Should I pursue a guy I liked the idea of, or just move on?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy who I had a crush on then later realized I like the idea of him more than him.

However we are compatible (except for my looks which are slowly fading somewhat), and I wonder if it’s better than being so alone.

Do you think I should forget about him as I like the idea of him more than him or see if it could turn into something?

[Anonymous]

You should give him a real chance. I'm sure you've given him plenty of reasons to be wary as well, but no one is perfect. I don't know how well you know this guy, but actually getting to know him would be the most enlightening action you could take.

[Asker]

In my description I was honest about my looks kind of fading

I’m not saying he’s not good enough. I’m saying he doesn’t give me butterflies in my stomach.

Plus maybe he doesn’t even like me who knows

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sure your looks are perfectly fine. His looks could have dwindled with time too.

The butterfly feeling is nice, but I always assumed that was intertwined with nerves. There are deeper and more meaningful emotions that can be built with time and shared experiences. Maybe that feeling you seek will comeback.

You can only figure out if he likes you by talking to him. I'm unsure of your relationship with this guy, but he would be overjoyed if he did like you.

[melnc]

If you're not sure, that's already your answer... let him go.

[Asker]

I could use a boyfriend

Someone to talk to

[melnc]

So you mean a friend, not a boyfriend. Just someone to talk to, right?

[WhitneySnow]

You could try to get to know him and see if the reality even comes close to your idealized vision of him

[Asker]

I guess I’m not sure I’m attracted to him.

[WhitneySnow]

Then don’t bother unless you could see a future with him

[Anonymous]

Wow you're an asshole. How about liking the guy for who he is instead of building up this delusional fairytale about him

[Asker]

How is there anything asshole like about this?

Let’s say a girl likes protective guys and realizes he’s not really like that in real life

Of course she will stop liking him it’s just her preference

[Opinion Owner]

Because you're wrapping a false image of a guy in your mind that you made up something he isn't. You like him on false pretenses than for who he actually

[Asker]

You are making this way more complex than it is

The definition of a crush is literally someone you don’t know well but have a fantasy like perception of

[Opinion Owner]

No I'm just stating what you're telling me. There's a difference