Everything that we do in life is a learning experience. It is meant to teach us something. We all have a destination to get there. You want to have knowledge and wisdom
Marriage will teach you so many different things. Marriage is a beautiful thing. If you know how to do it , you , there cannot be any egos
There can't be one person saying I'm right. I'm right all the time because that starts arguments. It's a fifty fifty deal
But the knowledge that you gain from a relationship from marriage is priceless
Because if you don't have boundaries , they will overstep them
If you don't have rules , they will overstep them
If you do not know how to become one with each other , then you're not one with yourself
There's 500 million things that you must know before you even get married. The first one is, who are you? Do you love yourself? You have to be able to do that before you can do anything else in this world or even love anybody else in this world that is the first step
lmao this is a sign i shouldn't get married
I mean, men have a history of changing after marriage and kids yk
That the one thing in relationships.\nThat make the odds\nMore like a fifty fifty that it will or will not work
If it was just one l person one mind. It would so much easier. Lmao. But boring
Any time you get 2 people together do you have to be compatible in every way? They have to know who they are in every way and vice versa
And that's the thing that both have to understand. Every day we change we grow and the trick is doing that together because if you can't grow together, then you grow apart and that's where all the negative starts.
I mean, the thing is, is you have to respect each other. You have to communicate. You have to understand love towards yourself. So you can understand it towards anybody else
You have to understand the true meaning of friendship of lover of becoming one with each other. That's hard to breakwhen you're capable of doing that when you do do that
And when you grow together every day and you laugh as you play and you laugh while you hold each other.\n And you both can feel that energy at the same time. It's kind of hard to break that apart.
But if you feel that at any given moment , you have to say something
Because the other person might not even know that they're doing it.
No I think marriage is a good thing, but it's like a job. You have to. You have to make it work if you really want it
I have this saying it's hard to be good sometime until your good so much it becomes you.
And it's easy to be bad because you don't have to care , you don't have to do anything you just take
You're right, they do change some of them do change. And that means that you should have got married in the first place, because a guy just doesn't change like that, not unless he wasn't all the way into the relationship, you have to understand 90 probably 5% of guys get into a relationship. Because all the benefits that come with it\n In their subconscious, they don't plan on staying there and any guy that has kids with a woman would do whatever it takes to stay with her.
That's what I mean when you get married or before you even get married, you have to know how to love yourself. That person has to know how to love themselves. So then that way, you both know how to love each other, because if that's not in the plan book, then it's not going to work, you have to have somebody that's committed to growing with you right alongside of you, in every way, otherwise it's not going to work. You have to be best friends. If you're not, it's not going to work, they have to know your boundaries if they don't, it's not going to work, you have to know that person inside and out, otherwise, it's not going to work. Marriage is a beautiful thing or it can be, but you have to be on the same page, you have to want the same things and you have to be best friends.
And the sad part is, even if you have all that you have 2 different brains, and you can't control one of them only yours so anything can happen at anytime. That's why you have to make sure that that person is that person that you want, that will commit, will go through the long haul. To make things work
I’ve been with my partner for over a year and the reward is that i get to be with the person that i love. There are definitely ups and downs and emotional meltdowns, but she’s the one that gets me. It feels pretty good being loved. We’re planning to get married as well for legal recognition and protections since we also live together, and also why not. But obviously if your partner is narcissistic , rude, irresponsible, immature etc… it’s pretty easy to say relationships and marriage have no rewards as you’re basically their mother now
i think its best i stay single
yeah thats part of the reason im never getting into a relationship lol
lmao
No.
Absolutely not.
With the right person and the right shared motivation marriage is a glorious thing… a daily celebration and fight for love to overcome every fucking thing the world hits you with.
The problem is all the trifling losers who mess around and cheat and tempt and lose sight of what love is. Those folks shouldn’t get married…
and the rewards from that is?
Basically all my struggles circle back to men in every way, how will a man help me with that?
then wdym?
As a relationship coach here to sprinkle some love magic, I'd say relationships and marriage are like life’s rollercoaster ride! 🎢 Sure, there's risk, but the thrill and rewards, like love, understanding, and support, are beyond worth it. Imagine having a partner who doubles your happiness and halves your worries. It's like a cozy blanket on a chilly night – pure bliss! 😘 Keep an open heart, and you'll see it's not just risk; it's a beautiful adventure!
Opinion
20Opinion
Yes if you both work together as a team , not the other way around , my ex use to be my partner until she decided to be selfish thinking she shouldn’t have to work and that I should be her walking ATM machine , when she enjoys spending money like there is no tomorrow, so kicking her to the curb where she belongs was the best thing I did for myself , Inwill only be with a girl that wants to work with me , not against me
and the rewards of marriage is…?
and how is that a reward?
do you seriously have no friends? hobbies? interests at all? outside of ur love life? thats so sad
how?
i think ill stay single, not much im missing out on
yupp
u Anyone who has been in a good relationship or marriage would not need to ask the question. Yes, the rewards far exceed the time and energy required to maintain the relationship.
then i think ill stay single
You should.
why?
