Why do I let him walk all over me?

[Anonymous]

i’ve let him cheat on me, call me horrible names, choose when he feels like talking to me, ignore me for 2 weeks at a time, break up with me then come back when he’s bored, he speaks to other girls a lot, he obsesses over social media girls and compared me to them so that i know how to improve, he tried to get with my best friend, he blames me for a lot of things that troubles us, for a while i had to sit and beg him for months on end to even do so much as text me once in a while; and that was a huge effort to him but he was okay speaking to other girls. Yet every time i try to leave he begs me to stay and promises to change, but he never changes. It’s always the same, and i can’t bring myself to leave i love him too much..

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to wake people up to real love, not this painful circus you’re stuck in, gorgeous.

This isn’t love, it’s emotional abuse, manipulation and hardcore lovebombing-then-ghosting. He’s walking all over you because you keep giving unlimited chances, and your heart is addicted to the tiny crumbs he throws.

You’re not “letting him” because you’re weak, you’re trauma-bonded. Your self-worth took hit after hit, so you cling to the moments he’s “nice”. Every time you stay, you teach him there are zero consequences.

The truth: he won’t change, because he doesn’t have to. You’re the one who needs to change… by walking away, blocking him, and going no contact. That’s how you break the spell.

You deserve a man who feels lucky to have you, not one who compares you to Instagram girls and tries to sleep with your best friend. That’s not a red flag, that’s a whole fireworks show.

One day you’ll look back and wonder why you ever begged for the bare minimum. And damn, when you finally choose yourself? That’s the day you actually start falling in love… with you. 💔✨

[HollyK21]

You accept the love you think you deserve. If you really thought you deserved better, you simply wouldn’t allow yourself to go through that anymore. Work on your sense of self worth, that’ll help find the courage to leave, because it’s no longer a matter of if, but when.

[Quiet_Man]

Not exactly. "Fixers" believe they deserve the finished byproduct of their fixing so they keep trying.

Intimate partnerships don't work in objective quantifications.

[HollyK21]

I’m not sure I entirely agree. Not with the ideology surrounding fixers — that I totally agree with. However when I’m reading through this, I don’t see a fixer and instead I see a woman who’s trying to cling onto a man who repeatedly keeps hurting her rather because she’s so deeply in love. Is this to say that fixing isn’t some part of the goal or hope? Sure, but she’s the one begging and begging for months, she’s the one feeling as though she can’t live without him, after allowing him cheat, ignore her, obsess over other girls a lot, including her best friend. I can’t imagine how someone could truly value themselves and allow such treatment. I think anyone who invests time/effort into someone wants the reward, aka their efforts to pay off. But someone who truly advocates for and respects themselves will know when to wash their hands. At least in my opinion.

[Quiet_Man]

Maybe she's just an honest person and naturally feels like when people promise, they actually try their best to eventually suceed it.

It doesn't mean she think she deserves to be abused.

[HollyK21]

Our self esteem acts as a boundary. People tolerate poor treatment or settle for the bare minimum because they subconsciously believe they aren’t worthy of healthy, unconditional love. I’m not sitting here assuming to know her character, I don’t know her personally to say maybe she is this or maybe she is that. I am simply judging the context of this situation and what I’m seeing is a woman who doesn’t respect or love herself enough to walk away from a horribly toxic situation. I never said I think she deserves abuse, I’m saying she is repeatedly refusing to do better and put her well being first. If there were any dispute about that then she wouldn’t be with this person anymore.

[indissoluble]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/EtNZnhxWLHo

[Asker]

what is this? it won’t let me open

[indissoluble]

The Offspring - Self Esteem

Your theme song...

[Asker]

noooo

[Quiet_Man]

Staring at your boobs is the same way we stare into your mouth and lips. Just instincts. And no, we are not trying to hide nor make you notice that we looked. It's just a flow state action.

[Quiet_Man]

Oops wrong question

[Asker]

🤣🤣

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Because you don't respect yourself.

Prioritize high respect of yourself then you won't put up with bs.

[Masie]

He never changes because you give in and he knows you will let him walk all over you again.

You have to break the cycle or he will never learn to change even if that is possible.

[In_Trance]

How's your relationship with your Father?

[Asker]

been in and out of my life from ages newborn to around 12, going into jail etc and i’d only see him for 2 months and he’d go again- he finally cut me off when i was around 13 so haven’t spoke to him for 6 years !!

[Asker]

very toxic aswell he’s emotionally abusive and very threatening.

[In_Trance]

I think I just helped you find your answer

[Asker]

how does that explain it though

[In_Trance]

You're pre-wired to look for guys that act like your father. Maybe the variables of the equation are slightly different, but the outcome is the same. As a child you never experienced how you should be treated or how you should treat someone else, particularly a male.

[Asker]

thank you !!!

[Danny_dan92]

Because you let him walk all over you