Is it Over Between Us?

Question

sawno · Accepted Answer

I don't think its over necessarily but I see you make a correlation that's not a correlation.
Engagement and public sign of commitment isn't the same thing. So which of those two things do you really want? A lot of great guys don't want to go in a predatory legal contract so they may not be willing to marry but would be willing to stay forever.

So be honest, what do you really want? Do you want him to be locked in a contract with you or do you want it to just be a display? Because that difference is important. If he isn't comfortable marrying anyone then that doesn't mean the public display has to be an issue, but if that's closely tied together in your approach it could be why he is so resistant.

Now lets assume the engagement is just because you want the fairy tale, not to entrap him into a contract. Then make sure he knows that's all your asking. Could be as little as just wearing a ring mutually right? See where his boundry is, and understand why the boundry is there to begin with. He's intimidated by something, go find out what that is.

sawno · Accepted Answer

I think you are new to this site and accidentally posted twice. For people wanting context this is probably the same asker :

SueShe · Accepted Answer

If you have to ask, then it is very likely that it is indeed over before it really started.

Do you know what the possible reasons are and how you could have prevented it from happening? Do you think that it is partially your fault or more his/hers and what are your reasons for believing it?

Have you done something to try to keep the relationship from breaking apart?

Whatever it was or who was at fault, it is too late now to try to mend it. Perhaps that you have learned a valuable lesson for the future and another relationship. Good luck.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Yes. It's not you, it's me...

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

You're in a relationship rollercoaster! 🎢 It sounds like you're craving that grand public love event, the big "I'm committed" flashing neon sign. If he's not ready for the public show just yet, it might be time for some lovebombing and a bit of patience. But if it's a non-negotiable for you, that's a red flag to chat about. Give it a heartbeat but stick to your values, love!💕

1

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If he is not willing to publicly declare his relationship with you, that means he is probably hiding your relationship from his main woman. Sorry, but that's the way it usually works when a guy keeps a girl as a secret on the side.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

"3 years in now and he said he loves everything about me and everything we’ve accomplished" Then it can't be over for him, all the contrary. But it can be over for you, for reasons I don't understand yet...  When you say public signs, you mean things like telling family & friends about your relationship or is there more to that? Also, during your discussions, do you both know the reasons involved? I mean does he understand why you want him to announce publicly your relationship? And do you understand why he does not announce it?

lightbulb27 · Answer

no, but the issue has to be dealt with. some guys are avoidant... due to fear.  fence sitting is a profession, been there, done that. push him off...

queenofcardio · Answer

3 years is more then enough time for him to know. I'm hopeful that he will reconsider

beenherebefore · Answer

I don't understand why he would be over. You just expressed what you want.

Abbycado · Answer

Yes. @hollyk21

Mariogirl09 · Answer

He doesn't want to marry you

Anonymous · Answer

If you have to ask, then probably

Anonymous · Answer

It's quite possible.

Zionne · Answer

with who?

Is it Over Between Us?

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