Is it a red flag if your partner doesn't make an effort to integrate with your friend group, or is maintaining separate social circles healthy?

[HawkPerception]

It's a red flag if your partner doesn't make an effort to integrate

Maintaining separate social circles healthy

[Crimsyjo]

It's a red flag if a partner doesn't even want to try. But if they do try and for whatever reason don't click with them I think it's healthy or at least possible to maintain separate circles so long as one circle- partner or friend- doesn't complain or block the other.

A partner should be number one over friends tho. A good partner won't make you always choose them. But they ahould be chosen often.

[Crimsyjo]

My ex husbands best mate didn't like me. Didn't even give me a chance. He just instantly disliked his drinking buddy getting a girlfriend knowing he would be less available. So in our entire 12 years together his friendship was separate from me. I didn't have a problem with it. His mate was a sarcastic bitter dickhead anyways

[miana]

I mean if your partner is willing to try it's more than okay to not want to be apart of the same friend groups for some reason, but just saying no for no reason I feel is more a red flag.

But like everyone in the comments have been saying, your partner comes first, or you might as well go date your friends. In my opinion anyway. Your partners choice is first before your friends.

[Summeroflove]

It really depends on the situation. I mean you know the old song… my friends are your friends and your friends are my friends… But in reality this doesn’t always work. Some people may be amazingly romantically compatible but have a very different taste in friends.

I don’t want someone to be fake… As long as they don’t go out of their way to be mean. I do agree…. To make a effort and try

[Noredcarpet]

Im used to that with previous exes and current partner that we had one in common social life and one apart but important still the one apart was at least polite to you, or your partner.

I am sensitive when I am about to be introduced, enter a new group connected to a partner, such of family, friends, pals, coworkerd on how they treat me, or how they treat my partner, it should be mutual respect. If, when I don't feel that I am respected I withdraw. I don't tell my partner who to hang out with or not, but have bern told they can sense these things with me. What I usually sense about someone or some groups will later on prove itself, so I do feel as if I have made the right decision to say thanks, but no thanks, if, when I can have that luxury. I do not feel it is neccery to only have one common social life, especially if you have lets say different interests.

[Zack-Bann]

It’s a yellow flag I would say


I understand wanting not to merge your whole life


If we broke up it would be tough to share friends


But I can’t picture myself isolated from my partner’s social life or her from mine

[Zionne]

It depends on the balance. If your partner consistently avoids your friends without a clear reason, it can signal discomfort with your life or a lack of investment in the relationship. But having separate social circles is healthy too, as long as both of you feel included and supported in each other’s lives

[PeachyPie93]

It's defo a red flag.. my ex wouldn't even try to get to know my friends but he expected me to get to know his, and hangout with them. Then he got jealous of me talking to his friends so then I just stopped hanging out with them all together.

[mysteriousNicholas]

Depends - some cultures, some countries, they either have a pack mentality or an independent mentality - you know.
Like those who all go to the pub - versus each who go their own ways after work rather than following the herd -
Shrug

[HighValue]

Couples shouldn't hang out with each other's friends without their partner present. Most likely the majority of their friends are the opposite gender of their partner and people shouldn't be making new opposite gender friends once in a relationship.

[MicahRaine]

I mean we should at least know each other’s friends. That doesn’t mean we should both have all the same friends, but we at least should know each other’s friends and not have a fundamental issue with any of them.

[queenofcardio]

No. He doesn’t have to make an effort to become apart of my friend group. I don't mind if we have separate circles

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I think so but I also see the logic in saying maybe it could add drama that doesn't need to be there

[DonaldDarko]

I suppose it would be understandable if she didn't.

[Dina88]

I think it's a red flag and tiring to be the one putting in all the effort.

[Drumlin2001]

You can have upur own friend groups. Bit of an issue if they actively avoid your friends with no reason

[RavVid]

You could reasonably expect a veneer of civil discourse though.

[ABC1x1x]

I would worry if my partner socialized with the absolute whores I run with.

[Xawyx-2]

Not a red flag for me at all.

[itsannalee]

I don’t give a fuck with his friends

[MikeTheBartender]

How long have they been together?

[Ariesman81]

Keep them separate.

[40andabellygoingon]

Honestly I would prefer if they didn’t