I supported my boyfriend when he was jobless, now he won't help me—what should I do?

[Anonymous]

[Mark_Est]

Most say dump him. But really, look into why is that? Why did you pick some low value modern dude? What made you do it?

You are still young. Hopefully you didn't open your legs to some randoms (bfs included).

Traditional men have respect, honour, duty etc. However traditional men only date traditional women for traditional relationship, marriage.

So, are you a traditional woman? Essentially a fit feminine friendly virgin?

If not, then what traditional outcomes are you really expecting from modern dudes, being a modern woman yourself?

Sure, you may dump him and possibly a good idea, to avoid people who dont care about you, but then what is the alternative? Or what is the next step? To go get another modern dude and start again? Or go try to trick some traditional man into dating you?

Most things in life don't just happen randomly.

[ohsheeT]

Say good bye. You showed him who you were a a person and as someone that loves does that you help you give thats what love is

He just proved to you how much he loves you how much he cares and he doesn't walk away because believe me you are a good person and there's many guys out there that would love to have you as a girlfriend he's not going to change I'm telling you right now just walk away he prove to you who he is you don't need any more proof or heartache

[7Phoenix7]

He won’t help you with what?

I’d be looking at him VERY differently... I wouldn’t expect him to “pay me back” for every little thing I did while he was struggling, but if I held him down when he had nothing and now he’s doing better and won’t even help me when I need it?
Yeah no… that tells me a lot. I’d have a serious conversation with him and if he still didn’t see the problem, I’d probably be done.

[NoDecision]

Drop him like the loser that he is. If he can't/won't help you when you are in need, then he won't any other time either. I mean, who needs that?

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode messy relationship dynamics and spill the honest tea.

You didn’t just support him, you basically did emotional and financial CPR, and now he’s ghosting your needs. That’s a huge red flag. Stop mothering him. Calmly tell him what you need and what you expect. If he still refuses, see that as who he really is, not who you hoped he’d be. Then prioritize yourself, not his comfort.

[HawkPerception]

Relationships are all about reciprocation. You seem like a giver and he seems like an ungrateful partner without any or a strong desire to reciprocate. That speaks volumes about his character. The right decision would be to explain to him that you want him to support you as much as you supported him and if he refuses, dump his ass.

[Finchie40]

Are you jobless now? The fact that he isn’t helping you now, gives you a valid reason to dump his ass considering he used you when he was jobless , so if you are jobless and he isn’t helping you then it’s time for you to move on from his using ass

[DishLady]

You're not supposed to be in a relationship or to do something good to someone just to get an ROI when you want stuff. If this bothers you, though, you should mention it to him.

[AviatorTom]

Tell him exactly what you expect him to do in your relationship, and if he doesn't do it, find someone else who respects you, not uses you.

[Chazmatazz269]

Help yourself and kick the deadbeat to the curb. Why is this even a question?

[OlderAndWiser]

You should probably find a real boyfriend instead of an imposter.

[RavVid]

The implication in the question is that you are jobless as he was and he won't in turn reciprocate the financial support. However it is not explicitly stated and I don't like making assumptions - so I won't.

The difference between a relationship and a transaction is of course that a relationship is based on delayed reciprocation. You've done something for me so I, as the opportunity arises, do something for you. Not necessarily of the same financial value or time investment. Your partner freely doing X has a value of it's own.

We could better advise if you told us how he won't help.

Generally if your partner won't reciprocate then it is not a relationship to be in.

[Anonymous]

You made mistake in life, but it is okay. Forgive yourself and remember your happiness, peace, and God are priority.

You know now to never make a broke joke like your boyfriend a thing ever again. You get the money you need and move out.

Find a partner who respects you. Whenever a woman asks me from money and I barely know her the conversation ends right there. You need to do the same with you and your money and peace it mind.

You need to protect your peace and not let people pull you out of that. You need to protect that because a lot of people hate seeing peacefully relaxed.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Love is a wonderful thing & when it comes to supporting each other that should be a two way street. When your boyfriend didn’t have a job you supported him & now that the tables have turned he’s not supporting you. Honestly I think you should tell him to go pound sand & you two should part ways because if he’s not supporting you now he’s probably not going to support you in the future either.

[AMS700CX4u2]

I hear the sound of a machete slicing throught the air to sever the ties that bind. Evidently he come from a family that taught him sic council. You will not change him. Go find someone that loves you. Narcissism is difficult to reroute especially whe4n it is reinforced by social groups.

[Lesbologist]

You learn that quid pro quo don't work with this guy. Either his dick is so good you'll accept that, or you'll understand this isn't exactly the best choice in a partner. The fact that both of you keep running into money problems makes me think you're both losers. Absolutly pathetic. Stay off my lawn.

[Screenwriter]

I expect you are jobless for the present and you need his help. But as one responder said, maybe this wasn't explicitly stated. So state it and if he feels he shouldn't help you in return for your helping him, which is what a couple should do for each other, it would seem your relationship is at an end. Good luck.

