Feminists, where do you see yourself in 20 years?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how a lot of feminist women think they'll all get a certain type of man to marry them. I'm sure you've seen how many of your female friends tend to like the same guys and I'm guessing you may have seen some enemies made because two women were after the same man. Doesn't that alone tell you that you're literally competing with each other?

When you also consider the fact that you know you suspect that your friends lie (you yourself may even lie to them), and you know deep down that a lot of the modern feminist agenda is designed to benefit women at the expense of men typically. Would a generous and loving person push these ideas? Or would someone out for their own benefit push these? Think about it: a lot of your feminist companions are out for themselves and wouldn't care if you remained single until you got old and died. Many of them want you to hate men so you never find love.

I urge you to do a thought experiment: when you were kids, what boys did you like? Did they fit your current standards? If not, why did you like them? Why are your standards what they are today - did you choose them or did peer pressure choose them for you? Were you bullied when you were younger by people who are now feminists?

It isn't easy to tell yourself the truth because you may end up losing your friends, but you may also end up with a sense of relief because you have removed the yoke they had on you. Do not lie to yourself.

Updates

14 d

Let me make a clear distinction: I am speaking to the UNMARRIED feminist women - the ones who are married have different incentives since they have already got a man on a financial leash with the help of divorce laws, so they've got no skin in the game.

Thanks to the married feminists for pointing this out.

[Anonymous]

You make the mistake of thinking just because being single forever scare you it scares us too. It does not. And you’re talking about the evil feminists who have a selfish agenda as if you and men like you don’t. Your agenda is that women should fall back in line so you can control them and so that you don’t have pick between remaining single or lower your standards. You want to be able to easily get the women you want, and you want it without having to better yourself. All while thinking women should lower their standards because their standards are wrong, too high or doesn’t really matter - all because you can’t meet them.

And to answer your question:

In 20 years I believe I’ll be single and not dating. Just like now and the past 8 years. That’s what I plan and expect. When I was a child I never liked any boys. I never had a crush on someone. When I was a teen I had a crush on a guy at school and a couple (very few) other guys at school I found cute. I had a crush o a guy from a tv-show as well as a teen. Those guys are all the same type (both in terms of physical features and personality) that I’m still attracted to today (but in a grown version obviously). Nobody has ever told me what to like in a guy, it has never even come up as a topic at all. In fact I wouldn’t have been interested in any of my friends partners. Believe it or not, but we clearly don’t have the same taste and standards when looking for a man. I’ve never been bullied.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer. I'll address your claims in your first paragraph:

I am also not afraid of being single. I don't even think most guys are afraid of being single - it's when I ask women why they would want to be in a relationship that they tell me they want companionship. Maybe you're not one of them.
To say women should "fall back in line" is an overdramatization - I think modern feminism is about selfishness and claiming victimhood for things that happened to women in the past and not to modern women. The crazy thing is that a lot of much older women (the ones you guys claim were oppressed) hold views that conflict directly with modern feminism. So what is that about? I think feminism should stop claiming it's about equality and admit it is about benefitting women at the expense of men. I have no issue with women making their own decisions.
I also never thought I could get the woman I wanted without having to better myself. There are some men I see that seem to think that "everyone deserves love", but I am not one of them. This is a lie that they've heard mostly from women in their lives (typically mothers).

Why are you single?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they'll marry a woman lol

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Hmm, I see myself in 20 years in my late 60s, still married and still supporting women's rights to choose who they want to be or not be with.

Men hate this philosophy because it takes away their supposed power over women's decisions. Instead of some men working on themselves to be better partners, they whine instead about feminism and try to guilt women into feeling bad about our choices. They call us cat women, used up, and other derogatory names just because those kinds of men can't get laid and instead they lash out like children hoping that they can manipulate some woman into doubting herself and settling for less than what she's worth.

Instead of trying to guilt women back into a role we have fought so hard to get out of because it was demeaning and subservient, why can't those men try to improve on themselves to make them better human beings and desirable to women?

Sounds like a simple solution to me.

[Asker]

Is this the framework you use to decide which man you get? That's interesting. It looks like there is no objective thing you use to decide which man you choose, rather you measure how much value you think you have and use that to gauge how good of a man you could get. Why do you take this approach?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Why do men take this approach? They are sure as fuck not "settling". That's why this whole incel logic about women being lonely in 20 years is a farce. It's an endorphin boost for lonely men who make no effort to make themselves desirable.

"Neg" women into doubting themselves when men want perfect 10s and when those women's looks fade, start looking at a fresh batch of 20somethings to manipulate.

Men who think that feminism is somehow harming women need to do some serious soul searching into why they are lonely themselves. It's not our fault those kinds of men's personalities suck.

[Asker]

Do you not want to be understood? You have a genuine opportunity to explain to me why you take the approach you do. I am listening.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

It's a blend of knowing what we are worth and trying to find the best possible mate based on traits in them we find desirable. If we choose not to look for anything permanent then that's fine too because we know our worth and what we do or don't want.

