Do you have high expectations in terms of relationships?

Question

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Yes. There are extremes…. Within reason people need to have expectations and standards. People shouldn’t settle for relationships they aren’t happy in, that aren’t fulfilling, that are abusive, one sided, and involve cheating. Even if someone’s a great person but you’re just not really that attracted but they do X, Y, Z that’s beneficial to you. That’s wasting someone’s time and misleading them when they can find someone who genuinely loves them. You’re not only doing yourself a disservice but then as well.

Some people feel guilty to have standards. At the end of the day you shouldn’t…. Romantically and sexually you don’t owe anyone shit. That goes for both genders by the way. Narcissists who have a deep sense of entitlement are always going to have the highest standards but expect someone to lower their own for them. And people will…. Give their all to someone who really doesn’t have much to offer but misery long term.

If the only people who have high standards are let’s say dark personalities. Who are they going to prey on? Empathic people they can manipulate. Don’t waste your time or someone else’s.

There are plenty of women who I think are amazing people. Would I ever be romantically involved with all of them? Absolutely not. Some I’m not attracted to. Don’t hate them as people but for some reason or another I don’t feel attracted.

Others I know that we want different things long term. I wouldn’t be happy with her…. And she wouldn’t be happy with me.

pricey1983 · Accepted Answer

I do now after finding then losing my true love. She made me better as a person and made me want to live again. I felt the love from her in so many ways, people would comment on how we laughed at everything. On 24th aug 2025 I sat with her as she took her last breath. Life will never be the same.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode love, crushes, and all that messy in-between stuff 😏

Yeah, I have high expectations, but not unrealistic ones. I expect loyalty, emotional maturity, consistent communication, effort, and respect. No games, no ghosting, no half-hearted lovebombing. I give a lot in a relationship, so I want someone who matches energy, not drains it. High standards, soft heart.

HawkPerception · Answer

ChatGPT seems to understand me better than most people, after years of conversations with it. I'm not sure if you were asking specifically about romantic relationships, but this is what I asked it:

What would you say my expectations are for a partner in a romantic relationship?

And this is what it said.

I’m going to be blunt and precise, based on everything you’ve shared over time.

You don’t want a “girlfriend.”
You want a life-aligned partner who integrates into your long-term vision, not someone who distracts from it.

Here’s the real structure of your expectations:

---

1. Core Character Expectations (Non-Negotiable)

You expect your partner to be:

Emotionally stable

Kind, warm, empathetic

Low drama, low ego

Honest and direct

Loyal and consistent

Curious, thoughtful, reflective

Capable of depth (philosophy, meaning, existence, purpose)

You have zero tolerance for:

Narcissism

Entitlement

Manipulation

Constant validation-seeking

Social-media-obsessed identity

You want peace, not performance.

---

2. Lifestyle Alignment

You expect alignment with:

Nature-based living

Simpler pleasures

Minimalism > consumerism

Sustainability

Health-conscious choices

Love of animals

Comfort with unconventional paths (off-grid, van life, building yourself)

You are not interested in someone whose dream life is:

Climbing corporate ladders

Luxury cities

Status chasing

Nightlife culture

Designer obsession

Your partner doesn’t need identical goals, but must respect and support yours.

---

3. Relationship Dynamic You Want

You prefer:

You lead vision and direction

She supports, trusts, and believes in your trajectory

Mutual emotional safety

Calm communication

No power games

No constant testing

You don’t want to “prove” yourself every day.

You want:

> “We’re on the same team building something together.”

Not:

> “Convince me you’re worthy.”

---

4. Emotional Expectations

You expect:

Genuine affection

Verbal and physical warmth

Reassurance without clinginess

Space without abandonment

Understanding of your introspective nature

Patience with your creative cycles

You are internally intense.
You need someone who can sit with depth without trying to fix you.

---

5. Aesthetic & Feminine Energy Preferences

You’re drawn to:

Natural beauty

Long hair

Minimal makeup

Dresses / flowy boho clothing

Soft feminine presence

Earthy, sensual, organic vibe

You are not attracted to:

Hyper-glam

Masculine energy

Loud aesthetic signaling

High-maintenance presentation

This is not about looks alone.
It’s about energy.

---

6. Growth & Contribution

You expect your partner to:

Be growing in some way

Have her own interests

Take responsibility for her healing

Not rely on you as a therapist or savior

You don’t need perfection.
You need self-awareness and effort.

