The classic religious stance in the west (based on Christianity) is that people shouldn't divorce one another unless there's a case of sexual immorality or abandonment by a disbeliever occurs. So say a single mom was married to her husband and he cheated on her by butt fucking some gay prostitute or something like that, then it's fine that she divorced him and seeks a new marriage. But if they just argue a lot for whatever reason and she decides to drop divorce papers on the kitchen table one night because she's not happy anymore, then she's the disbeliever that is abandoning her marriage, and thus she can never remarry, but being that he was abandoned by a disbeliever he can legitimately remarry. When it comes to widows, they are encouraged to not remarry unless they can't manage themselves. That is to say, if they would sleep around with other guys outside of marriage or they can't take care of themselves and their children with any level of fitness then they should consider getting married again. In the modern world, most women can afford to manage their own lives even if it is difficult and it's hard on the klds to introduce some false father figure into the mix. After the kids are grown, maybe that's an option. When it comes to just getting pregnant outside of marriage, generally the two are encouraged to get married and take care of the child. If they don't, well then the woman brought it on herself by fornicating outside of marriage and having a bastard child. She's clearly a disbeliever and isn't committed to any solid concept of marriage to begin with. In today's society with all the birth control it's kind of inexcusable to be a single mom due to fornication.
Most moral judgement of single moms are going to stem from some derivative of this basic moral framework. Guys are going to avoid women with children because she's either a fornicator that has no moral compass, and thus isn't really considered for serious relationships, or the men don't want to be the false father figure to some other man's kids and traumatize the little ones after they lost their father to some tragic event. If the woman is legitimately a good person and was widowed with children then then some men might show sympathy and take her in and adopt her children, but that's in a time when women couldn't necessarily care for themselves and her children. Today, it's not exactly a realistic scenario. Generally single mom's today are in that position because they are of bad character, and as a result most guys are going to avoid them like the plague.
Guys may not consciously understand the religious foundation of their behavior, but really that's what men will default to. They will have an inclination that women that are having multiple baby dadies outside of marriage are a no go. They will be seen as dirty and untrustworthy. They will be more prone to cheating on you (adultery) because they are having kids with other dudes without actually developing solid relationships with people that lead to marriage. If women are divorcing men and running of with the kids through he court system and collecting child support, they will be seen as immoral and uncompromising women that aren't suited for relationships that will abandon you at the nearest inconvenience which leads to unjust responsibility and hardship. They will not want to be a father to other men's bastard kids that are misbehaving due to a lack of a solid father figure and an amoral independent femenist woman. They will make exceptions on occasion for good kids from good men that they knew in their community that died in unfortunate situations. Like say their father was a war hero or a firefighter that died saving people in a burning building, and the kid was being brought up right, he's a good kid, but now the women is widowed and the kid is struggling, some guys might step in and become the rock of the relationship and help raise the kid up and marry the woman if she's of solid character and genuinely a good and attractive woman to them.
Single mothers need to understand that they're naturally less attractive and less "valuable" in the dating market. Assuming she's young naturally as once you're older it's more common. They still definitely can date well though.
A single mother naturally has baggage of the father. Do I have to deal with this guy? Is he a deadbeat? If he is why were you with him? Does she take personal responsibility for her prior failed relationship or just blame everything on the father?
You also can't compete with the affection of their child and it's gotta be a bit awkward at first to know your role especially if it's a serious relationship. She'll also be tied down or unable to do certain things people near my age do.
It comes down to her life would probably be better/easier with a stable relationship of a loving man and role model that helps her take care of the child and her. She's in a rougher place alone (where she has family or not).
I say all this and the answer to whether I would date a single mother is yes I would. Obviously the circumstances and personality... all that would decide it but for me that's not a cut ties and run necessarily. The men that do are very shallow and likely overvalue themselves (red pill bros) or just want sex and to run.
Honestly, I feel the same way about single fathers.
It’s their fault that their relationship ended. Whether their SO was abusive or not, it’s still their fault.
@Peridot25 you very rarely can blame entirely the other person, it's honestly immature and a red flag if you can't take any personal responsibility, especially when you're now raising a child on your own.
That goes for both genders but simultaneously I feel like in our society single father's are almost admired and revered for "sticking it out" so to speak while there's obviously a massive negative connotation to single mothers
So should we treat single fathers the same way?