[Asker]

So is the husband you have your ideal husband or just the best you could get?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I have a wife, not a husband, but I do also have a boyfriend so I will answer thr question.

He is honestly perfect. He's thoughtful and considerate. He loves me unconditionally. We are still in that honeymoon phase 3 years in. He's incredibly handsome to me. He spoils me rotten. He's patient. He's great with the kids. I honestly have no complaints about him at all.

[Asker]

Is the boyfriend your ideal though?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Absolutely is. Like i said I have no complaints about him at all

[msmissydc]

So a married feminst would destroy your complete fictional scenario. No I dont see how many women only like the same guy. Thats another incel rhetoric thats not real in reality. I have never seen two women friends become enemie over a man. Thats maybe incel wishthinking but exceptionally rare.

I see myself in 20 years at a similar situation than today. Of cozrse I want to progress in life. Maybe have a different focus in my job or a different area.

[Asker]

That's a good point on the married feminists. I've corrected my question to address the unmarried ones. Are you married?

[msmissydc]

Yes I am. I love how all you hypothetical scenarios dont even survive first contact with real feminists🤣🤣.

[Asker]

You're making things up now. Explain to me the hypocrisy.

[msmissydc]

You said, that its common that multiple women chase the same men in a friend group. That argument is quoted a lot from incel and redpills but originally is from a study specifically concerning online dating and has been disproven to utside of that.
You said that most femibist agenda is against men. Which is untrue as well. Name one widely feminist agenda that this applies to? On the opposite I can name a few widely accepted feminists agenda points that benefit men as well.
You corrected yourself so that it doesn't apply to married feminists. So your claim that feminust only chase specific men stopps applying The moment they actually get a real men?
At least be concistence.

[Asker]

I did not say that it is common for multiple women chase the same men in a friend group - you have made incorrect assumptions to fill stuff in. I said "female friends tend to like the same guys" and that "you may have seen some enemies made because two women were after the same man". The second quote is not referring to the friend group - do women not frequently see drama in shows and on social media? My phrasing was intentionally ambiguous.

A lot of the feminist agenda is designed to benefit women at the expense of men. Example: resources being split in half as a result of divorce. Women tend to be the ones bringing less resources into the marriage and hence benefit when resources are split in half. Another example: child support. Women are typically either granted custody and are hence the ones being paid OR they earn less and are hence paid. Another example/question: Why don't women push for more representation in construction jobs? They only seem to care about the high-paid or prestigious jobs. Name the agendas that benefit men also - it will be new knowledge for me.

What is that stuff you are saying about "real men"? Are you a "real woman"? How do you determine what a "real man" is?

[Nikki1989]

I will still be happily married to the same wonderful man that I have been with since 2009.

And I still won't be cowardly trolling behind an anonymous profile.

[Asker]

Good for you. It seems to me that every opinion that isn't nonsensical stuff that benefits women is "trolling" according to you and your patrol.

[Jewelmyth]

Which feminist upset you, bro?

[Asker]

Let me know the results of your thought experiment. I'm sure you're very aware of the fact that you'll get less male attention when you get older, so this should be relevant to you.

[Jewelmyth]

I don't even care about men, I'm not even a feminist, but you guys are pathetic. By the time you turn 30, you're going bald and huge bellies are showing.

[Asker]

Why are men pathetic?

[Jewelmyth]

You and those like you are in a pathetic situation.

[Asker]

Were you not the one crying about how people never consider that girls are "deeply depressed" and that they go for an older man because he gave them "attention"? If anything is pathetic, that attention-seeking definitely is. Do not project that nonsense onto me.

[Jewelmyth]

I wasn't seeking attention; I simply acted on the belief that a man would truly love and value me, but he didn't keep his word.

[Asker]

So a man gave you attention and you decided to get into a relationship with him because of that, presumably because you assumed you would get more attention, yet you weren't seeking attention? There is no problem with wanting attention, the problem is the fact that you are calling me and other men pathetic, meanwhile you were seeking attention from men (who are pathetic according to you). Remove that double standard.

[Jewelmyth]

I saw your update, I think men in America don't like women there, so they're turning to foreign women. I'm really curious why you're like this, what did American women do to you?

[Asker]

This is my understanding of the situation: feminist women in America claim they are oppressed when they're clearly not - they are using that oppression lie as leverage to exploit the whole of society to benefit women. Just think about it - if ANYONE did that at your expense (not just women), would you not be angry? Would you want to pay someone money that lied about how you did something to them when you did not?

Western women have not done anything to me YET because I have not allowed it to be done, but if you look at the other conversations I'm having in this same question, you'll see one woman screaming about "consent" because I asked a question. This is the impression I get from western women in general - they are abusing their free speech to spread reckless lies and they know what they're doing, yet they try to pass themselves off as caring. They are evil.

[Jewelmyth]

Yes, this is a bad situation. Actually, if I were a man, I probably wouldn't have gotten married either because in America, women are given so many rights after divorce.

[Agape93]

Dead most likely 💀 🔫

[Asker]

Aren't you 34? Why would you be dead in 20 years?

[Agape93]

Suicide or medical issues

[Asker]

Are you married?

