this woman is one of them. Tragic and frightening.

[genericname85]

cause people feel comfortable in the memory they have so they seek the connection to that comfort, not realizing that this comfort only exists in their memory, not in current reality. i think that's what it most likely is.

[DonaldDarko]

Not sure, probably some niche survival trait that evolved.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe they just need to be reminded why they broke up with you.

[TonyMetal___86]

Never had this experience and actually i hope that it neve happens!

[Barbara86]

They didn't realize what they had until it’s gone. And from the sounds of it, he doesn't want her. That tends to happen.

[beenherebefore]

They're bored in life.

[Phoenix98]

They haven't thankfully.

[exitseven]

it never happened to me.

[Anonymous]

Why does this concern you?

[jahaims]

Because they are trash

[Anonymous]

I don't have an ex.

[In_Trance]

Because you let them