I've always thought that it's a waste of time to be honest, how people waste your time, and all the effort you put in gets thrown away, how you constantly get hurt, but with the right partner? It can be a beautiful thing, honestly I nearly gave up on relationships, thought I would be single forever with the dating pool being so sub par, and useless, and then my met my partner now, who truth be told I thought would be good just for a time and then go to shit again, turns out it's been years, and it's still worth every risk, every vulnerability, every effort, the right person will always be worth it, you just need to find your person, and a relationship, and a marriage would be the best choice you've ever made, the love and commitment makes up for every bad day.
No thank you, i dont see that as something positive in my life tbh
If you have difficulty opening up, then nothing I will say will make you change your mind. I am in a separation right now, having to sell the house and all. Yet I do feel like I saw things of life thanks to that relationship that I otherwise wouldn´t have seen.
The brave are in the arena getting their asses kicked, the cowardly stand by the sides justifying themselves. Give up your emotional safety and you might get your heart broken, but you will also have lived. Stay in your box, fill up your days with hobbies and you might miss out on true connections.
wdym opening up? Why would i need a true connection or experiences?
For the simple reason that we have evolved over thousands of years to be a social mammal. We aren't built to be alone, even if we all sometimes wish we were.
Absolutely not , anyone agreeing in my opinion has never had a “good” relationship.
The path is rarely easy but with every challenge it can grow stronger even though many will want to take another direction along the way.
Very rarely people just ‘know’ how to be a good partner / wife / husband , and the cold hard truth is that we will F*** them up or simply make hordendouse mistakes that cause them to need to end but for those that truly desire to then they will learn to BE better as a human firstly and then as a partner.
The rewards are absolutely worth the effort , nothing easy will ever truly be worthwhile though.
And those rewards are…?
You need me to list all the possible benefits of being in a relationship? Well I’m not going to do that , if your not mature enough to understand what they could be then perhaps you need to go out and gain some perspective
No just say a few, the most meaningful.
Sadly I fear the most meaningful to me wouldn’t even occur to you or carry any weight. Thanks for sharing though , good luck !
So there aren't any… okayy
Clearly you mis-understand , go troll somewhere else
Yet u can't name a single one…
With the right partner it is a reward. A good partner is like a best friend but better. Someone you can depend on in thick and thin, someone that makes your life better and theirs in return but in a deeper and more intimate way. Imagine having your best friend, your hottest crush and the love of your life all rolled into one.
that rarely happens tho, majority settle
not really, most people aren't with their dream partner
Yeah and ur dream person is also a person
The benefits are you get to hang out with someone amazing who treats you like the most wonderful person in the world. Plus you get to mess around with someone attractive without feeling slutty or running the risks of hooking up with multiple partners.
ill js stay single
If you would prefer to live an inward-looking life devoid of investment in nurturing anything outside your skin, then go for it. Many have died from lack of water, but none from lack of love. Plenty of people have and plenty more will. It seems a high risk strategy... the high risk being that on your death bed your final thoughts are 'I wonder what that was all about'?
But i won't be? Love is nothing more than a waste of time
There are a lot of ways into this. Religion. Philosophy. Your personal since of value. etc. etc.
In August 2025, I was told I had a one in three chance of dying. I reflected far more on what I had brought into what i had built in the world through loving relationships with my wife and others and raising two children than I did my hard work, career achievements, wealth accumulation.
David Brooks writes for the NYT about your 'CV/resume' self and your 'eulogy' self. Personally I think you should try to achieve on both fronts to have lived a good life. He is Christian and reflects his values, but his writing is not religious. I commend his book 'The Road to Character' or his NYTimes column, such as this: www.nytimes.com/.../...-the-moral-bucket-list.html
i think im fine, but thanks
Yes. More so for men than for women. Men have far more to lose in divorce and women have have too much to gain. Also, once married, people think the woman has pledged herself to her husband in return for him to keep her and their children safe but that isn’t true anymore. The man is apparently obligate to do everything or else she’ll threaten to divorce him.
Happy wife happy life should be happy spouse happy house
You can sign a prenup. Men kill their wives because they met a new woman lol. Ah yes a man needs to do the dishes once in a while but is too lazy! Can y'all take accountability for once? Ofc a woman is going to divorce u if ur incapable of doing anything urself, she actually does something about the problem and not just sweep it under the rug to regret it later in life.
What kind of woman would willingly agree to sign a prenup? And I have never heard of any men killing their wives because they met a new woman. When have women ever taken accountability for anything they’ve done? I’ve never even heard a woman truly say the word sorry to a man before. This is why I’m never getting married 🤷🏻♂️ and honestly, this should bother women because the longer I remain a bachelor, the more free I am compared to married men
You do realise YOU chose ur own wife right? Chose someone who’s mature enough to sign one.
