How do I combat this feeling?

[Anonymous]

Ever since my best friend crossed me and I forgave her I can’t help but feel like she is always trying to one up me. She kissed one of my exes a couple weeks ago. While in a relationship as well.


How do I combat this feeling, I feel like I can’t fully trust her. Which is why I feel like she is trying to one up me

[Noredcarpet]

The trust is broken and I for one do not buy that she is so soon afterwards fully aware of what she has done wrong as this is still so new and she is battling at the same time her own shit.

When a friend of mine did not show up when I for once in my life needed her support she too was in a period that she was not doing well. I had been there for her for years. I got to a point when I had to shut the door on her and anyone else that came with her as the alternative to continue our friendship was no longer am option for me, I could not forgive her, and I did not believe she had great remorse. I have never regretted that decision.

I have understood something about myself. It is that I have been drawn to people who one way or the other comes from broken homes, circumstances. I one way this has made them mature, in another, if not dealt right, they can be a danger to themselves and others and for others, such as yourself, to clean up the mess for them and they take it for granted you forgive and continue as usual. It gets to a point when you realize any healthy loving relationship has to be mutual, trust is one of the things needed. People can lean on you for some time but not always as that is no friendship, mutual.

I remember what you wrote before. My red flag went up as I realized you were to me way too kind to allow your ex to your party. He should not have been invited with the rest. If you did not trust the rest well, then they too should not have been invited. You have some people pleaser mode in you that allowed him in. I know what that is like. Your kindness was used, abused because they are the wrong people.

They say us who went through some shitty things in our past, childhood, we have some times too much empathy and to tell the truth that empathy can be your own worst enemy if you have it for someone who can't see straight or let in a threat, which your friend did. Some friendships in life they are not for life, and some romantic relationships are not either, and you have to let them go instead of them continuesly grabbing hold of your feet and trying to bring you down with them.

[Asker]

Thank you