Is lasting love, loyalty, and real happiness still possible today?

[Finchie40]

The things that made me happy in life have all turned to shit , Everything I worked hard for , just seems like I have to piss it all away. This country is a disaster, with the cost of things rising and the job market being a complete joke. So many people I meet are pretty much in the same boat , trying to survive and keep their head above water , I feel this generation is the worst i have ever experienced in my life , take me back to the 80’s and 90’s and I would be there in a second , because things aren’t the same as it used to be whatsoever, that was a time I was happy and at peace and things were a lot better than it is now. , nowadays it seems happiness is hard to come by. If you are happy and content and at peace in today’s’ world , I am jealous of you , because my life hasn’t been the greatest for quite sometime now , I am at a point I want someone to sweep me off my feet for once and make everything ok. Girls’ I meet today are mostly selfish and not loyal , they are just fun temporarily and something to do , I don’t even waste my breathe about falling in love and having committed relationship anymore because most of them say they want that , but really they don’t , they just like the convenience of it. So do people want to fall in love and stay faithful these days? , or is that just something from the past? I am so lost in today’s’ world , to the point I don’t know what to do anymore , Everything I was taught and guided to do all turned to shit if I could go back in time I would stop myself from being a hard worker and stop myself for falling for some of the girls’ I been with. Maybe things would be better for me , but that’s a joke in itself as well.

[Smart_Monk]

I used to say that if it is conditional, then it is not love.

Now I'll add to that: if you're not thankful for absolutely everything, then you're not thankful for anything, you're just riding hits of dopamine. Reacting to what life throws at you, like a victim, instead of transforming yourself through an act of will.

People with the easiest lives ever are not happy, they're just drunk, and fulfillment has nothing to do with external ease. ㅤ

[sage2021]

You and I both would love to go back in time and live in America. 🇺🇸 The 60's, 70's, and 80's were the best I think. In the very early 90's is when dating rules changd.

Trump campaigned on making America 🇺🇸 Great Again and I think this is what he also wanted for America. To go back to the good ole days.

In the early 90's relationships started to change for the worst and it just never stopped that trajectory just kept spinning downward 👇🏼 and it's still going in the wrong direction.

Two movies from the 90's changed the way guys started thinking different about dating and relationships.

1. Friends With Benefits

2. He's Just Not Into You

Guy's really loved the idea of friends with benefits and that's what changed as far as dating changed.

Then the guys all sounded cult like saying the same things to women to get out of long term and loving relationships.

1. We need to see other people.

2. I need more space

3. It's not your fault, it's mine. (when the end came.)

4. I don't want a girlfriend.

5. The phone games started where he said that he would call but never did. Then you'd find him at Applebee's hanging out at the bar. You'd see him and he'd say "I've been busy"!! That is added to the cult like list.
One time that exact same thing happened to me. He's sorry he didn't call but was busy. So, I said to him "We're ALL busy! You didn't invent busy"!!

If a guy took a girl/woman out to dinner he would expect to get laid for doing that. So, I would just tell them "Thanks but no thanks - I can feed myself"!

Then the women got sick of that same old routine and turned the tables on the guys. That's when the rules about sex changed too. If women had sex with the dude, she would start telling HIM "I'll call ya" and wouldn't call and say that she was busy..

You see where I am going with this..

The song "McArthur Park" explains it pretty good "Someone left the cake out in the rain and I'll never have that recipe again." That's what happened to love relationships! We'll never have that recipe again for finding great love relationships! Sad!

https://youtu. be/H2lwhnSL5LE? si=uKmnsiTQhXWTFZYU

[sage2021]

https://youtu.be/H2lwhnSL5LE?si=C47VJB1WHOtkc4DB

It always works the second time I don't know why 🤷🏼‍♀️

[sage2021]

***correction**
He's just not that into you.

[Finchie40]

Yea unfortunately that’s pretty much the way it is nowadays and it’s sad , mainly because I am not the type of guy that wants to screw multiple women , I like having one girl that I feel close to and safe with , over a girl that spreads her legs every chance she gets. That to me is dirty and degrading. Once I have sex with a girl , my intentions is to only have sex with her moving forward , but unfortunately that’s pretty much isn’t always her intentions as well. Some girls’ just think sex is sex and nothing more to it , I look at sex as love , by being close to each other , not just getting off on someone. But sadly that’s how people think these days and it’s shocking to me. It’s like people today don’t care about AIDS or STD’s even after so many people died from it , it blows my mind on how things have changed , so yes please take me back to those times when people weren’t so selfish

