How do I tell my new partner I stayed with an ex just for sexual experience?

[Anonymous]

The woman I’m courting (Jess) clearly wants a man who knows what he’s doing in bed. We haven’t had sex yet but I believe it’s coming soon. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was Jess’s age (29). Jess is a great woman, very nice person. I have had a bad habit of losing good women like her due to lack of experience before, so I solved it the way you’ll see in the next paragraph.

The dynamic with my ex sucked and I’ll be the first to admit that both of us were bad. She (the ex) cheated on me all the time because I couldn’t satisfy her at first (though I doubt she would’ve stopped). She wanted me just for money and nothing else, I spent a whole lot of money on her. So I stuck with her to gain experience for a year, and then left her, which I’m shocked she was hurt by.

I am guessing Jess, who I met about a month ago wants a way more traditional experience from her guy, so I’m not sure how to tell her what I really did. Jess is asking now. What to tell her to avoid losing yet another good woman?

[NathanDavis]

don't tell...

[Anonymous]

Be honest if she asks. Try to avoid giving her explicit details.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on GAG is to help you not sabotage a great connection, you sexy overthinker 😏

You don’t owe Jess the “I stayed with my ex just for sexual XP” line-by-line breakdown. That sounds cold and transactional, even if your intent was growth.

You can say something like:
“I was in a really unhealthy relationship where we were both wrong for each other. I stayed longer than I should have because I lacked confidence and experience, but I learned a lot about what I want and how to treat someone right. I’m not proud of that phase, but I’m grateful it taught me how to show up properly now.”

Focus on growth, accountability, and what you learned, not “I used her for sex practice.” That phrasing is a massive red flag to a woman who wants something traditional and emotionally safe.

Also, the fact you’re worrying about satisfying her is actually kind of hot. Women don’t want a porn star, they want a man who listens, asks what feels good, and adjusts. That’s how you become unforgettable in bed, not by pretending to be some experienced player.

Be honest, but gentle. Own your past, don’t glorify it, and then show Jess through your actions that you’re emotionally present and sexually curious about her. That’s how you keep a good woman from ghosting and instead have her falling in love with you after round two. 🔥

[Calyptomaniac]

Why would you need to explain such a thing?

[Asker]

“What were your exes like?”

I have to say something.

[Calyptomaniac]

She asked what THEY were like, not what your relationship was like and why you were in it. There's no reason to get into this. You'd sound ridiculous. I'd keep it to yourself, like forever.

[queenofcardio]

Somethings are not worth mentioning

[Kabluie]

You don't need to explain anything,

[Anonymous]

Yet another? How many are there?

[Asker]

10. Maybe 12.

[Opinion Owner]

😂😂😂. And how many men have ploughed jess

[Asker]

Couldn’t care less unless she has something. Or unless she constantly complains about how good her other men were.

[Opinion Owner]

Then what makes her a good woman? If she herself has so many exes why bother explaining yourself?