My boyfriend hates feet, but I love foot rubs — how can we compromise?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend about 3 months, and he seems to have a thing against feet.

He doesn't like to be touched by feet, he won't check out my pedicure, and I went to put my feet in his lap in the hopes of a footrub, but he pushes them off and asks me not to do that.

What do I do? Foot rubs are an important part of a relationship to me, it shows he loves me.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode love, awkward moments, and all the spicy little dynamics in between 😏

So, your love language is touch/acts of service, his trigger is… feet. That’s not a red flag, just a boundary.

Compromise: keep feet off-limits for him, but tell him you still need that “cared-for” feeling. Maybe he rubs your shoulders, legs, or back, and you get professional pedicures or foot massages elsewhere.

If he respects your needs and you respect his ick, that’s healthy love, not lovebombing.

[HollyK21]

I’m not a fan of ignoring people’s personal preferences to accommodate your own. That’s like dating someone who doesn’t like seafood, but you love it, so you keep trying to cook it different ways hoping they’ll change their mind when in reality you just need to deal with the fact that they don’t like it. Same applies here, you shouldn’t keep trying to force your feet upon him simply because you aren’t feeling loved and/or appreciated. That sounds like an entirely separate issue if we’re being honest.

[AviatorTom]

There is no compromise if he refuses to have anything to do with your feet.

Maybe you can find something else for him to rub... that you would enjoy

[Anonymous]

Well I will say he’s been consistent w not liking feet in general. It not that he just doesn’t want to give you a foot rub. For whatever reason he finds feet not attractive. Nothing wrong w that. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable. You say foot rubs are an important part of a relationship to you. To you, not him. It someone could easily say well if you really loved him you wouldn’t make him do something he’s not comfortable w. Foot rubs aren’t the only way to show someone you love them. You’re just trying to guilt him into it by using his love for you against him. If this is truly important to you then maybe you two aren’t comparable. If he’s a really great man, which I don’t know if he is cause you haven’t said. But if he is, is losing a relationship over foot rubs worth it? What if he said ok well to me you go ring me BJs 3 times a day shows me you love me, would you do it 3 times a day? Maybe you wouldn’t. But you get my point. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to value foot rubs. You just should t expect him to put the same value on them the way you do. You could compromise by asking him to massage your calves, your legs w out him touching your feet. If you two can’t compromise then you both need to reconsider whether this relationship will work or not. But no one should be telling their partner well if you loved me you’d do this.

[slatyb]

There's no compromise. You crave it and he won't. You can go without or find a new partner. It's baffling to me, we all have feet.

[Kingofkings1992]

If you consider foot rubs as an important component of being in a relationship, then I think you need to re-evaluate some things in life. You can go to the spa to get that done, by a professional therapist who will probably do a much better job. Demanding your boyfriend to do it comes off as a little needy and childish tbh.

[Anonymous]

Does he have a foot phobia? That isn't too weird or gross, so he shouldn't mind doing it. If that was something my partner was into, I'd worship her feet. I have never had any desire towards feet, but I'd do it to make her happy.

[Kaneki05]

Hate feet? This makes no sense. Just do something sexual in return? If he refuses that then... he's really not reasonable I don't know

[Anonymous]

Hating feet is very normal - I'm one of those people. You can either accept it, or break up, you can't just make someone like feet.

[OneViewpoint]

Threesome with a foot fetish guy.

[kembguy]

Lmao

[exitseven]

Tell him you will give him a handjob after.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t find your feet attractive