My girlfriend hates my girl best friend after club incident – am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

We went to a club to get drunk and get wasted with a dozen of people we both knew. Cousins, close friends, friends of friends, etc. Coincidentally, we bumped into a lot of familiar groups of people, and one of those groups had my bestfriend/childhood friend. When our group was getting drunk and getting wasted, some of us split into other groups including my girlfriend. She went to her girls. I went to my bestfriend. It's been awhile since we communicated or talked personally so we both took our time talking and reminiscing while we drank. When I asked how her life was going generally, her face somewhat changed into something sad and tired. Maybe she REALLY was? She told me she just caught her boyfriend cheating on her with his ex. We talked, told her what I thought that he's a prick and an asshole for doing something like that. By the time this was going, I was really wasted myself and already puked two times along with my cousin. We hugged each other intently and I just told her that everything's going to be fine as the world continues to revolve, so to will this come to pass. I remembered my girlfriend coming back and pulling me aside after shouting something towards her that was incoherent to me. When we arrived back home she was pissed. Honestly, I was pissed because that was embarrassing. We had time to sober and I asked her why she acted like that.

TAKE NOTE: She knew her. I already introduced my bestfriend to her half a decade ago. I told her what we were doing and what we talked about. And then, my girlfriend told me her side. She saw us hugging at first and was already unhappy. I did not remember that we hugged many times after that. She was steady and calm enough to do this: She said she deliberately walked behind me to let her know that I was with her and still together. I could not believe when she told me that my bestfriend looked at her back, smiled, stuck her tongue out, and flipped her off. Now, I don't know who to believe or who to get angry at...

[SueShe]

Obviously you are in the wrong. This is so blatant.

You are obviously the type of person that likes to get intoxicated beyond reason and that alone is a huge red flag in any relationship.

People do not know how to behave when they are so intoxicated and the fact that you had to vomit twice leads me to believe that you are probably an alcoholic. That would be enough for your girlfriend to leave you for someone that is sober, even when going out with friends. You can have fun without being intoxicated.

Anyway, she was right in behaving the way she did and you deserve that she is upset with you.

[Selene1600000]

Right now you don’t have clear facts because you were drunk, so don’t jump to conclusions or pick a side yet.
Talk to both of them calmly and separately to understand what actually happened without accusing anyone.
Focus on how you and your girlfriend communicate and set boundaries so situations like this don’t escalate again.

[lightbulb27]

right and wrong is all relative... so lets talk rights (perspective)

She has right to be mad and hurt.

you have right to your feelings to support your friend

you have a right to drink and be stupid and fun...

your friend has a right to be sad about being cheated on

not sure about the other girl flipping her off, but who knows.

and you have a right to make appropriate changes to avoid hurting your girlfriend feelings.

Then we could talk responsibilities...

[AviatorTom]

Your first mistake... getting drunk. Your girlfriend has every right to wonder what's going on between you and your friend. But she also must take some responsibility for knowingly putting you in that situation. She abandoned you to be with her girls.

Put this behind you and work on your relationship.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy relationship drama without losing your mind… or your girl 😏

You weren’t wrong to comfort a hurting friend, but you were drunk, hugging “many times” in a club. That easily looks like a red flag to your girlfriend.

Key point: the tongue-out + middle finger thing. If your girlfriend is telling the truth, your “best friend” disrespected her on purpose. That’s not innocent childhood-friend energy, that’s territorial mean-girl energy.

You talk to your best friend sober, calmly, and tell her what your girlfriend said. If she laughs it off, blames your girlfriend, or gets weirdly defensive, that’s your answer. Real friends don’t provoke your partner and then play victim.

Then you reassure your girlfriend clearly: boundaries, less drunk physical affection with other women, and that you won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting her. That’s how you avoid this turning into lovebombing, jealousy spirals, and eventual ghosting.

[OneViewpoint]

Wasted and puking at the club with your female bestie from childhood who just broke up with her boyfriend and your girlfriend. What could go wrong. You sound like a bunch of goddamned geniuses. Expect more of this in your life.

[Staximus]

Ask your old friend if she flipped off and such her tongue out at your girlfriend. You got drunk in public and chose to hang out on public with a girl who was not your girlfriend. This was pretty stupid if you weren't expecting trouble, but telling that maybe your old friend should be your girlfriend.

[DonaldDarko]

Drinking and puking in a club is probably not a good idea in the first place. Maybe find some more wholesome activities to occupy your time. Make your life count for something.

[PeachyPie93]

You are young so most likely the relationship isn't gonna last anyways.. but never have a girl bestfriend its just unnecessary drama tbh..

[HighValue]

People that drink alcohol should expect problems in life, whether that is in relationships, work, etc.

[Theunfadeable]

Get angry at yourself for getting so drunk you don’t know going on. Sounds like you don’t even remember what happened.

[LC75LC71]

Sounds really made up. Coherent discussion at a club, then vomiting twice, followed by finally shouting by your girlfriend.. Was this a country club?

[Anonymous]

She is just being jealous, nothing unusual.

[In_Trance]

You're wrong