What is your best advice to make a relationship work long term?

Question

Mine is pretty stereotypical, but communication. Without communication, it won't work out. I also recommend first being friends and then turning into lovers. I was friends for 3 years before I started dating my current boyfriend. We have gotten to know each other in a lot of different ways because of that.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

It all starts by picking someone suitable. That means you have to vet them based on their morals, values and life goals - even if it means accepting less in other areas (which is almost guaranteed to be necessary). The main criteria that determines whether your relationship can last the challenges of life is whether your morals, values, and life goals are in alignment.

Everyone is going to face challenges in their life, and these will stress your relationship, so if that relationship isn't built on a rock solid foundation, it's never going to survive.

Unfortunately, most people today pick partners on infatuation, and then wonder why things don't last. You can't use short-term criteria and expect long-term outcomes.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

open communication based on "I messages"... we talk about our feelings in different situations without using "you" word... we share our perspective and then listen to the perspective of our partner... we try to understand how our partner sees the world and how it differs from our perspective... it's the point when we can try to create solutions, negotiate, and compromise...

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

Communication like you said is key.
Physical intimacy is also very important. If that's neglected then things are probably not going to work out long term unless the couple are actively waiting until marriage for sex.
Lastly, quality time. Making sure to spend as much time together as possible especially if the relationship is long distance.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Don't expect every day to be like an ice cream social or a day in the park. Don't expect every day to be filled with things that are new and exciting. Don't expect your partner to always be on their best behavior. Don't keep an accounting that compares all of your efforts to the efforts of your partner. Recognize that you are a flawed, imperfect person and there are things about you that your partner will be forced to tolerate. Be prepared to have conflict and to be challenged. Don't run away the first time you have a disagreement. Have realistic expectations for what you will receive and what you will need to give to make a relationsahip work.

Finchie40 · Answer

She is always right and he is always wrong , Simple lol

DishLady · Answer

Be patient even when you're in a fight. Don't push each other when you're already down.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

In this context, I can't have any advice since there is no clear issue presented, it's a generic question you ask, disconnected from who people are, so I can't relate.

I believe in trial and error through subjective, personal experience.

Everything else is, to me, words on a page, babbling from us, wannabe coaches or wannabe pupils, in life, in love, in whatever. Momentary coaches because it feels good to be like we have something useful to share. Our words shared might be clever or elaborated, but I don't consider them meaningful, as they're just the words of someone unrelated, us, which applies (maybe) to our own experience.

But experience is singular, personal, and much too intricate to be transferable to anyone, especially not in the form of advice, in my eyes.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Commitment. Too many people care about this or that. He doesn't talk about feelings. She doesn't put out whenever I want. Etc. What matters is commitment. Knowing that your partner is there for you through the thick and thin. Through sickness and health. Through the Spring and Winter. This is the most important thing to a lasting relationship and fulfillment. The scarcity and hardship will come. You need to know that your partner will stick through it with you. If not the relationship will not last. When taking an oath before god and your community meant something this was the purpose of marriage vows. Now you have to find other signifiers.

sawno · Answer

Be yourself from. day 1, don't pretend your better than you are. Don't act different because you expect that person to love you more. Because that way they love you for you, they may even love you expecting you to play it up like all others and then discover that your actually that way along the lines. It forms deep real bonds and makes sure people your not wasting time on people your not actually all that compatible with.

natured · Answer

You will never know a person to the fullest is my advice, so be ready to always discover new sides of them.
But like you said, communication is the only WAY to actually make a relationship work.
Also, when you get to a certain age, you are who you are you won't be able to change your partner no matter what you do...

Miristheiss · Answer

Find someone that you share core values with and the same life goals.

Keep dating them. Don't stop trying and relax once you have a commitment. Keep dating each other, doing things, keep looking nice for each other and trying to win their heart.

HighValue · Answer

If you are happy in the relationship, don't ever ask for anyone else's opinions or advice.

Also, don't take advice from women because the majority of them intentionally give bad advice that harm people's relationships and make them low quality and undesirable in the future too.

