Does Being A Single Mom Stop You From Finding True Love?

[Redd888]

Does being a single mom with 2 kids stop you from finding true love again? Cause most men are not being sincere anymore!!

[Minxxie]

Of course not! But I would focus on dating other single parents because there are a lot of men who will specifically date single moms to try and sexually abuse her children. If a man isn't a single parent himself but he's excited to know that you have kids I would be suspicious. Some might genuinely just want to love your kids normally as a good step-father but you have to be careful!

Plus I also just think you would relate easier to a single-father, he would know the struggles you go through.

My ex's dad is actually his stepdad though! He was childless and very young when he met my ex's mom and he fell in love with her and raised her two young children as his own, they won't even speak to their bio dad and they both took his last name instead. Then he has a third child, the youngest, with their mom. So the two eldest are not biologically his but the youngest is, but he loves them all the same! He's the type of man who loves being a dad though, he was heartbroken when I didn't become his daughter-in-law because he's known me since I was in high-school.

There are different concerns now as a single parent in the dating market, but single parents fall in love all the time! There are blended families everywhere these days! I think it's a beautiful thing too, people feel less pressure to remain in loveless and abusive marriages, which I think is actually much healthier for the children as well! I can say this as a child of divorce myself! I would have had to endure so much more family drama and witness much more fighting if my parents stayed together, it was a relief when they divorced!

[kylee2437]

Nope I know plenty of mothers in new relationships. As you get older, having children with past partner (s) is more of the norm to see

[jb2622]

Yeah traditional family structure is more or less dead in this country.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 that sounds negatively oriented though when it doesn’t have to be. A lot of people have kids at a young age and grow apart from the person they dated in their young years.

[jb2622]

It is what it is, baby mamma culture rules the day. The person posting the question doesn't seem to positive.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 I’m personally single with no kids and many men aren’t sincere anyways. I don’t think a baby changes that and I personally know people with kids in sincere relationships. No one has to be trapped in bad relationships

[jb2622]

Id agree not having a kid doesn't make insincere men go away they will always be there. And having a kid doesn't make a relationship impossible but you do have to be a lot more realistic with a kid. having kids has consequences good and bad. The bad is it will cut out the guys that want a relationship with a woman without a kid and that's a lot of guys.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 yeah but what you aren’t understanding is there’s ton of men in the world to go around and what do you think is dateable is dateable to others. People in this generation think they are a dime a dozen especially men that think they have leverage because they won’t date a single mom

[kylee2437]

What you don’t think is dateable*

[jb2622]

Sure and they those guys are welcome to it. What leverage exactly does not wanting to date a single mom afford? I don't see any only limits options really but it's a deal breaker for a lot of guys and it is their chooses. Do you think single moms are owned something? there is a pool of guys that will date them and ones that won't simple as that.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 I never said they are owed anything , I said that men that won’t date them think they are in a hierarchy because they won’t. Your attitude towards this proves my point. There’s no less advantage they have just because they have kids, just aren’t meeting the correct men. Hell, when my friend was PREGNANT guys were still talking to her 🤷🏻‍♀️

[jb2622]

Hierarchy is a weird way to say men can choose what the want but sure. If you think the same number of men and type of men go for women with kids as the ones who don't then a lot of what you said above about hierarchy doesn't makes sence. I bet there were guys talking to her but there where guys that would have but didn't.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 I am not saying men can’t pick what they want but you aren’t better than her just because of your preferences. It’s not a weird way to put it. Look at your response to the idea of single mothers dating. The point being is your dating preferences don’t make you better than the other. This generation try’s to hold their own selves to be way more important than they actually are

[jb2622]

You said your single, I have no doubt men have approached you why do you think your better and higher on the hierarchy then them. Same thing if there not what your looking for you dont own them.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 I never said I was better than men, and I could be in a relationship if I wanted to right now but I have preferences I abide by just like you have preferences you abide by. Me being single has nothing to do with what you said, I just want what I want in my life.

[jb2622]

Thats cool sounds like your making smart chooses about what to want. There is a set of guys that dont want to date single moms because they want something different for their life. Simply but Single moms only have guys that see a single mom as there future and insecure guys that lie about it. I have no doubt there are a lot of both.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 there’s guy that see single moms at their future? I mean if there’s a guy that wants a woman with children more power to him. I don’t think that makes a man insecure.