And ofcource you haven't. Men dont care about that.
We are literally blamed when we’re raped and killed.
Well i have heard a woman say sorry to a man🤷♀️ Never from a man tho…
Okay have fun, bet you’ll become one of those who go for 18 yr old girls
🤣 why would I want to chose my own wife when I can choose to be happy instead?
You tell me, I don't know why people chose to be in a relationship, im simply saying if u were to get married choose one who wants a prenup, ain't that hard to comprehend.
Do you honestly know any women who would actually sign one?
And I don’t know why people choose to be in relationships either. I’ve argued with many who defend having relationships. I think they’re only pretending to be happy. 🤷🏻♂️
I don't know maybe, i haven't asked every woman in my life if they would sign a prenup or if they had, its a little personal tbh, but u can ask around if u want🤷♀️
Everyones different ig🤷♀️
I would, but I don’t have the time to do that. I’m too busy working to give my cat a better life, while continuing my Christian themed urban fantasy book series.
Ok ur choice🤷♀️
Good 4 y
Thank you 🙂
Yes, marriages aren't how people say or show in movies, marriage is nothing but stress and disappointment with little to no rewards, which is why marriage is not worth it in the long run, even when you do get married there's a chance that he or she (most likely she) will leave you, half of marriages do end in divorce after all, but it is your life so do as you please.
For people that are not marriage-worthy, sure. Not everyone is marriage material.
People are more inclined to assign responsibility for their errors to the institution of marriage than to themselves.
so whats the reward?
It completely depends on the two people involved. Two high quality people will have very little risk and very high reward, while two low quality people will have very high risk and very low reward.
wdym high or low quality people?
ah okay, so what is a high quality person?
okay
That's way oversimplified lol
@LazerBean no one is better than anyone else. We all have our issues. People who appear to "have it together" on the surface are often not as well off as they seem
I agree that we are all sinners who need Jesus, and that we all have our issues, and that not everyone who appears together is actually so. However, some people are simply better equipped for marriage than others. And some people simply need more time to mature and grow before they reach marriage quality, by no fault of their own.
You lost me at "need Jesus." lol
That's just what lonely people or people who have daddy issues usually said.
why?
Relationships are for figuring out who you do and don't want to marry. You don't just know automatically. You just figure out if somebody is a piece of shit or not before you start letting them into your life. It's not that hard to figure out.
It kinda is, men are masters at manipulating and have a history of changing after marriage or kids.
If you don't marry because of love - don't do it.
And a relationship only because of benefits or risks are also wrong reasons.
m Finish highschool, kid, and hope you will grow a brain.
so tell me what the rewards are then?
There is a saying which applies here: "If you don't get it, explaining it wouldn't really help." It's like trying to describe colors to a blind person, pointless. Maybe you should ask your parents?
so there aren't any, got it
Hey again Imjustagirl15. You're either not 15 or way too concerned about this long term stuff at the moment.
Why?
And why do u keep calling me that?
Relationships, no. Marriage, under current laws in many jurisdictions for those who have assets and strong earning potential, yes.
So then dont get married or sign a prenup? y'all complain about divorces all the time when 99% its your fault.
Sadly yes but it’s such a part of our tribal nature to prove our love so I’ll likely marry.
so ur gonna settle?
Only lonely losers say that to cope.
why? what are the rewards?
so its just unnecessary risk?
how can one be a drama queen in a relationship? and whats the point of a relationship if there's no reward?
It varies. My grandparents were married for 70 years and very happy together.
You think love was the reason ur grandparents stayed together…?
Yes, because I knew them very well and lived with them for months at a time.
you do realise at that time people didn't marry for love, they married because they had to, it was the norm in society. Women couldnt live without it and men werent really seen as providers if they didn't get married, maybe they fell inlove while being married🤷♀️
My grandparents married for love, they told me all about it. Believe it or not.
we’ll say so.
I don't know, I've never been in a relationship, nor married.
okay👍
It's a risk I'm willing to take
for what? what rewards or benefits?
high risk high reward
what reward?
I suppose that depends on who you marry.
Probably a man so i guess the answer is yes.
Are you really under 18?
says so right there hun!
how?
Nope I disagree with that
elaborate.
What is life without risk?
peaceful and nice
statistically yes
These days absolutely
wdym by that?
You need to earn a fortune and be arguably aesthetically perfect to start with so as to not fall foul of the MeToo statutes
Keep the money coming and still be in decent condition to avoid divorce
What is the reward for this set of challenges... sex (which I don't want), love (that I don't understand) and companionship (which friends and family provide or you can just be bought)
Yeah thats what we need to live comfortably in this world today. A house doesn't just cost 5 cents anymore.
Yeah exactly, u get it!
Yep 👍, especially for men
how?
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