Blunky · Answer

It's funny because even though communication is the most common answer, it's still the most common issue in relationships.

Abbycado · Answer

I could never do it, but if I was forced to, I’d plan on one big trip per year (at least) to meet and spend quality time with him.

QuestionObsession · Answer

Communication does not mean shit if you don't know what to communicate. Complaining and bikering can also be seen as communicating. Criticism can also be seen as communicating.

The one and only way to make a relationship last, is to spend enough months/ years understanding yourself first. And then going for a partner who feels right. And even then it is not a guarantee that it will last. But that is the closest one can get to making it last.

dragoblack · Answer

Friends to relationship do have a higher chance of working out, but the most common mistake i see in relationships is, they don't treat eachother as people... that and lack of gaining emotional intelligence, because they handle all disagreements with, yelling hitting and/or throwing things... like monkeys.

jshm2 · Answer

Communication doesn't mean shit if you can't even understand, or have no empathy. It's why most relationships go short term, or fail outright.

You need to grow out of the naïve mindset, that relationships are as you see in the movies or read in literature - or can be stereotypical.

Relationships be they business, personal, contractual, family or others; must be properly cultivated and mutual.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

Fine someone you could tolerance for the rest of your life lol after so long they become your best friend and you pick on each other find someone who can get on your nerves but you wouldn't have it any other way

worldscolide · Answer

Communication and honesty. Those are the foundation of my marriage, which in 3weeks is 10 years old.. We have been together for 12 years total

Caroline91 · Answer

Make sure your basic values align. Then, it helps a lot if you honestly really, really like each other. I mean like who this person is in their heart of hearts.

Tamera952 · Answer

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, …. BLOWJOBS. Oral sex skills, and the willingness to practice often, keeps it going strong, for long.

OneViewpoint · Answer

My best advice would be to adopt a definition of long term that means 3 months. You will never have a problem with long term relationships.

NicholasRedone · Answer

@laureenvo both to be each other's first - lol if only folks had each waited lol 😂😆 for their 20s you know - to me, people rush through life seriously 😑😳

Anonymous · Answer

My only advice is not to waste your time with ldr, it won't work.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Don't worry, Luareen! You didn't make any mistakes.

Likestorizz · Answer

Mention everything before you start the relationship also make the other person do the same so there won't be any surprises

genericname85 · Answer

make sure you spend at least 2 hours each week talking about your current individual and mutual goals in life to keep your lifes aligned so you don't drift apart.

soe11 · Answer

Divorce to night jobs. Work only five days a week. No more then two hours overtime. Finally you just discus with your partner first.

katiesmuff · Answer

I have to agree that communication is the key to a successful relationship and long life together.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I aim to listen twice and talk once… goal is to say yea most the time or find a way to say yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Work out what they are comfortable giving you, and what you are comfortable giving them. It's an unwritten negotiation. If there's a match and you both can accommodate each others needs, you've got a chance at something long term.

glennos89 · Answer

You are right for sure! Communication, honesty and being able the thrust eachother are key elements for a succesfull relationship

exitseven · Answer

You have to be honest and you have to be willing to put in the work to sustain the relationship. It is not all rainbows and unicorns.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Trust and communication are vital. And I agree, being friends first usually works out great.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Stay loyal, don’t stop talking and try a variety of things in the bedroom

LiamS95 · Answer

Great communication, communication and communication.

Eempriyanka · Answer

It has to be about love from the beginning.. no friends or wedding.. it has to start from love at first sight and fall in love at last..

Manuelwe · Answer

Know when your right and let them think they are right. Until they find out they was wrong

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

stay away from eachother a lot

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

Loyalty, honesty and friendship

wkhan_87 · Answer

LDR is never good enough actually

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Don’t get in one

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Finally another sane person.

Jay-_- · Answer

Loyalty respect and mutuality

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Good food. Wine. Lots of sex.

Becky93 · Answer

Communication and trust.

Credentialmayhem · Answer

Communication

Akashrangwani1997 · Answer

Give each other freedom

Anonymous · Answer

Stay single 😎

6annas · Answer

Respect

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