Is prioritizing contacting friends over your partner a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I work nights and my boyfriend works in the day on top of this we live in cities 3 hours apart so we only see eachother twice a month at weekends.

when i wake up in the evening for work he's usually waiting for my text all day but sometimes i just contact my friends then prepare for work then contact him later

he gets really annoyed by this as he can see my activity status but i really dont see the problem if i text him at somepoint. am i a bad person for this? should i feel differently? does anyone elee do the same or do you agree with my boyfriends mind?

[anonanonanonomys]

He's just not as high of a priority for you. Thats not bad persay but it may not be what he wants. Do you think if this relationship progresses you would be able to handle living with him? Constantly being around and wanting to be first priority?

[Asker]

its not that as in almost any other situation id choose him over my friends its just when texting without thinking i reply to my frienda first and dont message him til im at work with a bit of free time

[anonanonanonomys]

Yea don't over stress it only you know how much you love him. Me and my boyfriend are the same way we don't feel the need to constantly text

[WildCard42]

When my ex-wife worked a few nights a month and I worked days our relationship pretty much started to fall apart (And we lived together).

I can't imagine being 3 hours apart and only seeing each other twice a month. That isn't much of a relationship and I can understand why he's starved for attention from you, and you texting your friends instead of him is almost like the nail in the coffin. It seems like more of a sex buddy agreement, no offense.

[Asker]

you dont have to see someone everyday at all stages for it to be a "relationship". we are in our first year of dating not married and i like him more than I've ever liked any guy I've dated. when we see eachother the time we spent feels like a year worth of relationship combined with all the assholes i dated in the past so your assumptions are entirely incorrect. i am someone who values my friendships equally as my relationship cause at the end of the day they are the same just slightly different. its not like i dont text him i just without thinking text him later than my friends

[WildCard42]

Only seeing each other twice a month, and not even wanting to text him much just isn't something I would put up with in a relationship personally. I need way more of her time than that.
I can understand why he gets upset that you prioritze your friends over him.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

You are not a "bad" person, lol. I personally would dislike it as well. It may sound selfish but I want to be the first person she things and the morning and the person she spends most of her free time with. But in your case, that's impossible to begin with...

[Fireguy17]

Nope.

You probably see your partner more than your friends, and if you call your partner and let him know what you did etc, you won't have anything left to talk about when you see him.

[AngryCarl]

No that's okay, your partner isn't your top priority. But I can also see why he's pissed about it because he thinks he should be. Unless your priorities change I think he's unlikely to stick around.

[Anonymous]

I'd have to know you in your entirety to say for sure.