[lightbulb27]

He sounds selfish.

He'd need a lot of training to realize and then have a heart to reciprocate. Maybe worth a try, just to see if can make progress. But...

Unless you want a lot of work, toss that one back to the fish pond and write it off as a "stupid tax". You'll wisen up, or you will spend a lot more stupid tax. That's kinda life sometimes.

[melnc]

If that were me? I'd end it. Plain and simple. No fights, no arguments, no drawn out speeches, just dump and done. His actions already told you everything you need to know about how he sees you. Ain't worth another word. Some people don't deserve your explanation. Walk away and don't look back.

[jshm2]

Well... can he help you? He might be in a more dire position than you.

Just because you've helped someone does not mean their situations are now over and they can now help you.

But if he can help you, but won't, that is a different matter.

[Anonymous]

He won’t help you w what? We need co text? He won’t help you financially? He won’t help you strangle someone? Just how much help are you asking for? How long did you support him for? When you say supported him when he was jobless what exactly does supported him mean? Paid for his food, bills, spending money?

[postaldudePL123]

The truth is, people do not always treat us the way we treat them. When we help someone, we should do it because we want to, not because we want a favor back. If we expect them to pay us back, we usually end up disappointed.

Still, wanting your boyfriend to support you is normal. He is showing you right now how he acts when things get tough. He just does not see relationships the same way you do.

[Kassandra1994]

Wow he is so evil. This is why it is vest to stay single men just take over your peaceful energy. His mom made a horrible job raising him.

[FreyaRed]

Dump him after you find a job and you don't need him anymore.

[loveslongnails]

What part of DUMP HIM do you not understand? Is there some reason you see him as a person you want in your life going forward?

[Asker]

Well people told me if I left him just because he’s jobless I’m wrong and that should stick by his side n help him out

[loveslongnails]

And you stayed, but now he won't help you, so why would you continue to stay? He's showing you who and what he really is, and it's not good. If you stay with a person like this, by your own choice, you deserve whatever you get.

[Bricealan]

I think you should separate yourself from him

[dragoblack]

Put your foot down and give him an ultimatum, to start stepping up and start helping or the relationship will end, because you want a loving relationship, not parent raising of a man-child who can't be self-sufficient.

[blueonblack22]

Why do women seem to fall in love with these types yet pass up responsible men?

[molonski2]

Some further detail required to answer correctly , the statement ( not a question ) says NOTHING.

[itss_lily]

talk to him about it first, and if that doesn't work, find someone else

[OneViewpoint]

I think you should get pregnant by him. That will fix this.

[browsingthroughthe]

That's savage / savagery of him 🥲
What, a, player

[Miristheiss]

LoL.

How does it feel being the "man"?

[Sickworld]

You are a helping soul like me. He is just using you. I bet he likes toxic and sick people. You are too normal

[Sickworld]

men want to marry a girl with a rich and powerful dad. They won't tell anyone about it and instead they will do all kind of shit to a girl.

[tzdc21]

Leave him. If he won't reciprocate your efforts then you need to drop him like a bad habit.

[exitseven]

dump him. If somebody cannot support you when times are tough they are garbage people.

[Kingofkings1992]

Being 18-24, I highly doubt that you actually supported another person. You are literally just barely crossing into the threshold of adulthood, and many people your age still receive financial assistance from your parents. So, I call BS

[Alex-Snow]

Dump him. He sounds like a looser. How old is he?

[Anonymous]

He is a loser. You helped him but he can't help you.

Everyone here is telling you to dump him.

Please don't fall in that trap.

[zagor]

In what way isn't he helping you?

Might be time to find another penis.

[LiamJHayden]

Move on and find someone who appreciates you.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

He's showing you who he is.

Get rid of him..

[msc545]

Next time, use better judgment when selecting a boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Don't date men who can't support themselves.

[Anonymous]

Stop asking stupid questions is what you should do. Literally read what you asked back to yourself.

[sossana]

Send him an invoice for everything you paid for and get that bag back girl!!!

[Kelley1]

Move on and don't look back.

[Flower7]

Help you with what?

[EmmaMary]

What do you think/feel you should do?

[Chelsdope0]

This is why you don’t help men

[MrChinaski]

Leave. And learn.

[BubblyJoyBaby]

Break up with him…

[AngryCarl3]

Looks like you picked a wrong 'un.

[Anonymous]

Obviously end it.

[martian13]

Get rid of the lazy bum

[canamlusciouslad73]

DUMP DAT DUDE !!!

[Staximus]

Stop supporting shameless taker bums

[Staximus]

Leave that meatsack.

[Erica8]

Dump him he’s leach suck you dry.

[kaucky1]

If not even satisfied give boot to curb

[Agape93]

Leave him

[RepleteAura]

I would leave. Relationships are teamwork

[Hulk30]

ya should definitely leave

[Dora86]

Cause he’s about himself.

[DecentMan]

Walk away !

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Ice 'em