After 40 or 50, is it better to accept an imperfect partner than be alone?

[Anonymous]

By imperfect I mean maybe a nice partner but poor at sex. Or someone messy when you are a neat freak or someone with a short fuse or bad at money? When your 20's you probably keep looking for althea ideal match. But is there really much choice when you get older?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you stop settling and start choosing wisely, at any age 😉

You don’t magically “have” to lower your standards after 40 or 50, but you do get smarter about which flaws are livable and which are red flags. Bad at sex, money chaos, short fuse… those can become misery, not “cute imperfections.”

Compromise on preferences, never on your peace, safety, or self-respect. Growing older means choosing better, not just “any warm body” so you’re not alone.

[AviatorTom]

No one is perfect. Better to have a partner than be alone.

[Anonymous]

You will never find someone who’s perfect because someone perfect doesn’t exist, however you can’t just settle for anyone to not be alone. You have to be attracted to them, like them, have fun together and they have to treat you right. Their flaws have to be things you can live with. Short fuse is a no, you can’t spend your life with someone like that and be happy. Someone who’s messy when you’re a neat freak? Well if you can handle it without being annoyed and start resenting them (from what I’ve seen neat freaks usually can’t do that) then ok. Someone who’s not good at sex? Well depends on how important sex is for you and maybe if they’re open to trying to learn. You have to contemplate if you can be with them for the rest of your life without your personalities, goals or flaws clashing too much.

[Asker]

You make the most sense. Not surprising as your female and get it. I'm not looking for Mr perfect and I'm not perfect at all but there's certain things that make life hard. Like if they have no patience and flare up easily but are sweet the rest of the time. Just examples. At your age the rest of your life is long and you may meet someone new. Most people are looking for serious relationships in 20s and 30s. But beyond that it gets really hard and goals like starting a family and getting married have been surpassed. Goals become more about companionship and sharing life. And without that what is purpose left in life? So is it better to be with someone than risk never finding another person to be with? The majority of older people are either paired up or given up so the dating pool for someone without major flaws is very very small.

[molonski2]

No hun , no no no

I ran hard from 45 - 55 my best ever period , and I would certainly not be accepting shite you can't deal with just to NOT be alone..

It went the other way , but I was not concerned about Regimenting my life , it was running really well.

Don't settle for less , just make sure YOU are at your absolute best , correct weight , and well presented , plenty of active sport.

[Nikki1989]

Perfect partners are rare, but you can be lucky and find one. I did

Never give up on it. I know someone who found their dream partner at the age of 72.

[Asker]

I know this is being ageist.. but I don't want a new partner when I'm 72. I want a partner whilst I'm still active and healthy and then grow old together.

[bowenw]

I suggest you don't settle for someone you aren't totally happy with and keep searching for a someone you are compatible with regardless of your age. Everyone has flaws, but some are easier to live with than others.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think you were ever any good at sex yourself if you're alone at 40 or 50? Or maybe it's your personality, or just maybe you 've no reason to be so picky? Just pondering...

[Asker]

I'm not alone. But neither found a good guy that I want to settle down with. I know I'm good at sex cos I get told I am and guys beg for more and even one night stands from over decade ago still remember me when I don't remember them 🤷‍♀️ exes beg for more chances too. But it's not just about sex.

[LC75LC71]

Actually at 37 I said fuck it, no more relationships! And have kept to that for over a decade now unlike this site and their bullshit changes.

[Anonymous]

I think if those two things top your list you should probably be alone anyways. It's best for everyone.👍

[Asker]

What two things? I gave examples to explain imperfect means things hard to live with not an expectation of absolute perfection. I'm not perfect and I put up with a lot including abusive jealous relationships. But if the alternative is growing old isolated is that really better?

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, if you tolerate abuse you are only re-inforcing my suggestion. It's always better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong ones.👍

[Anonymous]

yes, because any one else would come with baggage of decades of relationships.

[LiamJHayden]

As long as the faults are not deal breakers, yes.