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[Timeship]

If "lasting love, loyalty, and real happiness are not possible today," then humanity has lost its meaning and purpose in life as intellectual (sentient/sensual) species. However, such things are possible even in time of war, and they often help us survive total destruction, including self-destruction, as well as keep us remember what and why are we fighting (evil/injustice) for. I am a living witness to that, so... don't lose hope and faith in yourself or humanity in general. We are such the only species that can change just by thinking--even against all odds, including lack of anything or means to survive. No animal can do that. And if "we" have lost the ability to do it, then we had reverted back to "animals," most of whom follow only primal instincts. Last but not least, if "true love" (and the rest, mentioned in the question) are not possible today (for some people), it doesn't mean they had never been possible for anyone else, and would never even be possible again for someone else. That's my golden penny on the topic, and yes, I've experienced it twice, even after I had lost my first wife to illness at the age of 24. "For those who believe (in love), anything is possible."

[Anonymous]

Being single again is a real pisser. I remember when I split with my girlfriend 30 years ago I was lost
I was a disaster.
I felt like there was a hole in me which was leaking. I was paying for sex and my conscience was shot.

Saturdays I was totally lost because I had nothing to do. Sundays hung over.
My relationship with my parents was nil because I kinda blamed them.

Fast forward 30 years and by marriage is not great. But I'm holding on to a thread because I know what like would be like fire about 2 years until I meet someone else.

Persons on here have told me I'm a coward when I complain about by wife. And they are right. I should just move on. But I am afraid of what my life would become.

I have given up alcohol and that's good. That would lessen the disaster.

But I can sympathize with your situation finchie. I hope you find a partner and that you discover meaning in your life.

[Finchie40]

I’m sorry to hear the shit you went through and what you are dealing with now , knock on wood , I never paid for sex and never plan on doing so , mainly because I can only have sex with a girl that I feel a connection with , that’s just how I am , unfortunately a lot of girls don’t believe me when I say that , because they are use to guys’ just using them for sex and just wanting sex , but I honestly can not , you can blame my female child molester for that reason , my trauma specialist told me that’s the reason why I am this way. cuz for a very long time I questioned myself as to why I couldn’t just have sex with a girl just to get off on , like a lot of my male friends’ can do. Basically the feeling of being used , shuts my body down like a natural instinct , if I feel a girl is just trying to use me , she is going to have a hard time getting my penis erect , I have encountered a good amount of that with girls’ through the years , that’s just wanted to get laid that I met at clubs and bars etc.. that were just trying to use me for sex, and I told them sorry, it’s not going to happen. And you are wasting your time thinking you can convince me to do so. I have to be really into a girl for me to even consider having sex with her , I am a great partner to have because she doesn’t have to worry about me cheating on her if she treats me with love and respect and is loyal and honest with me , why I was with my ex for a long ass time , it wasn’t until she started being selfish once the kids’ got older that ruined our marriage and relationship, she started to get distant from me , when she was always inseparable with me , little by little , I noticed her drifting from me and my trust for her slowly started to fade away by her actions and behaviors. But I held on hoping love would save the day , but I was just hurting myself by thinking that way. She stopped sleeping in bed with me and she demanded we got separate bank accounts , which was all red flags to me

[Finchie40]