@Peridot25
Not necessarily I was just pointing out the societal differences at least I've noticed from my perspective. I'm only considering females so I don't have much of an opinion on single father's unless I become one somehow lol
Single moms can stay single while also looking for a husband by balancing their independence with their desire for a new relationship. This involves managing their responsibilities while being open to meeting someone new. Here’s how they can navigate this journey, incorporating the given keywords:
Healing Past Wounds: Address past infidelity in marriage through marriage counselings for infidelity. Understanding and healing from past experiences can make it easier to trust and connect with a new partner.
Seek Professional Help: Utilise marriage counselings services and marital counsellors near me to gain insights and strategies for effective marriage communication. Professional guidance can help single moms understand what went wrong in their past relationships and how to avoid repeating those mistakes.
Build Emotional Connections: Focus on creating an emotional connection in marriage by improving effective communication. Understanding and addressing communication issues in marriage can pave the way for a healthier future relationship.
Address Intimacy Issues: Work on resolving intimacy problems in marriage by engaging in intimacy counselings. Learning how to create intimacy in marriage is crucial for building a strong foundation with a future partner.
Understand Marriage Dynamics: Educate themselves on common marriage problems and solutions. This knowledge can help in moving past infidelity and dealing with marriage arguments in a constructive manner.
Balance Independence and Relationship Goals: Single moms can stay single and maintain their independence while looking for a husband by prioritising their emotional connection in marriage and working on intimacy problems in marriage. This involves being open to intimacy counselings and effective communication practices.
By addressing past marriage problems, seeking professional help, and focusing on emotional and physical intimacy, single moms can effectively navigate their single hood while being open to finding a new partner.
That’s why when you choose a partner make sure it’s a stable healthy one that isn’t lazy and is likely to stay with the family rather than bail or die.
Of course we can’t always know but most of the girls that do stay single had major warning signs and they still decided to stay.
It’s only a small percent that didn’t know and had no signs, just bad luck.
If you have small kids and you see Wes ring signs in new partners, you have to remember that your kids come first. So drop the guy is he’s mistreating the kids or showing signs of annoyance or asking you to not spend time with them etc.
You can search for a partner when the smallest child turns 18. That way you don’t risk the chance of having a child being abused by your partner or even yourself if the new partner brainwashed you which has happened in many cases and the child suffers.
Navigating the dating scene as a single mom can indeed feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a piece missing—perplexing and sometimes, frustrating. The truth is, single moms, like anyone else, deserve love and companionship. Yes, there's a lot of noise out there—some say stay single and devote yourself entirely to your kids, while others champion the search for a romantic partner.
But here's the scoop: it's not about what "they" say. It's about what you desire and what fits your life and your family best. There are plenty of men out there who admire the strength, commitment, and love that single moms bring to the table. The key is to seek someone not because you need a partner to complete your family or your life, but because you want someone to share the love and joy you've already created.
Let's ditch the naysayers and spread the love, shall we? Single moms navigating the dating world, remember: Your journey, your rules. Find someone who's ready to dance to the rhythm of your family's melody. Love is out there, and it doesn't discriminate based on family structure. Keep your head high and keep the faith!
Opinion
20Opinion
Well, if the same people are saying both things, that's who needs to explain what they mean. I've never heard anyone say that single moms should look for a husband, but presumably some of them do. The problem is that there usually isn't anything in it for the guy. And she isn't going to get a husband without him already being a boyfriend in a stable relationship with her first unless he's really messed up, in which case she shouldn't have anything to do with him in the first place.
As a parent, especially a single parent, your children's upbringing and their safety is supposed to be your top priority, not your own dating life, so it may not even really be possible to meet someone. And if you do, you have to wonder why this person wants to be with you and not a woman who doesn't have kids. Do she really think this person will solve her problems?
I've known several guys who met, and married, single moms. They told me it was great to have a ready-made family. Some of them went on to have their own kids too, while some didn't.
The notion that no man wants them is a fallacy, it's just the guys looking for a vapid one night stand, superficial booty call or similar arrangement who might be deterred by a woman having kids or maybe someone who is too insecure to be okay with her kids coming first in her books.
So maybe some guys will be deterred but they're the wrong ones anyways. If anything, for a single mom her kids could act as a filter to rule out some of the wrong guys.
My bro is dating a previously single mom and he treats her kids like gold. It's just a matter of finding the right one.
People can get told different things by different people with different opinions, y'know.
