I found out that my partner watches women’s videos on YouTube and m**bates to ‘em. when I confronted, he said it was easy bc I was busy or asleep?

[Anonymous]

[Tamera952]

“Woman’s videos” on “YouTube” ? …. what the hell does that mean? And are ya sure it’s YouTube? …Regardless, so what? Didn’t you already know that’s what he’s doing? You can’t tell me you’re surprised. It’s very normal, and not a big deal. Guys are biologically hardwired for visual stimulation.

So, what’s the big deal? He’s not ever going to stop. You can’t (and shouldn’t want to) control this. If you interrogate him about it, he’s going to hide it from you, and/or lie about it. You should be comfortable in the fact that whatever he watches and jacks off to, is not a reflection on you. It’s not about you. It has nothing to do with how he regards you at all. It’s not a binary choice. It’s not a matter of substituting one for the other, because you weren’t around or available—so that may be what he said, but that’s not true at all.

Plus, it serves you no good to become that ‘girl’ that is jealous of him looking at any and all chicks online—being mad at him and at an imaginary, amorphous, female foe. I think it’d be better if you encouraged it, acted unbothered and cool, and conveyed a cool confidence showing him that you’re down with whatever he wants to look at, and don’t overreact, making it a ‘thing’.

[Asker]

As a woman, I was genuinely saddened to read this message. Because the issue is not that he masturbates to women on the internet. I masturbate too — everyone does. The problem is that in broad daylight, while I’m sitting in the other room, he says he’s tired and going to lie down, leaves my side, and then goes and masturbates in there… that, I’m sorry, is perverted

[Tamera952]

Well good, I’m glad to hear that the issue isn’t him masturbating to women on the internet, because I for sure thought that was your main problem and complaint. So my entire response was tailored to address that, and that alone.
As far as you now saying he is disingenuous about his intent when leaving the room, and so on…I don’t know what you call that. I am not sure what that’s all about, but I don’t think it’s ‘perverted’ (in and of itself) …maybe it was some way to intentionally piss you off or spite you? Not sure. Were you guys fighting at all prior to that?

[sawno]

If you don't want him doing that there is a very easy fix, if your guy has a high drive and wants his needs met and he was sincere about the reason that makes you need to become more available to him. If you are free use so to speak where he's allowed to interrupt you when he needs it then this excuse completely goes away.

At that point you'd know if he was honest, because chances are it wasn't that at all. He could have looked at your pictures or perhaps you made him a sexy video some time he could have watched. Its probably because the male brain craves visual variety especially if a guy is used to that. Doesn't have to mean anything negative if he's eager to have sex with you when your available though.

[Stevepro68]

Everyone masterbates or they lie that they don't. As long as it is not impairing your sex life together. Getting jealous over you tube women is like getting jealous over the Victoria secret catalog. You need to explore your own feelings of insecurity and why that may be threatening to you. All though, opportunity does have an impact on cheating. You tube women aren't exactly accessible. Fantasy is not a threat to your relationship and it is not referendum on your desirability. Making your partner feel guilty about masterbation is a recipe for deception and that does impact relationships.. Nothing is hotter or better for your sex life than having these sessions together.

[Asker]

Da F? I also masturbate. That’s normal. Masturbating while your partner sitting in the other room is not normal. Wtf?

[Stevepro68]

Is it? I'm not trying to argue with you. I am asking you to think are you really open to sex at any time he asks. 90% 60% or is it 20%. Your hand is never going to turn you down. So are you complaining that he masturbates or complaining that he didn't try you 1st or that he is masturbating to other women when you are available?

[AI Opinion]

Exploring the ups and downs of relationships is my jam here! Finding out about your partner’s solo activities can come as a surprise. 🙈 If it's crossing your boundaries, it’s time for an open chat. Communication's your best friend, especially when someone’s wandering into territory that feels like a red flag. If his honesty falls short, sharing your feelings might help you both find a solution that respects everyone's needs. 🕵️‍♀️ Remember, it’s all about creating trust and understanding. Keep the love flowing! ❤️

[AviatorTom]

Do you two have a good relationship? You know, masturbating is not always about sex. It's a way of relaxing and removing tension.

[Asker]

I believed we had a good relationship until I discovered messages showing that, while I was crying at a funeral, he was texting his ex that he still thought about her. Then, just half an hour later, he messaged me saying how lucky he was to have me in his life and that he loved me :)

[AviatorTom]

And you're upset because he loves you?

[Asker]

I’m not upset. I’m disgusted. Bc trying to juggle many women at the same time is just sick. You can see other people if you talked and agreed on doin that with your partner but doing this is cheep. If you’re feeling that deprived of attention, I don’t get why you’d even want to be with someone (exclusive relationship)

[In_Trance]

So what's your question

[Anonymous]

That's weird behavior.

[Anonymous]

It's not really fair to you.

[Abbycado]

Alright

[Anonymous]

😂😂😂