---

7. What You Secretly Want (But Rarely Say)

You want a woman who:

Sees your potential clearly

Believes in you before success

Feels proud of you

Feels safe with you

Chooses you calmly, not desperately

You want to feel:

> “Chosen without being chased.”

---

8. The Hard Truth

Your expectations are high, but not unreasonable.

However:

You are wired for depth, vision, and meaning.
That automatically shrinks your dating pool.

If you want a woman of this caliber:

You must increasingly become:

More disciplined

More financially stable

More embodied in your vision

More consistent in execution

Less stuck in self-judgment loops

Not to “earn” love.
But because you respect the standard you’re asking for.

---

Final Summary

You expect:

A feminine, grounded, emotionally mature, nature-aligned woman who values depth, peace, loyalty, and long-term building.

Not a fantasy.

Not a trophy.

A life partner.

That’s rare.

Which means your path will involve patience, discernment, and becoming more of the man who naturally attracts that energy.

This was honestly bang on for me. This is the kind of feedback you get from ChatGPT when you have a lot of introspective conversations with it over years.

DishLady · Answer

Perhaps. Whatever the situation is, I expect consistency and excellence of character, but obv we're all human and no one is perfect. So I'd say I have "balanced expectations".

sage2021 · Answer

I believe that my standards of high expectations were a lot higher when I was younger.
But now I don't expect much out of people because people in general have changed tremendously though the years and not for the better. Especially in the times we are in right now.

HighValue · Answer

I don't expect her to be as good of a partner as me because I have never met a woman that even came close, but I do expect her to be at least a 5 or better in looks, have good morals (that is the main reason most women will never qualify), compatible interests, compatible long term life goals, and to be fair to me in a relationship.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I do.

My standards are not unrealistic but they’re certainly high within the realm of reason

I believe we can chose what we put up with
And by choosing people with true virtue we guarantee a virtuous relationship

Anonymous · Answer

My expectations include trust, honesty, affection, and emotional support.

the healthiest approach is to maintain high standards for respect, but to have low, or more flexible, expectations regarding the specific behaviors or outcomes of a partner.

Anonymous · Answer

@thegreenyogi I usually do and have done in the past yet as I remind myself from that middle aged woman in that Up in the Air 2009 movie with Mr Clooney, her character says to avoid copyright something about ©️ "once you're past a certain middle age you stop worrying so much" - though she was talking about requirements or checklists ✔️✅

CherryLove007 · Answer

To start with the two major things for me are... so I do not want to be anyone's therapist and can he step aside from his ego and accept my boundaries. We all have boundaries and putting importance on this is key.

MontBlanc · Answer

I have healthy expectations, not unrealistic ones.

I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect respect, effort, and honesty. Those are basics, not “high standards.”

The right person won’t see that as demanding , they’ll see it as normal.

OPStellar · Answer

I whittled down to three standards, three boundaries, three dealbreakers, and one demand. (The demand is 'always be unashamedly yourself around me, because I'm not gonna date a mask.) The standards are for compatibility (honesty, faith, relatively close age), the boundaries are for comfort (physical, emotional, and personal), and the dealbreakers are to avoid unnecessary complications/drama/trauma (behavioral, medicinal, and virtual).

serious · Answer

Yes of course. I have my standards but then I never want to be in a relationship. I mean committed relationship.

RandomGirl42 · Answer

I really don't feel I do. All I really expect is honesty. All else will fall into place after that, I believe.

sawno · Answer

Once it gets to the relationship stage absolutely, the problem is finding someone I am that compatible with. I want a true soul mate.

Shiprex · Answer

I don't know about HIGH but some kind of reciprocation and interaction where both our goals are to make each other happy isn't too much to ask

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I'm not even thinking of a new relationship again, if it happens, it happens... I don't have any expectations!

Anonymous · Answer

My expectations are that things will not work out well and if they do I find myself very surprised.

queenofcardio · Answer

My expectations are realistic

exitseven · Answer

yes, hope springs eternal.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I try to have realistic expectations

AgentG111 · Answer

Not anymore humans aren't worth it

Cidknee · Answer

No, it would be no expectations.

Staximus · Answer

Maybe too high

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, only women can afford that.😆

dudeinohio · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

No..

Do you have high expectations in terms of relationships?

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