Ladies would you hold grudges on your new S/O if he assumes your relationship will fail from the start?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

Not sure if I’m officially numbed from all the strippers and sex workers I’ve either smooched or fucked with but nowadays relationships are meaningless to me.

It’s been almost 2 decades since I was last in a relationship and I don’t think I will ever go back to one. I just don’t see the purpose behind being in one anymore.

and for whatever reason I get into one I’m not gonna keep my hopes up and I will probably make it clear that I’m won’t be surprised if she either cheats on me or one of us in some provoking one another to leave

Yes

No

[Shr00merite]

This is exactly true for me and the relationship I’ve been invested in for the past year. It makes you feel a deeply maddening discomfort to know that: This relationship almost feels like it doesn’t even have much of a fighting chance to keep in a direction where things still feel right and secure… bc once it’s known that the S/O sees things that way then it definitely becomes more of a struggle to even want to remain as the positive person that just has so much love that you hope to prove them wrong…. Yeah. That usually doesn’t ever work either. You could be the best woman he’s ever been treated by but the fact that he never thought it was gonna go as far as it had is just another thing that keeps him stuck w/ not being sure of what he will let himself believe so he’ll most likely stick to a level of performance until he absolutely can’t anymore and that shit gets soooo draining to try and constantly be attentive or attuned to.
If he is the type who says all of his exes are awful and that he hates every one of them and that he was cheated on in every single one but never admitted having cheated on them too but it was “only bc they did it first” or “I was trying to get away from that girlfriend so I cheated bc she did too” type immaturity over time, just not worth the effort.
I remember 3-6 months into the relationship I was soooo infatuated w/ expressing my love to him and often doing so in very thoughtful ways… but to him, he thought it was all fake. It was really disheartening to know that that’s how he was viewing my outpour..(an outpour that I knew came from a warm and authentic place of my soul) but to him, he just can’t trust anything due to being hurt and let down by his experiences w/ trusting people and it definitely will not help you feel less resentful bc of how under appreciated and even how dismissed you’ll begin to feel.

[CriminallyInsane]

Then you're better off staying out of them. I wouldn't see a point in continuing with someone who tells me he assumes I'm going to cheat and has already doomed it to failure from the beginning. Those people tend to want it to fail and look to find any tiny little detail they can and blow it up to make sure it fails like they thought it would. They'd rather be right than have it actually work out so it has no realistic chance. At least keep it all to yourself. I get it if your experience was such that makes you think it might happen but it doesn't mean it will and you pretty much kill it before it starts with your fatalistic statements.

[molonski2]

I think everyone male and female should start from the position of " this is highly unlikely to work but let's see " , that's just healthy negative , then for there see how things build , but it's just healthy thinking..

I also don't think the question is a Yes / No

And obviously I'm not a chick , they may have other ideas.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle love, fear, and all the messy stuff in between, with a little flirting on the side 😏

If you walk into a relationship saying “this will probably fail” or “you’ll probably cheat,” most women will see that as a huge red flag. It’s basically pre-emptive ghosting.

You’re emotionally numb and expecting betrayal, so you’re building a shield instead of a bond. A healthy woman won’t hold a grudge; she’ll just lose attraction and quietly peace out.

If you ever do get into a relationship again, don’t lovebomb or overpromise, but at least show you’re open to falling in love instead of pre-writing the breakup story.

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

If my new significant other assumed the relationship will fail from the start, then I would not waste my time being in a relationship with him in the first place. I will find a partner that is more compatible and optimistic about us being in a relationship.

[Beckybooboo]

I wouldn't hold a grudge, I would actually appreciate his honesty.

[LazerBean]

I wouldn't hold a grudge, I would just simply move on and get with a candidate who has potential.