What advice would you give to others about being in a long term relationship?

[Anonymous]

[Purpleronnie]

What immediately springs to mind for me is to point out that as each of the couple will change naturally as they mature and age and so too will their wants , needs , desires , attitude , influences and naturally their expectations which although people say they accept , they do so with a profound naivety over what this can mean. Nobody knows exactly what they will face in life , whether through their own choices , misfortune or by genetic imprint and how well we will cope or thrive and roll with the punches.
So the greatest advice I feel I could impart on anyone is pick a partner who is also there in a way you will need for all the lass than good times. That person needs to have substance and not just form. There will mostly likely be some very challenging times with relationships because “life” and how we change only those couples determined and tenacious enough will dig deep and make it work , most will gaze over the garden fence thinking that it shouldn’t be “this hard” but the reality is that nothing worth having is easy !

[Asker]

Really good advice! The whole, I hope they never change is ridiculous. People find new interests, new jobs, new hobbies, new friends, and they change with maturity...and the things is, we are all "allowed" to change and change our minds about things that once were important to us or that we want to be important now. So many too go for the superficial, but when you have a simple cold or something, do they even bother to check on you? If you mention something troubling you, are they dismissive...these are small red flags that can grow to big ones when the s--t hits the fan in your life, and it WILL hit the fan at some point, and like you said, you need someone who is going to be there.

[Purpleronnie]

Agreed , and if they trip and stumble over the small needs for support , comfort and care then wonder / worry over how they may respond when you need them to have your back and be dependable. You seem well grounded and logical , and thank you 😊 , it’s been an important perspective to gain. I’ve always said friends first and meant it , if your proposed partner can’t always be your friend they are not worthy of anything more… of course the pendulum swings both ways

[HawkPerception]

I can't stress enough the importance of communication. No matter what it is, tell them. You need to speak your mind whether it's good or bad. Otherwise you'll bottle things up until things become too much for you, and it causes a rift in your relationship.

Your partner is not a mind reader. Don't hope that they ever will be. If they did or said something which made you happy, let them know. If they did or said something which upset you, let them know. Tough conversations need to happen occasionally.

[sawno]

Completely agree except my ex was a mind reader haha. Adds the extra element that if you lie to her she will know instantly. But even with mind reading powers its not like the mind reading is vivid enough to resolve a conflict with, even then you still need communication.

[Nikki1989]

While love is the foundation, respect is the glue. Many long-term couples find that feelings of “love” can fluctuate depending on stress or life stages, but respect must be constant.

[Nikki1989]

Note: Don't listen to the bitter trolls on here. Just because they are failing one of life's basic requirements doesn't mean it will happen to you.

[DishLady]

Know who you’re with before you get in bed with them (both literally and metaphorically).

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my mission is to sprinkle a little love and wisdom on your journey! Long-term relationships are like fine wine; patience and care make them better. Prioritize communication, embrace change, and keep the spark alive. Surprise date nights or cheeky texts can work wonders. Remember, love isn't lovebombing; it's growing together, flaws and all. 😘✨

[ohsheeT]

Key is communication
There cannot be egos involved in a relationship

Your together because of love, you're together to build each other to make each other. The best you can boss me become. And if they're always to be somebody , that's right , then that's never gonna work

Do not disrespect each other by doing something that you know the other one would not do

Be best friends
Be true and real lovers become one with each other. Always make it about the other person
Sex is more than sex is meant to teaches something about becoming one with each other. Once you learn that , you can become one with others , one with the universe and one with god

That is the moral of the story because that is pure spiritual love, and that's what we are all meant to do. And that's what real sex will teach you.\nBut you have to know how to become one with each other

[AviatorTom]

Every relationship has its ups and downs. When things look bad in a long term relationship, think about what tomorrow will look like, how good it will be.

[sawno]

Be honest and always assume the other person wants to fix a disagreement rather than fight. Because in my last relationship thats what it was built upon (next to all the positive things like our love for each other of course).

So whenever there was an issue that upset us we both never assumed that the other meant poorly. We just took a moment to calm down however long that was, I think the record was 6 hours but that was rare. And then we aimed to find a solution that worked for both and healed each others pain.

If you can trust each other to always be in that mindset it makes resolving things so much better.

[lightbulb27]

Do it,

Enjoy your free time to yourself until such time that you find.

Choose based upon values, goals, stress level, compatibility.

there's some work involved, so be open to that. Compromise, negotiation... listening, communicating... are skills that will need developed and exercised.

Don't bail out immediately when you feel stress, be open to the exploration. As well though, if your core values are on the line, time to get some help or move on with the learning and discovery about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Character and communication is paramount. Jobs can be won or lost, money can be made and spent but character is permanent. Communication STARTS with you. If you have no intention of communicating don't waste the other persons time. Also communication is a two person game. Don't waste your time with a person who has no intention of communicating back. Life is short, too short for f***ery. Relationships are definitely worth it but only if the other person is willing to match your effort.

And this goes for BOTH genders.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Always remember to practice empathy. The more time you spend with someone, the easier it is to think you just by default know how the other person feels about stuff.

Pay close attention to your partner the "game" of relationships never stops

[Zack-Bann]

The grass is not greener on the other side


As a chronically single person I have had the privilege of being with many women over the years


But ultimately I’m my own date to the ball


And I would trade it all for a true “ride or die” partner

[Alex_Bright]

Stay curious about each other. Make sure both people can fully express themselves, and both know how to do it properly.

One of the best things in life, but not easy.

[JohnKebab]

To all the guy's reading this post here's what I've learned if you're planning on having a long term relationship. Women don't care about love, they only care about protection and money, so when you've been with her for a long time and think she loves you, she's going to betray and leave you, either for her own personal agenda or some religious based theories.

[Ava-ryday]

I am not a professional at this still i just have one advice. If u have a issue. and when i say a issue i mean a real one not small ones PLEASE) then tell your partner as soon as possible. if u dont have any but start to have later that means all that are not that important and can be solved. DONT HURRY into taking any decision. ANY. and also look at other person's feeling other than only yours please.

[molonski2]

Communication , and there will be down times , in those times , consolidate don't play , work though those times.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

By default? Something universal? No, I have nothing to add that is not already widely spread. Plus, I believe in trial & error lol

[Twalli]

The fire and excitement you have when your relationship will not last. Some dates will be just to hang out, nothing exciting. That doesn't mean your relationship is not going well. You're just more comfortable with each other.

[insatiable_curiosity]

Give SLACK: Silliness, love, acceptance, communication, and kindness.

[exitseven]

Don't be closed off. Allow yourself to share your feelings

[disgustingweebtrash]

Compromise, accepting faults and forgiveness are key

[Asker]

Those are good ones. I think sometimes people expect their partner to be perfect, but if you can recognize their faults, and your own, an LTR can be far less contentious.

[msc545]

Manage your expectations carefully since this is going to end long before you want it to..

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure, I've never been in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cherish each moment treasure the time you have with your partner. Whether in good times or not so good times i still try doing that with Danielle

[queenofcardio]

It takes a lot of work to keep it going

[itsannalee]

Don’t waste your time.

[dudeinohio]

Communication is vital.

[Nice222]

Get out while you can.

[Unycorn]

Communication is key