She became friends’ with a girl that I don’t care for whatsoever and she started prioritizing this girl over me , to the point I thought maybe my wife is bisexual , because her friendship with this girl was very shady compared to her other friendships , this girl was buying her expensive gifts and taking her on vacations just for the 2 of them , when I confronted my wife of course she denied everything, so I knew I was t going to get the truth from her , so I realized it’s best just to end it with her and let her go. So I told my wife it’s best that we separate because I am over feeling disrespected in this relationship, so we went our separate ways and eventually I met a beautiful blonde that was treating me like Gold , treating me way better then my ex did. Intimacy and affection wasn’t even an issue , this girl rocked my world 😊 I dated her
For a good 6 months until her husband come knocking on my door, I had no clue she was married whatsoever, I was in complete shock , so I told him the truth about pretty much everything and I kind of felt bad for the guy until I found out he gave her another chance , which blew my mind even more, as for her I told her to never call me again that what she did was insane , she cried to me and said she loves me , I said I loved ya to until I found out you are married , she begged me to give her another chance and I said the first thing you need to do is divorce your husband if you want to continue seeing me , and she said she will , she didn’t and the desperate bastard took her back. So I was single again and my ex was trying to get me back as well , shortly after all that went down , I found out my older brother passed away , so I immediately went to stay with family and my ex came with me , and was by my side the whole time , so I ended up screwing my ex again and she moved back in with me , things were getting better between us , shortly after that I found out my mom passed away 3 months after my brother , so we went and

[Opinion Owner]

I hear you

I hear your story

You have your story and I have mine and I keep telling mine here in different ways.

And I see you telling your story

And hopefully we can both move on

👍

[Finchie40]

Stayed with family again and I was gone , it seemed like my whole world came crashing down on me , losing my Mom was very hard for me , but my wife stood by my side again , after we came back home , her and I will still doing good , and the. Her toxic friend tried coming back into the picture I forgot to mention the had a falling out but of course they made up as friends’ again , which I was t very happy about , but my wife swore she is not gay and swore she never did anything with her , so I believed her because things were good with my wife and I again , until I got laid off from my job and had a hell of a time finding another one , and that’s when I saw my wife’s true colors and realized she was only really with me for financial support because she can’t keep a job if her life depends on it , and I realized she was using me because how she started treating me when I no longer had a job , so this time around I told her it’s over between us for good , I said you are a fucking user and I want a partner that has my back like I have hers’ so go be with your dyke girlfriend and let her support your sorry ass. My wife said let’s sell the house and split the money and go our separate ways , which I am in process of doing , her and I agreed to be mutual for the kids’ sake and until we sell the house, so as soon as it sells , I am taking my share of the money and debating on whether I want to stay in this area or get the fuck out of her and start over somewhere new , now that I got laid off again. My luck with jobs hasn’t been the greatest whatsoever. So I been applying all over the place hoping to land something soon

[Finchie40]

My advice to you man , is to kick your wife to the curb if you are living in misery , life is too short to stay with someone that isn’t bringing you happiness , Do you have kids? With her? If so then stick it out until the kids’ get older if you can , but if not , do what’s best for you , There are plenty of girls’ in the sea that are looking for happiness as well, don’t stay with one that isn’t bringing you happiness , you are only wasting your time , Most girls’ today are very selfish people , that only truly care about themselves , that will use you until they can’t use you anymore , You can be a great guy, a great provider , a great lover , and love your wife the best that you can but unfortunately that isn’t always good enough for girls’ these days , most of them brainwash themselves from social media and the nonsense their friends’ drill into their heads , telling them they can do better. I been on both sides of the spectrum plenty of times to know bullshit when encounter it , to find a girl today that actually wants to settle down with just one guy , good luck with that shit , most girls’ today have multiple guys’ they are juggling around , because they are selfish people, find yourself a girl that isn’t selfish , that only has eyes for you that brings happiness into your life , not constant misery

[Opinion Owner]

My mom passed away in 2019
Just before the pandemic
Probably just as well
Cos she wouldn't have made it through the pandemic

I hear what you're saying and I think you'll be fine

You looking for a relationship where you can trust that person

[Finchie40]

Yes trust and honesty is important to me

[BCRanger10]

Yes, I think it is. And the reason why is quite simple. All three of the things in the title of this question - love, loyalty, and real happiness - each of them are a CHOICE.

[exitseven]

It is possible but it is very rare. Somehow I managed to stumble on to a great marriage but looking back it took a lot of work and was not a straight line. Neither was my career. It was a long and winding road.

[NathanDavis]

it was never impossible to begin with...

but that does not mean that it will be possible for everyone either

especially if they keep making and taking bad decisions, one after the other...

[robocop666]

The USA is dying. Your employment and inflation numbers are false. Your is huge trouble.

[TonyMetal___86]

Still possible but very hard to find!

[Jen_oic]

@Finchie40

Everything?

[Finchie40]

Not everything but most

[jahaims]

Duh.