[jb2622]

Sorry insincere guys* and there will be some high quality guys that want single moms just not many. Guys just don't exists in a vacuum, their peaple with reasons for wanting things. Only reason I can think of off the top is if a guy can't have kids of his own but still wants to play a father role.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 the problem with men like Andrew Tate and such is those people divided people into “low quality” and “high quality” . I’m willing to bet you can’t even define what high quality even means

[jb2622]

I've heard of Andrew Tate but don't follow or know the back story, but lets just say a guy that's actually committed to the relationship and is doing alright in life. Maybe holding down a job hasn't been to prison that sort of thing. Thats going to be a little different for everyone.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 so how does that apply to the women that have kids and are also in successful committed relationships with other men that haven’t been to prison and have a job?

[kylee2437]

With another man**

[jb2622]

Well if they both have the relationship they want good for them not my place to say.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 that doesn’t make much sense when a kid is a added responsibility

[jb2622]

if that's what they want it's there life and there relationship they can figure out how they want it to work.

[RavVid]

I don't really get the import of the second sentence but as to the first the short answer is no.

But it will be more difficult. You do need to empower the new "father" and not allow your children to reject his authority.

Obviously if you conceived twice from hook ups, no man is going to be impressed. At the least they will wonder at your contraception skills and perhaps at your likely fidelity.

If you conceived twice to a husband and then became divorced, a man will will wonder at your relationship skills. If your husband initiated divorce, what was so bad about you he'll think. If you initiated divorce, he'll wonder about your long term continuity after he puts in all the effort.

A situation in between those raises each of those questions plus more.

Quite simply men have a natural preference to be the natural father if they are putting the effort and money into being a dad. The simple fact is that as a mom most of your focus and attention will be on the kids and not him. You may tell him you are too tired for sex a lot to get very basic. In the early phases there may be difficulties with baby sitting and dates.

Single ladies who don't have children heavily outgun you. All things being equal the men will pair up with them rather than you. if true love to you is a 6 ft man with a 6 pack and 6 figure income then it becomes more unlikely. You will need to compromise on your mate choice and work on your value to men.

That last phrase is of key importance and your best chance to compensate for coming with a family already attached.

[PatientZeR0]

No, I don’t think so. I’ll be there so it will be people who have difficulty finding love, and there’s gonna be certain attributes, and certain things that are going to be turn on the turn off. I personally always thought that I should never date a single mother, and then I dated a single mother, and now I know for certain that I should not date a single mother I just not in me I barely want one kid as it is. It’s nothing personal and I know that there are people out there especially people that already have children too but I’d say it’s it’s just too difficult. I don’t even know if I wanna have kids and if I do have kids, I only have one. It’s nothing personal I just it just doesn’t click with me but does that mean it’s impossible for somebody to find love? Are there not people out there that can’t be stepfathers or are interested in having kids outside themselves or already have kids and they need a stepbrother stepsister Playdate or whatever yeah of course for me now I can I can’t do it And I know lotta other people who can’t so just respect peoples opinion on that there’s no reason to force it it’s not gonna help anything

[Avicenna]

Two kids? Yeah, 90% of the time she doesn't have a chance for two main reasons: 1) No man who has other options will want to bother with kids that aren't his, and 2) the single mom is too messed up to have a stable relationship.

As a result, a disproportionate number of these single moms expose their kids to men who commit violence against the child.

[coachTanthony]

The chads will still sleep with you and leave during the night and the simps will always be there looking to play step daddy. They have the best of both worlds lol

[Apple1996]

Nope If anything it might make it easier to find love since that woman knows exactly what she's looking for

[jb2622]

You can know what you want doesn't mean it's there or available.

[Apple1996]

@jb2622 statistically single moms are 10% more likely to find true love compared to people that aren't parents. So they do have some advantages

[kylee2437]

@Apple1996 I sense this man thinks his worth is bigger than most people’s

[jb2622]

Cool from that statistic more women should be go out and be a single mom, it will give them the edge in finding "true love".

[jb2622]

how do you measure worth since you want to judge

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 a judgmental person is someone that judges based on a preference that isn’t even their own.

[jb2622]

So your judging me based off of preference that arnt your own. who's preference are you judging me on then?

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 I’m not judging your preference I’m judging your sense of character when it comes to other peoples lives , and your severe exaggeration of self worth

[jb2622]

What exactly is my sense of self worth, what is my sense of character in other peaples lives. As far as I can tell your the only one judging here.

[kylee2437]

@jb2622 this isn’t even your comment , let’s start there

[jb2622]

I'm here because of this " I sense this man thinks his worth is bigger than most people’s"

[kylee2437]

You commented before I said that …..

[jb2622]

I stand by it you can 100% knowing what you want does mean its available. I want 20 acres of land 2 hour away with power and water and I dont want to pay more then 80k. been checking Zillow for years. You dont just get what you want because you know what it is. That only going to make it harder.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No, however, you need to understand depending on how you became a single mom matters a lot.