[Agape93]

Does it matter?

[Asker]

Does anything matter? I asked you because I want to know. It matters to that extent.

[Agape93]

Then it isn't your concern

[Asker]

So you can tell me that you're suicidal with medical issues but not that you're married or not? You seem to be looking for attention.

[Agape93]

So im attention seeking, because I dont want to humor an anons nosey question? It's well established im suicidal. I get fuck all attention from it, and what would that attention net me? Nothing.

[Agape93]

It's been 2 hours and as many of my friends are already commenting on your post. Know why they're not discussing it? Because they already know. It's a banality.

[Asker]

You just said "it's well established" that you're suicidal. So you've been going around telling people? Why were you telling them if they weren't paying attention since you get "fuck all attention from it"? You're clearly seeking attention.

And apparently it is nosey for me to ask about your marriage situation - you're probably just insecure about it. That does not mean I am at fault for asking. Somehow you're willing to tell me you're suicidal though: surely that information is more private than information about marriage.

[Agape93]

Correct, because I've no need to hide that fact. Hiding it does me no good.

Again, no. If i wanted attention, id make that shit abundantly clear. Like telling them I have a gun to my temple, or that I love them and to not cry later, or some emotional manipulation.

Why would i be insecure? I dont like strangers asking details about my romantic or sex life. Asking about it, to me, is nosey. I keep most of my relationship details private. My mental health issues? No. I'm quite open about it. Always have been.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

What kind of fucked up thought process do you have to have to be pressing on someone to be "seeking attention" when they discuss their mental issues? This is why this country is awful when it comes to mental healthcare.

You have someone being open and honest about their struggles, maybe helping others who go through the same thing, and then some asshole comes along and starts harassing her about that openness.

It's obvious that sharing relationship information is mostly off-limits here. Maybe just to you specifically since you seem to have an agenda. Just accept that you don't need to know and cut that nonsense out about "seeking attention"

[Asker]

@Ez-Bri-Z_v2 This woman tried to frame me as if I was the one at fault for asking about her marital status when I could ask many other people who would easily give me an answer. Yet, she did not bat an eye before telling me about her suicidal tendencies. I see no issue with her sharing her suicidal outlook or her medical issues or even wanting to keep her marital status private - the issue I have is her trying to take a moral high ground by calling me "nosey". I am not at fault. You can call what you want "fucked up".

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

It's fucked up because you forgot the cardinal rule of consent. She said no and instead of accepting that, you insulted her by saying she was attention seeking and not taking no for an answer.

You think you can just force people to do what you want. Thank the powers that be that we dont have to deal with that kind of thought process in person with you.

[Asker]

@Ez-Bri-Z_v2 Consent is not a "cardinal rule". I don't need to ask for consent to ask a question. She can simply answer the question or not answer it (she chose not to). You're just regurgitating your feminist keywords.

You are the one that needs to hear that message: "YOU can't just force people to do what you want", in fact, every feminist needs to hear that message.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

She did say no and you pushed. I am not regurgitating anything. You just tried to brute force and shame your way into an answer. Once you were told no, that should have been it, but noooooo, that wasn't good enough for you.

The only message we need to hear is stay vigilant against guys who can't take no for an answer. Those kinds of guys are the predatory type.

[Asker]

@Ez-Bri-Z_v2 She did not say "no", she asked me if it mattered, to which I responded, "... I asked you because I want to know. It matters to that extent." Then she told me it isn't my concern. When did I push? I simply pointed out her attention-seeking behaviour and you're acting like I've committed a sin. Relax, you are the one who is incorrect in assuming I am at fault. Mistakes can be made.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

That's a soft no. Learn to read the room. You then became insulting. You are the one making mistakes. Stop it.

[Asker]

@Ez-Bri-Z_v2 How about you people learn to say things directly instead of expecting people to read your minds? And again, I do not need consent to ask a question - don't tell me how to act as if your way of acting is the ideal. I certainly do not want to be you, nor do I approve of the way you act.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Did you get a direct answer where she told you the answer you wanted? Then that's her rejecting you. Some guys, maybe a lot, dont seem to understand that. They are too dumb to realize that the word no is not the only word that can be used to reject them and even then they don't seem to listen. They only hear what they want to hear. You are a perfect example of this.

And I can tell you whatever I want, remember? You said you don't need consent for these kinds of things. It's an open forum. I also don't care if you approve of me or not. You don't even understand rejection and keep pressuring women to do what you want. That's predatory behavior. Not something anyone should emulate.

On that note, I am done with you and your creepy and aggressive ways, plus poor Agape has to get spammed with our back and forth and I am not going to do that to her anymore because I know how to respect boundaries where as you don't. You'll probably even make another post on here just to prove me right.

[Asker]

@Ez-Bri-Z_v2 You're just spewing nonsense. Everything you say is coded as if you think there has been a sexual assault or something - "consent", "rejection", "creepy", "boundaries". What do these things have to do with anything here? And you seem to think you can call people dumb when you can't even see that none of that stuff is relevant. Think before you regurgitate.