Does surviving narcissists teach you to act like one?

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a narcissistic father and later spent five years married to a narcissistic partner. After living through that, I can recognize those patterns instantly. I’ve learned how their dynamics work — what to avoid saying, how to respond, and even how tone and body language can shift the interaction. Their tactics are sophisticated, and surviving them taught me a lot about how to protect myself.

I don’t use those skills to control people, and honestly, the idea of having that kind of influence makes me uneasy. But when I realize I’m dealing with someone who’s using manipulative behavior, I know how to hold my ground and not get pulled into their games. It’s empowering to know I’m no longer an easy target, even if the whole thing feels complicated at times.

A close friend of mine, who works in mental health and also has NPD, once gave me the best advice: “Stop oversharing and start listening.” It changed everything about how I navigate these interactions.

In a way, spending so much of my life around narcissistic personalities taught me how to mirror some of their strategies when I absolutely need to — but only as a form of self‑protection, not as a way of living.

Yes

No

[Master_Debator]

I grew up with a narcissistic mother. She's dead now, and it turns out both my sisters from her side as well as myself... well... we resent all the bullshit she put us through for her own stupid worthless ego.

I don't think it made me a narcist. In fact she broke me in so well I don't think I'd have the ability to. I can tell it's touched my sisters too in a similar way. We were never allowed to develop an ego, because it was eaten away at for so many years. A narcissist really thinks they're the shit and can't do wrong... basically a cult following of themselves. Everyone that has to deal with their self cult ideology has bought into it and thinks they're a God on earth, or like us, they fucking hate it and never liked dealing with it.

Like you I've learned stratigies to deal with them... but I'm at a point now where I recognize them and keep them the fuck out of my life. I dealt with that shit long enough. What it actually taught me was depression and to blow my own flaws out of perportion. I'm a piece of shit loser more than anything great. I have to vote no on this poll.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

It actually teaches people to not be idoloters

[MemeSupreme]

when i was a teen (before my mom got diagnosed with NPD), i was always afraid i'd end up a narc like her or really just becoming like her period

there's definitely habits when its someone close to you that can really influence your behavior without realizing it. for people in general tho, it can help read the signs whether someone is

[HollyK21]

Sure you may have picked up some tips and tricks, however I think it’s just generally better to not be around anyone you need to protect yourself from by mirroring their bad behaviors. That includes women, friends, family, etc, just avoid the narcissist.

[Agape93]

Probably. As one, having what I do being mirrored does confuse me a bit, especially if it's sudden. But dealing with anyone with a cluster b personality disorder will teach you how to approach em later on.

[Anonymous]

To some extent it does because you take all that bottled anger and release it on someone who doesn't deserve it