Did you whore around and got pregnant or were married and became a widow?

Understand being a single especially with two small children, you are asking another man who is not the father of those kids to bare the responsibility of those kids and another thing you as a single mom with 2 kids in the way, it significantly cuts time a man will have alone time with you.

Understand your options of men will be seriously limited but you can always still find love if you are patient enough and perhaps lucky too.

[Pyrofox]

Its a lot of baggage. Doesn't mean it's "never" but, its not "garenteed" either. Guys don't like typically being a step father cause its stressful to think about what if it doesn't work out. I've invested in the mom and the kid now and if the mom leaves. I'm now breaking up with two plus people really that I've invested time and often times literal money into. And it gets tiring with single moms as it often feels like they just using their male partners as piggybanks or free food vendors.

[Pyrofox]

As to how hard is it to work out well its actually simple just be genuine and if you are truly in love with the guy then tell him cause dating a single mom with one kid let alone TWO KIDS is like jumping off the empire state building and can be magical but its also a free fall. As it can be intimidating to think about the future. Guys want to know its really working out.

As to men not being sincere its mostly cause they feel like women are using the opportunity of the date. For free food and aren't actually LITERALLY there for the date. A lot of women come off as though they are playing games. Which a lot of guys are already thinking long terms and it just comes off as insulting if its all games. Like if you wanna save yourself for post marriage then say it don't act it. Cause guys deal with definites and not "maybe's"

[nawtee_me]

As a single father I am not sure how to answer this. For me it was hard to find a girl that wanted to date and become a mother of someone else’s child too if a relationship developed. I can see the same thing with guys wanting to date but not be a parent too.

[UniquelyBasic]

I think it would be harder than it otherwise would be if she didn't have kids. It's just a lot of extra responsibility that some men don't want to have, especially when it's someone else's kids. Not saying it's impossible to find love while being a single mother but women with no kids will probably have an easier time.

[smilelots]

To generalize most men are not being Sincere is not correct but I’m sure you’ve had your share of men that are not being sincere. Just be yourself don’t be anything you’re not being honest and sincere put yourself out there. There are good men out there that will fall in love with you and your children, but don’t put everybody in the same category or you will lose.

[LiamJHayden]

No, but the exact situation might make a difference in how difficult it is for her. A self-sufficient lady who is widowed (or who was abandoned and has no baby daddy drama) will likely have it easier than one who is on assistance with five kids all from different daddies, each of whom lurks around and brings drama.

[Nikki1989]

No, it is often an advantage in the dating world. The men that will say no are usually the ones that can barely look after themselves, let alone a woman with kids, so ignore them.

[genericname85]

i think that using the words "true" and "love" in combination is completely pointless. cause love is already highly subjective and vague. and by adding "true" to it, you add confusion instead of clarificaiton.

[Unit1]

I'll tell you what I do.

The moment I find out a girl has any kids? My interest goes down to zero. My childfree lifestyle is incompatible with kids.

[CaliAttorneyGuy]

The girl I’m pursing is a single mom I’ve known for 30 years as a friend. Generally, I wouldn’t be interested in a single mom unless there was a deep connection, chemistry, and attraction.

[Akam93]

All they care about is spending their money on someone else kids. It's ridiculous. Won't love a woman no matter how loving or right she is for him. Kids get in the way for them.

[jb2622]

Correct, it is ridiculous to be the clean up guy. That money came at the cost of significant sacrifice Unless she's a widow or you can't have kids of your own, why should you? some vague notion of true love? Probably didn't mean much to the guy before.

[lightbulb27]

I married and she has two kids and seen this for others. You can find love again.

[jb2622]

True love what is that? Believing in Disney non sence will keep your from building a meaningful relationship though.

[SolitarySolace]

It definitely would make it that much more difficult.

[Anonymous]

I imagine it comes with its challenges as it relies on your partner being good for you and your kids so maybe it's harder to find them. But I imagine it's also easier in some ways to tell if they are what your really looking for.

[shades777]

men without kids want women without kids, problem is women with kids want men without kids and not men like themselves

[jahaims]

Most good men don't want to inherit a single moms mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily. Your best bet as a single mom is to just focus on your kids until they turn 18, then, if you haven't completely let yourself go you can probably find someone.

[Sasha0426]

Woooow! I was with you until you mentioned about her weight. That was a very rude thing to say that you should’ve kept to yourself. Especially to someone you don’t even know. Shame on you.

