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So.. I feel like people always say love should be 50/50, (and I agree…) but I don’t think it always works out that perfectly lol.
Sometimes one person is just a little more attached, expressive, or invested than the other.
So if you had to choose, would you rather be the one who loves more, or the one who is loved more?
I’d rather be the one who loves more…I feel women are naturally nurturing, and I genuinely enjoy caring for the person I love. I want to give them comfort, affection, loyalty, and support.. to love them like a best friend, and a partner all at once. For me, loving deeply isn’t aburden; it’s something that makes me happy…
Love more because it comes naturally to me to give without necessarily expecting anything in return. Many say it's wrong because you always give more than you are given but for that one person it's worth it.
Thank you!!! 🫶
My aim on GAG is to decode love stuff so you don’t go crazy overthinking it 😏
I’d rather have it *slightly* balanced in my favor: be loved just a bit more. Being the one who loves way more can feel like emotional begging, walking on eggshells, and chasing breadcrumbs.
But only being adored without truly loving back feels hollow, almost like unintentional lovebombing.
Best case: both people are obsessed… just not in a red flag way 😌
Opinion
35Opinion
Loved more. It's not a great feeling giving and not receiving. Reciprocation is key for any relationship. I love to give, but I'd also want them to be a giver. I guess I can kinda relate this to sex. Let's say I go down on a girl for an hour because I like it. While it's true I like knowing I'm making my partner feel really good for a long period of time, I'd want them to feel the same and also want to give me that same kind of pleasure, ya know?
If I had to choose between always being the giver (which I generally seem to be in my relationships) and being given to, I think I'd prefer being given to. But then I'd feel kinda crappy in another way in that I'm not a great partner. So obviously the best dynamic is a good balance and as close to equal as possible.
This is one of the reasons that i quit dating. The intrinsic power dynamics are overwhelming. I had been used and abused too many times as the giver. So much so that i decided i couldn’t be a taker either because i refuse to be the villain in someone else’s story.
Since perfectly equal partnerships are made out of unicorns’ horns, i decided that it was best just to bow out. I refuse to be used and i refuse to use anyone else.
It's never 50/50 its more like 100/100 because sometimes if someone can't give you there 50 you have to give it to yourself
So for me i would rather give love because I know i will be ok and know sometimes people. can't give you the love you would like to receive from them
Having always been the one to give more in a relationship I would love to know what it's like to be the one who's loved a bit more.
Love is not a measurable quantity. You either love someone, or you don't.
In a good relationship, each partner loves the other.
Well i'd like to say "equal" but nothing in relationship is ever really equal. But ideally both partners give what they can. Not 50/50, it's 100/100.
I have no problem giving 100% to the person i know is in the foxhole with me. What's hard is getting to the point where you can believe they're that person. So many people in life want TRUST, well trust is EARNED, not given.
I do think when you truly love someone loving them is just a decision you make. Because regardless of how long you're with someone, be it 5 days or 50 years, you'll always be two different people. And loving someone while disliking them is fairly normal.🤣 Because while there are things about them that exasperate you at times. There is still no one you'd rather face the world with. You still think the sun shines out their ass. And you know and trust that person will be there to help pick you up in your lowest moment.
Unfortunately that level of intimacy and trust is still rare in this world.
It depends I think there's always a kind of balance even if it's not balanced in every area overall it is usually pretty balanced in my opinion. And if it becomes too imbalanced then it can't last usually. The thing is a person might not even see or value certain things. Then they think I'm doing more but the other person thinks things are balanced or they're doing more.
I just had to end a 5 year friendship because I'm very focused on mental health and growth. This other person they basically didn't see any value in that kind of thing. They only considered favours like I'll do something for you that's related to my work like help you with a legal thing or I'll get you something you want etc. Mental stuff basically was all not even real to them (they took benzos for their anxiety and just ran away from their issues and pretended nothing was wrong) . But they still wanted to rely on my emotional support every day. They didn't see an imbalance but I did.
In the beginning things were more balanced but it changed over time.
Our perspective on things is not always perfectly aligned with reality so we also don't have a perfect idea of what the other person is doing or sacrificing for us etc. We do have a feeling but in some situations reality and what we see might be quite far apart.
I think as balanced as possible is good. Feeling like your giving and not getting back sucks. But feeling like the other person is giving you so much and you're not capable of giving them more is not the best feeling either tbh. If the other person doesn't mind it's better but it still would be something that I'd try to adress and change if possible.
I don't think love can be estimated exactly enough, because love is volatile. It comes sometimes, it disappears sometimes for a while until a trigger activates it again, love isn't a constant like speed of light that can be described with 'c =1'
Of course being love feels good but what for can you buy with something that is like love. In one moment a person wants to sacrifice their life for you, 2 hours later you're just a competitor like everyone else.
But maybe I'm wrong. it's just the love I experienced in my life.
As you indicated, knowing who loves who more is a blurred line on a fog covered field. I don't worry much about that. As long as I'm getting the respect I require and feel loved, I'm good. It's not a contest. It's about the effort. The moment she starts taking me for granted, she gets a wakeup call. The second time she's gone. No exceptions. And I wish her the best of luck trying to manipulate me. I'll choose my self respect first every time.
Lol I don't know where such questions come from 😄 but good in a way.
I think it is flexible going back and forth.
As said that love matures people and makes them grow, I see it as love is responsibility.
So the more we love, the more we give.
So maybe the more we want to be loved, the more dependable we are to be, in concept.
But if we just want love like so, then that'll be bad.
Hehe I hope it makes sense.
