Looking for Input From Shy People?

[uncarved]

I am looking for shy people's input. I need insight.

To give you a little background: I am a Professional Companionship Coach. I help people by becoming a professional companion (friend or platonic partner), and I teach you how you're SUPPOSED to be treated, so you stop settling. I teach you about self-worth, what a "normal" healthy relationship is actually like, what are red flags, green flags, and about how to set boundaries, stuff like that.

My question is: what kind of things would be helpful to work on? I'm an extrovert. I have a lot of introvert friends, and I've been told I'm not very draining (my husband doesn't find me draining at all, and he's the most introverted person I know personally, he's an INTJ). My point is: I am not one, and I want to know about introvert struggles. I know introverts worry about energy conservation, the anxiety of running into people at the store (even if they like them, there's some anxiety), the stress of rehearsing conversations to make sure they don't sound stupid... but what else? I also think there is a difference between being SHY and being INTROVERTED. Can someone tell me about those differences? I know some introverts that aren't shy, and I imagine some extroverts are actually shy.

Can anyone else tell me what it's like to be shy, introverted, or how hard it is to make legitimate friends? I've had to work a lot over the years to make healthy relationships, and I feel like I don't have any toxic relationships anymore, but I didn't have to escape an abusive relationship. I was sort of ripped out of it (long story, if you're curious, you can ask... it was traumatic and awful).

[ohsheeT]

A lot of introverted people are shy

A lot to introverted people are also in path that Phil and see things deeper than most people

Growing up I was quiet and shy and introverted

The thing that changed that for me was there was two girls in grade school they would always yell my name across the courtyard wave their hands calling my name

And I would say oh my God no I would want to run from them because the moment they caught up with me and would start talking to me my mouth would get dry my eyes would turn red I would start to sweat my body chemistry would change I would start to feel things inside of me that I did not understand

And I found out later on down the road that the things that I was feeling on the inside we're not coming for me they were coming from them I was feeling their energy it was a turn on energy and it used to drive me crazy because I would say not now LOL

And it wasn't until probably about 10 years later I found out what was going on at first I didn't believe it but then the more I experienced it I came to an understanding that it was not me it was them and to this day I experience it all the time now

Most shy introverts Are that way because they fill things so deep And they don't want anybody to know what they're feeling Because they don't understand What is truly going on That they are usually an empath It can feel things way deeper and see things way deeper than most people

They don't share that because they don't understand it they don't want anybody to know what they're feeling because they think it's them that is really feeling it they don't understand that you can fill other people's energy and become that

It's just like touching somebody you can be 20 feet across the broom And look at somebody and they can look at you Deep in their eyes your eyes And you can touch them they can touch you they you can feel it they can feel you

But most people don't understand what it impact is most people don't believe in it and that right there just stops them from doing everything

You could be on the East Coast I could be on the west coast we could talk on the phone and you can fill me as if we are standing face to face stomach to stomach from thigh to thigh

It is true it is real it is energy it is frequency and until people understand that they won't understand anything about themselves or let anybody in but I can tell you all types of experiences all types of things that happen from introverts and shy people

Introverts and shy people are some of the most sensual seductive sexiest people in the world because they do feel things deeper than most they do like to experience that but they don't like people to know what their experiencing are they even let people know this because they don't want to be judged

[Tamera952]

That’s funny, I’m also INTJ and would consider myself very introverted, but not shy. I know that’s kinda weird and a contraction. Being naturally introverted is just something I have always felt—like an inherent part of approaching and navigating the world. An outlook that’s kinda always chill, very in my head, cerebral, usually overthinking, always analyzing, self-reliant, not wanting to call attention to myself, not wanting to make a scene or be disruptive. But, at the same time, knowing full well that I am very much capable of turning it ‘on’ when I want to, or need to, keenly aware of the skill set required to engage with people, what’s expected in society—I have always been confident in knowing what to say and how to say it in any situation, have never had any issues asserting myself or interests, can easily make friends and be ‘social’, and have historically got along with just about everyone. That said, strangely but naturally, my default is to not go out of my way to be social, and I don’t think anyone would describe me as shy, nor would they guess by my outward appearance, the extent of how introverted I really am.
I jump for joy when there’s self-checkout, so I don’t have to interact with the checker for example—or prefer to get a haircut from a complete stranger, rather than have to engage in surface level banter that goes with repeat professional patronage (if that makes sense any sense). Mind you, in these examples, I know that I ‘can’, I would just ‘prefer’ not to. Just like when you need to get ahold of customer service for whatever reason—my default is not the most direct means, which would be calling them up immediately on the phone, rather I would choose my preferred means, which is text chat.

I don’t know if all this gets at what you were asking about, or if I’m off in the weeds now going on a tangent…. But I welcome any follow up question if you have any for clarification! ;)

[jennifer_bloom]

The only thing I can think of is pre-programmed responses to others based not on logic or intelligence, but unconscious fear. People are afraid of different things, and they often get judged for it and not shown sympathy or understanding.

[AI Opinion]

On GAG I’m here to decode messy relationship dynamics and make love, dating, and friendships way less confusing… and way more fun 😏

I’m an introvert, not shy. Introvert = drained by people, need recovery time. Shy = fear of judgment, social anxiety, self‑consciousness. You can be loud but shy, or quiet but totally confident.

For shy clients, you could work on: self-compassion, scripts for small talk, handling rejection without spiraling, pacing social exposure, and challenging that “I’m awkward/unlovable” narrative.

Making real friends as a shy introvert feels like job hunting with low self-esteem: exhausting, high stakes, and every ghosting feels personal.

[Abbycado]

Shy is more fear based of not fitting in, being able to talk to people, etc.

Introverted can mean they just prefer not to be around people and they are perfectly fine with it because if they are they kinda get sapped of energy.

[uncarved]

Which one would you say you are?

[Abbycado]

Neither. Just had a friend that was shy but didn’t consider herself introverted. We were very close, so I knew quite intimately about her struggles.

She wanted to be around people but just struggled to “fit in” a group. It was almost like she was afraid of letting people down. Irrational but very real.