It isn't like anyone is obligated to do multiple contradictory things simultaneously... or even any of it.
In any case, all the busybodies with opinions on how others should live their lives probably believe that "single mothers" shouldn't exist because every woman should stick with the guy who knocked her up... regardless of how much of an arsehole he is. Those busybodies don't want to know the circumstances, don't care, and just want to swing their opinions around.
Still... most guys aren't exactly big on the idea of raising someone else's kids. And the best match for single mothers tend to be... well... single fathers.
If she is pretty enough most (not all) men will marry a single mom provided she is prettier than single gals they could marry. A single mom can look for a husband but to find a husband she much have lower standards than she would if she was not a single mom.
Think any thought in your head, and there's someone who says that. Just because someone has said something, doesn't mean that everyone believes that, or that you have to live by it. The world is filled with people who believe all kinds of things, and in a constant state of contradiction. Worrying about that is useless.
I don’t think this is true. I know several men at work with step-children they loved and raised as their own. My own daughter is not biologically mine but I’ve been in her life since she was one.
Admittedly, a woman needs to ‘bring a little more to the table’ when she’s single and it helps that there is zero drama or contact between her ex.
😑
There will always be people in a scenario, “Hey you should do ____”. Then another saying, “No one will want to _____, so don’t even try”. Who cares what others say? Do it!
Just let men know upfront if you are a single parent so, they aren’t shocked / put away by it. That is the best way to navigate this and you should find a nice partner in the future since you are worthy of love. You are worthy of love.
I think it’s just a matter of who the woman is, how adaptable her kids are, etc.
Personally, though it’s hard to be a single parent I’d stay single till the kids were older to avoid questions about motive, the nonsense about why raise someone else’s kid, blah blah blah. Just be the best mom you can be. Once they’re older and more formed (less impressionable) you’ll have more time to look for a guy… at that point it’s more about your personality, values, etc.
Of course there are men who would and will date single mothers, and plenty who have. Not every man will though. So their options are narrowed a bit. It’s not like women were just wildly open to dating every man they meet anyway. So they’re not the only ones with standards now. That’s equality. YAY FEMINISM! Am i right? Ell oh ell!
It is completely true that men want single women who are childless. It is also true that single moms are better off with a husband.
What you have to be is a much better option than other (single) women. Single fathers for example might find a single mom a better option.
Understand what men look for and be willing to be what they look for. There have been many questions here on that topic. It is more than your beauty.
There's no category of women that "No man" wants and vice versa
Even a grossly obese woman can find a man who loves her
It is true that lot of men do not prefer single moms like how lot of women don't prefer single dads
Doesn't make it impossible to find one
it is true that very few men would be willing to take a single mother. but it is also true that the best thing a single mother can do for her child is getting a man to help raise that child.
it's a shitty situation. stating the fact that it will be very difficult for a single mother to find a man doesn't mean they shouldn't try that.
don't listen to everyone. there's women with kids who find 2nd husband, many times. there's always a buyer and a seller... each thinks they are right.
Im lucky. there's other fish… find good values and make it work.
Well, the single moms themselves need to decide if they need a husband to help raise their kids or not.
If husband is a need for them then only they should look for a man, otherwise they should raise their children alone.
It's not that they're supposed to stay single. They're just not the first choice. Most single mothers are single mothers for a reason. Generally bad choices. When a woman says she's a single mother, she's basically telling the guy, "I already have strike 1 against me." When a woman is a single mother, it's up to HER to convince the guy she is a worthwhile gamble. Because make no mistake about it she is a riskier bet.
I find your description really confusing, but single mums should stay single and probably will. Why should a guy bring up somebodies else's kid. On your update i have also had the questions and answers change from what i actually put.
And why should a woman bring up someone else’s kid?
@Peridot25 Never said they should
m stop listening and stop doing what you're told
be an adult, a grown-up... make your own choices, live your own life
I’m not a single mom 🤨
more the reason to stop wondering about these things... lol
Your very real for pointing out that double standard.
You really need to stay off the redpill forums causing this cognitive dissonance
Not all men have issues with dating single women. Surely their chances are lower but not impossible.
Yeah, it’s a challenge. Helps if you’re hot though. Your strategy also needs to change. Workplace is probably better than the bar.
I've known several single people with kids who got married a second time.
@Peridot25 That's totally stupid
that is called they need 'sex partner' LOL
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