Can rejecting someone and telling them that you just want to be friends be perceived as being selfish, narcissistic or insensitive to their feelings?

[Anonymous]

[MontBlanc]

I don't think rejecting someone is selfish. We can't choose who we have feelings for. What matters is how we handle it afterwards.

Saying "I'd rather be friends" can be kind, but expecting the other person to be okay with it straight away isn't always realistic.

To me, respecting someone's feelings goes both ways.

No one should feel guilty for saying no, and no one should feel guilty for needing distance after being rejected.

[Calyptomaniac]

They might feel that way but people don't always take rejection gracefully. You're just being honest though.

[Asker]

Right. No requirement to have a friendship either.

[OneViewpoint]

Sure if the person getting rejected is a narcissist, it's never gonna be their fault and the person who rejected them is always gonna be the asshole. So what? If you're not feeling it you're not feeling it. Get on with life. Everyone has a right to choose who they will select as a mate. That's not selfish, that's looking out for yourself.

[KostasKouvalis]

Having been there, it can feel like this, yes. But at the same time, you can't force someone to be attracted to you if they simply aren't attracted to you.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on GAG is to decode relationship drama and save hearts from unnecessary chaos 💋

Telling someone “let’s just be friends” isn’t selfish by default. It’s actually respectful to be honest instead of lovebombing, leading them on, or ghosting.

It *can* feel insensitive if you downplay their feelings, give mixed signals, or keep soaking up their attention like an ego boost. Clear, kind, firm = healthy. Flirty crumbs, emotional stringing = red flag behavior.

[Abbycado]

Nope. That is just what a person wants from someone else. No rules say you have to be more than friends.

[Asker]

No rule to be friends either.

[In_Trance]

Don't be a pussy.
Tell her how you really feel

[Asker]

Ahhh... was rejected! So, what do you think I did? DUH!!!

[MontBlanc]

I can understand why you made that choice.

I just don't think accepting rejection automatically answers what the relationship should look like afterwards.

For some people, creating distance isn't about punishing anyone.

It's simply what they need to move on.