I prefer to be the one that loves more. Being the one who loves more means you left nothing on the table. If the relationship ends, you carry the peace of knowing you gave your absolute best.
it never works that way, some delicate flowers still believes equality in any sense is real. no, nothing is equal, equality is as real as me being the first fallen angel since the dawn of humanity, do you believe i am satan himself? i doubt it, so you should not believe equality either.
for the question: i don't want to be the one who loves, i don't want to love either, i just want to lust, she might be the one who does both.
As a girl, I’d rather be loved more. Not because I don’t want to love deeply, but because I’ve realized how exhausting it can be to constantly question whether someone feels the same way you do. I want a love where I feel chosen, appreciated, and secure—not one where I’m always giving more and hoping they eventually catch up. But honestly, the best kind of love is when neither person has to measure who loves more because both people show up for each other.
I would wanna love more if I know I’m loved enough for her not to leave me high and dry.
Because I’ve been “loved more” in the past and it wasn’t easy.
I felt guilty and spent time with her as a kind of repayment for her undying love.
The breakup wasn’t easy either.
50 50 would be a dream but the sweet spot would be 60 40 my way
You are right that it is best equal and it has a tendency to equalize anyway. But it can never be equal and equal at all times This evening you might be less loving than the evening before.
Overall it is better if the girl is a little more adoring.
m ... Unless there's a blatant disproportion, I don't see how to quantify something as personal as feelings. And when one of us tries to quantify it anyway it's probably not a good sign right? 😂
Lol. Yes. I'm pretty sure that's what divorce lawyers are for.
I wasn't thinking about divorce lawyers but that's a good point lol
What does "loving someone more" even look like.. Stronger feelings? More action of doing service? Of course most people want to be "loved more" because... Of course we would.. Lmao.. I don't think it matters in the end though because they still love you at the end of the day.
I Love more. It feels better to love than being loved. At least it's how I see it. Not in the noble way you may think either. Expressing love feels good physically. I'm not sure if I'm being loved unless there is something tangible for me to detect with my eyes, touch, smell, hear. Where's the feeling?
I think if one person loves the other more to the point that’s it’s noticeable, the relationship is fucked up for the more loving person. They will feel like they aren’t good enough for the less loving person
I think it needs to be fairly balanced for the couple to be successful...60/40, 55/45 is close enough... But 70/30 is too far off and so is any other wide variation. One part of the couple is going to find themselves dissatisfied.
I'm usually the one who lives and gives more so I selected is rather be loved more. It really should be equal, not 50/50 but each person giving it their all
💕 it's easy to receive that from another beautiful soul
I dunno. I love in my own way. I'm pretty damaged so I have a hard time knowing how to show it in a way that feels right. As long as they can see what I put in and appreciate it
Depends sometimes a woman might love more and sometimes a man, i prefer equal...
Where's your naughty elephant miss phoenix 🐘 🤣🤣
🤣🤣 hahaha
u 50/50 doesn't exist... so that's just pointless
reciprocation is a must... if reciprocation is there, then I really don't care about the math
I'm a man. For men, love is downstream from respect and appreciation. Without those, "love" means little, but with them, it means everything.
Love is Hollywood creation. People marry for sex in reality
It's not a straight forward thing.
Each relationship has its own dynamic.
I don't agree with all 3 options.
Because one who loves more is mostly never changing.
The amount you put in is never equal.
And the people who thinks it has to be equal is rare from my observation.
I would love on the receiving side but I can't seem to see myself getting that as it is also dependent on looks, race, culture etc.
I've always been the one who's loved more and guess what, It's always been taken advantage of and weaponized and used against me. a horrible feeling even though you think that loving more would be the answer, it puts you at a disadvantage.
I would rather love more, I'm used to it anyways
In the past, I've always preferred being the one who loves her more than she does me, but that's never worked for me. Now, I'm with a woman who's crazy about me, and it's great, but different... lol
Obviously equal is best but of the two I'd rather be loved more to make myself feel desired.
Ideally it's equal but I think receiving more is probably the nicer experience.
I’m curious to know if I’ll be loved more because in relationships it’s always been me who’s loved them more than what they do …
I know it sounds selfish but I would rather be loved more. I had a long relationship that was one sided with me doing all the heavy lifting.
I'd rather to be loved, but if the man I love doesn't love me back, it doesn't matter—as long as he lets me love him.
I would rather be loved more, but I don't think that's possible. Because my love is stronger than any force ever known to any person on this planet. No one can compete with my love.
I usually love with all my heart, and I would love to receive the same amount of love back - not like clingy or toxic - just pure love.
Not sure I'd want either, bieng loved probably gets very annoying especially if it's unidirectional, and bieng the lover seems like a putting yourself in a situation where you can easily be exploited.
One sided love is pointless and honestly leads to an unstable relationship in the long run, as one side feels like there's less love, affection, which also leads to feeling used.
It has to be an equal cause if it's one way. More than likely, someone is being taken advantage of.
I already love. I wouldn't mind getting some back. Not begging, you understand.
Be loved because I feel need more love and affection from Prather than he wants
@diamond84 make sense.
I always did like pink hearts 😋 so I voted
Who doesn't love love 😙😘 when it's wanted lol. 💕
True love is sacred.
Not everyone is gifted love
As equal as possible but if nothing else I just want to feel like the love I give matters
As a man, I'd rather be the one who is loved. It's a more powerful and safer position.
It has to be equal
Loved more.
I rather be loved more.
N/A. Lol
Love more
It has to be equal
Be loved
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