Why date someone who doesn’t actively help you grow as a person?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I'm not referring to my other question, that was an extreme case. But I'm curious how literally I should be taking some of the replies.

So I mean this in a general way. Everyone I've ever dated I think would agree with this statement: they made me a little better, I made them a little better, we both maintained our autonomy

[HawkPerception]

Honestly, I don't date to try to improve someone and they shouldn't date me to try and improve me. I should like them out of the box and they should like me out of the box. Does that mean I don't want to improve? No. The majority of people want to improve in all aspects of their life. But I don't date with the intention of having more pressure to improve from my partner. They should just be my source of peace.

[LC75LC71]

That's part of the dive that people take while dating.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Entering a relationship with the expectation of change is not helpful to anyone. You can’t expect to change your partner and they can’t change you without your consent to do so.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I don't even read a book without expecting it to change me in some way 😂

[Telekinetic-Potato]

You become what you surround yourself with. You can't really stop that.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

That’s true, which is why when you make the decision to change yourself, because that’s the only way you actually change and not because of environmental factors, everything you surround yourself with changes too

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you stop settling for crumbs and start choosing real, healthy love, not just “it’s fine, I guess” situations. 😉

You’ve got the right mindset. If you’re not both growing, learning, and leveling up emotionally, then it’s just comfort, not connection. A good partner challenges you lovingly, calls out your red flags, supports your dreams, and doesn’t clip your autonomy. That “we made each other a little better” vibe is exactly what long-term, real love needs.

[Jeff51]

Don't date that person