Break Up & Divorce

Do narcissists ever change?

I was in a relationship with someone who cheated on me and I took him back after seeing how much pain and depression he was going through after understanding what he did. I loved him and it hurt me to see him get like that. Although I forgave him for his actions, I never truly forgot what he did. And I needed extra care, reassurance, and validation for my feelings. He started calling me pessimistic all the time and he’d claim that I was always asking for too much. When i genuinely felt that I’d let so much stuff slide and i was only asking for the bare minimum. I became someone i wasn’t due to his actions and i just needed gentle love from him so that i could heal. So that our relationship could heal. We had a couple of small issues in our relationship but nothing worth breaking up over. Just recently I broke up with him because he booked a trip to Miami with all his single friends and it made me upset bc he didn’t talk to me first about it. There were also a lot of white lies told and things he hid from me due to that as well. I was hurt, especially bc of his past actions, and i tried to communicate my feelings. All I asked for was reassurance.. and he gaslit me, manipulated the whole conversation into an argument, called me controlling, threw MY past in my face (a past issue that he never even told me bothered him until now). I don’t understand why he did all of that to me when all I asked for was reassurance, all of this could have been avoided. But his reaction caused me to break up with him. My question today is, will he ever change? Will he ever realize how emotionally immature he is and how he treated me? It hurts me bc he’s been telling all his friends that I was asking for way too much and that I was toxic and that he wasn’t enough for me and that I was always so pessimistic. Will he ever realize how much I loved and sacrificed for him.. how much pain I endured bc of his emotional immaturity?
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+1 y
He tried to text me a week later after our break to try to “fix things” but he only argued with me again, threw my past in my face again, and defended his actions instead of just taking accountability and apologizing. So I didn’t take him back, but it hurt me so much bc I still love him… even after everything. I just wish he would realize where he went wrong but he just victimizes himself all the time. He can never be wrong :/
Do narcissists ever change?
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