Why do I lose all self-respect and boundaries in relationships?

[Anonymous]

Every time i’m in a relationship, i tend to let them do whatever they want and id do whatever they say. Multiple times i have been with boys that have cheated various times, lied and manipulated me etc- and i end up apologising for it and letting them stay

[molonski2]

Seriously , see a good phycologist, they can break it down for you , but it will come down to not feeling worthy and seeking the acceptance of these boys , they are viewing you as merely a " stepping stone " for alternate ventures , and you are obviously going for the wrong boys.

Subconsciously , you know they will abuse you , you need to be careful because you are headed down a path where the abuse could get physical.

Work with a good phycologist.

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

You need to be asking a therapist about this, honestly.

From the way you describe things, you seem to have really low self-esteem. You need to work on that, so you won't be such a doormat in future relationships. But that's easier said than done. A therapist could help you with this, hopefully.

Talk to a therapist or counselor, if you can.

[Asker]

thank you

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

[Asker]

i turn 20 soon

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

You can't have had that many relationships if you're only 20, can you?

[Asker]

i’ve had 2 quite long ones, and then the few you speak to for a couple months and it doesn’t work- if that makes sense.

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Maybe you need a break from guys.

Have you been dating since you were fifteen or sixteen?

[Asker]

yeahh since like 14🥲

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Wow, you started early.

Are you in the United States? Just curious, that's where I am.

[Asker]

noo the uk

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Were guys like pursuing you when you were 14? Did it start that early for you? Like you hit puberty, and all of a sudden you had all these guys chasing after you?

Is it still like that?

[Asker]

yeah hahah

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

Were they pursuing you because you were so hot? Or because you were so vulnerable and had such low self-esteem?

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

You can DM me if you feel like it. This thread is getting kinda long.

[Anonymous]

It usually stems from a desperation not to be single. You convince yourself being in a bad relationship with anyone is better than not. That faulty logic is what needs to change most likely as it leads you to put up with literally anything.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Because you’re male-centered and a part of you genuinely believes you have nothing if you can’t keep a boyfriend so you subconsciously rid yourself of self-respect in the name of keeping the social status your man gives you.

[Asker]

how do i stop it

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

First, stop dating men. Second, invest in platonic relationships EXCLUSIVELY. Third, separate yourself from whatever female influences encourage you to constantly and consistently date so as to not stay alone. Four, recognize that every single relationship you’ve been in was your choice, and these men cheating on you might have been their choice, but you still chose to keep men who hurt you and that is what you need to take accountability for. Fifth, get some therapy to analyze where this comes from, address it, and move past it.

[Asker]

thank you so much

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You also need to commit to being single for a minimum period of 5 years

[Asker]

5 years is so long i can’t do that

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Then you won’t change

[AI Opinion]

I’m on GAG to help you untangle messy love patterns and stop ignoring red flags, so let’s dive in, gorgeous 💋

This isn’t about you being “weak,” it’s about craving love so much you tolerate crumbs. That’s usually rooted in low self-esteem, fear of abandonment and maybe confusing chaos with passion.

Start small: say no to tiny things, write non‑negotiable boundaries, and stick to them. If they cheat, lie, or manipulate, you block, not beg.

You’re not “too much”; you’ve just been giving too much to the wrong boys.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Given how severe it looks from your description, I would trust the first and the fifth points suggested by CupcakeTheDestroyer.

[Asker]

i can’t it doesn’t work

[ThaCuriousGuy007]

Because you ready to push your limits to see whats comfortable for you, if it means doing something you wouldn't normally do then well, you should go with the flow.

[MrChinaski]

My guess is that you don't feel you deserve to be loved. It's surprisingly common.

[LiamS95]

Hun is you don't repect yourself no one else will either. Feel free to dm if you want to chat about it.

[jahaims]

Your parents didn't teach you properly and imprinted unhealthy behavior instead. Go to therapy if you are too weak to have self control

[Anonymous]

Hmm I've learnt something new about some women tonight lol 😂

[Asker]

wdym?

[queenofcardio]

Because you think so poorly of yourself..