Girls with multiple baby daddies, have you been able to find love?

[Anonymous]

As a man in my 30’s, I’ve always had sympathy for women who left abusive relationships for the sake of their mental health and/or children. And have dated several single mothers with multiple children, often from different men. But I have many friends who do not agree and say I’ll never be happy because the kids will resent me, baby daddy drama will be through the roof, custody battles, etc. I’m still willing to keep an open mind. Are there any girls here with multiple baby fathers that have been able to work it out with their new man? How did you introduce the kids so he is a part of the family, and how long did you wait before introducing them?

Updates

5 mo

Update: Do baby fathers with criminal history, domestic violence history, or drug use impact your decision? Can people who were attracted to these types change?

[Summeroflove]

Truthfully it depends on the woman. Some women come from situations where they don’t have a whole lot of control. A woman who was raped, a woman who was in a relationship she believed was loving but turned abusive or she got cheated on. Maybe even a woman who did make bad choices but has repented of that and isn’t doing that anymore. Yes.

Women who intentionally pick these type of men. Who double down living the way they do… I feel bad for her kids. That’s about it.

[Asker]

I’m glad to hear there are more open minded men out there. Some of the girls I’ve dated think it’s a curse. It’s all dependent on their decisions as how they’ve learned from their past. Unfortunately, some are still attracted to the same type of men that got them into this spot in the first place.

[Summeroflove]

Well. It depends. Yes sone women play the victim. But it’s a case by case basis.

[Asker]

Thanks. I guess the same can be said for men who have many children with multiple women and don’t stay for the kids. The kids are the ones that end up getting hurt and perpetuate the cycle.

[Summeroflove]

NAILED it..: and rheh cry they have to pay child support. Those men…. If they had the opportunity to raise those kids as a single dad. They wouldn’t….

Now. Yes. Some men fight for their kids. But there are so many people who have sex. Bring kids into the world…. And refuse to take care of them

[Abbycado]

I don’t have children, but I reckon I’d be cautious introducing children to a new partner, especially if young, until I was confident that the relationship was serious.

Last thing you want to do is have guys keep exciting a child’s life when they don’t understand why.

[Asker]

That makes perfect sense, and I’ve always respected women who wait to introduce their kids while getting to know me. Great advice!

[Abbycado]

Thanks. Yeah, it would be no matter single mother or single father. Either way, it is all about stability, especially for the younger kids.

[Asker]

Most of them are really young, which is why I worry. One girl introduced me to her kids on the 2nd date. I don’t like to judge or assume anything, but anyone that throws kids at me early on seems like they are looking for a savior, or financial stability. I feel really bad for kids that have to deal with multiple father figures coming and going as they grow up.

[Abbycado]

I agree. That’s not a good strategy in my opinion to introduce young kids that soon. They don’t understand why people come and go. There is a chance that they could develop a complex it is their fault.

[Asker]

Have definitely had that happen, and am dealing with it right now. I’m sure the kids are devastated but there is nothing I can do.

[Abbycado]

No, and that’s not your fault. It is hers for putting them in that situation. Not smart on her part.

[Abbycado]

Ty for mho!

[Anonymous]

Multiple? I would think even 2 baby daddies would be a lot.

[Asker]

Do you think that would be a huge turn off for most people?

[AI Opinion]

As a spicy and empathetic relationship coach, I've seen plenty of success stories with women finding love despite the challenges. It's all about communication, trust-building, and understanding family dynamics. Love in this scenario requires extra patience, clear boundaries, and blending families at the right pace. Introducing kids gradually, ensuring a stable foundation before meeting your partner, and open-hearted communication is vital. Keep riding that open-mind train; romance thrives on unexpected tracks! 💘 Your determination to understand this complex situation is a green flag, not a red one! 🚦

[Anonymous]

Some of them do, but many of them don't.

[Asker]

That is sad as a lot of these women end up with guys that are just looking for hookups and not long term relationships. And the cycle continues. By the time they are 30 some of them have 4-5 kids with multiple deadbeat fathers. With fewer and fewer chances that the children will have a father figure.

[Opinion Owner]

My thoughts exactly.