[Opinion Owner]

Those are just the facts lol sorry but a lot of men aren't attracted to fat women. Unless it's a fetish thing.

Women don't like short dudes and men don't like fat women. It is what it is.

[Sasha0426]

You know what? I need to start commenting on people’s appearances. How do you do it without feeling bad?

[Opinion Owner]

Some women get so mad when you give them honest advice. If you want to be attractive to men, then take care of yourself.

[Sasha0426]

I want to start calling people ugly. How do I go about that?

[Opinion Owner]

And it isn't like I just randomly went up to her called her fat. She asked a question, I answered it, and offered a solution.

[Opinion Owner]

You're just setting her up for failure for the sake of not hurting her feelings. If she listens to you she's going to die alone. How is that helpful?

[Sasha0426]

You’re so right! In order to have a long lasting, healthy, and successful relationship, you have to be attractive.

[Sasha0426]

That’s the only way to find love is your looks.

[Sasha0426]

Am I right?

[Sasha0426]

You’re awfully quiet. What happened? 😂

[Opinion Owner]

It always starts with lust, then, feeling real feelings develop over time. So yes, you have to be seen as attractive to the opposite gender if you want a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Should I be expected to drop everything to explain basic shit to you? Lol

[Sasha0426]

Nah, I don’t like you.

[Sasha0426]

Also, trying to please men is super exhausting and takes a toll on my mental energy. It gets SO tiring that I don’t even want to try. I rather just die single. It’s a lot easier.

[Sasha0426]

Not just men, but anyone really. I’m actually at peace that I don’t have to try to do anything for anyone.

[Sasha0426]

To be honest, I just want to be left the hell alone. I don’t really like people.

[Opinion Owner]

You are well in your right to dislike me, the same way men are well in their right to not like fat chicks. Lol

And you're admitting you aren't good at relationships, pleasing men, or relationships in general so I don't know why you think anyone should be taking relationship advice of any sort from you.

[Sasha0426]

Oh, I don’t expect them to. But, whatever. I guess you and I are enemies from this day forth.

[Opinion Owner]

Nah, it's completely one sided. I don't care enough about you to consider you an enemy.

You're just becoming defensive for no reason, since you have nothing to take personally to begin with as you dont desire any kind of relationship with anyone. But for whatever reason you still want to police the preferences that other people have. You do you, but it's werid. Lol

by the way just because a guy isn't interested in pursuing a relation with a woman doesn't mean that he hates them. You don't just hate someone simply because you don't want to date them.

[Sasha0426]

Oh, you’re so wrong on that. I’m the most hated person you’ll ever meet. Many men can tell you how horrible I am and they wish I didn’t exist.
Also, I’m not policing preferences. I just hate how people go out of their way and point out someone’s appearance when that person never asked or brought up about their appearance. It just seems rude to me.

[Sasha0426]

Also, that person is aware how they look and struggle with their appearance. Hell, people who struggle wish they weren’t alive and believe they don’t deserve love of any kind. It’s why I don’t say anything unless they ask me personally.

[Opinion Owner]

You are policing preferences. I never went out of my way to point out her appearance. I actually didn't say anything about her appearance. I was speaking in general about what the best chance a single mother has at finding a man. The asker is clearly frustrated so I offered some advice.

[Sasha0426]

Ok, you’re right. I’m the bad guy in this.

[Sasha0426]

She is probably fat and no man would want her.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sure a lot of people are unhappy with their appearance and most of the time it's something they can fix. But again, I DONT go up to random women and tell them they look like shit.

[Opinion Owner]

You aren't a bad person lol you just need to chill out a bit

[Opinion Owner]

I can at least see that you have good intentions.

[Sasha0426]

But, how am I policing preferences? Everyone has preferences and I’m denying that.

[Sasha0426]

Not denying that

[Opinion Owner]

You had a very emotional reaction to me saying men have preferences. You acted as if made a hobby out of walking up to random women and commenting on their appearance.

[Sasha0426]

Because I’ve been down that road and it don’t feel good. It’s like I would be minding my own business and men would have no issue saying how ugly I am. It’s like I have no idea what I did to them. I know what I look like so why remind me? 🙄

[The_Smart_Engineer]

I don’t think so unless you look too old and unhygienic…

[Tomisworthless]

only true love is Gods and your mother. Everything else is lust or transactional

[admles]

My wife was a single mum of two boys when I first met her.

[Anonymous]

Oh man you're a single mom? I am sorry I feel bad for you.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It can definitely make it harder

[boggboss]

It can put it on pause yes

[Emanon25]

Absolutely not

[In_Trance]

It could slow you down for sure

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