Should couples be satisfied with knowing their partners "enough" and not seek to knowing them better as the years go on?

[Kay-C]

My husband says he knows me well enough and never asks questions to get to know me better. When I tell him he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does, his reply is, "I know you well enough". It hurts me that he doesn't care to know me better and how I have changed and now I have different wants and desires and interests. He assumes he knows me but then there are things he does that just point out that he really doesn't know me. When I share with him some of my wants he gets defensive and says nothing he does is ever good enough. Obviously our communication style sucks and there is a lot we need help with and he refuses to go to any counseling with me.

[OnTheLevel]

Couples should never stop learning about each other. To think differently is to think that people never change. I know I'm not the same person with the same interests as I was when I was 20. Neither is my wife. To stop wanting to dig deeper is, frankly, troubling.

[WellGreetingsISay]

No, I believe you should keep getting to know each other more and more.
My wife and I ask each other questions and tell each other about things every day.

[SnowedIn]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh dear me. I am SO sorry. That sucks and is f-ed up beyond belief. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

You are 600,000% right: we've gotta keep learning about each other.

[Guy13]

That’s not possible. We learn more whether we want to or not OR like what we do and do not learn about our partner

[Guardian45]

I'm sorry to say this but he HAS to meet you halfway. IF he DOESN'T want to do this, then you're gonna have to have a plan of action!

[Likes2drive]

I would always want to know as much as possible about my spouse, so I don’t understand why he acts like that so maybe couples therapy could help

[Kay-C]

I wish but he refuses to go to therapy.

[Likes2drive]

Well, just go yourself and then watch he might want to go because he’ll wonder what you’re saying about him to the therapist. It’s a trick that usually works.

[Kay-C]

I already go to a therapist by myself. He knows I talk about him. I don't think he wants to know or be made to feel bad by an outsider. I'd probably want to start fresh with a new therapist if he decided to go with me.

[Likes2drive]

That pretty much shows he just doesn’t really care, but you could try a new therapist, but it really seems like he doesn’t care

[Kay-C]

It seems that way to me too but then he does a lot for me to show me he cares he just can't communicate. And he says it is not his personality to ask questions.

[Likes2drive]

So basically, he’s terrible at communication

[Jennz6]

We all change

[KrakenAttackin]

Maybe you are not that interesting.

[Kay-C]

Lol.. well maybe not. But maybe he is also scared to find out how interesting I am if he opened up that can of worms.

[KrakenAttackin]

Don't think so. Chad kept moving down the line of chicks ready to smash.