Is it normal that my boyfriend’s ex wife is secretly living with him?

[Anonymous]

So I recently rekindled my relationship with my boyfriend, he has children in uni and a small child. He is divorced and he can see his kids only during the summer or holidays.

I recently discovered that his ex wife is currently in his house with him and the small child now as the other kids started uni.

He never mentioned to me that he was with her in the house. I noticed something was wrong as he never invites me to his place or he doesn’t reply to my call at night but call back the next day always outside the house.

Am I unreasonable to not like that at all? How do I approach the situation? He doesn’t know that I know she is there. Please help.

[DonaldDarko]

He restart his relationship with the mother of his children. That seems like a good thing. If that relationship is truly dysfunctional it'll fall apart pretty fsst.

[Asker]

He contacted me few months ago telling me he wants to have an other chance. If he is back with her again, then he is really deceptive and I’ll cut him off for good

[fishbone77]

break up immediately.

[Asker]

For sure! I thought maybe they do this for the kids during the holidays but if they are messing with each other. I don’t want no parts of this

[fishbone77]

Even if they aren't she's going to be a constant factor.

[Asker]

I agree. As a man, do you think I should ask him and if he says yes, I end it there. Or should I cut him off without explaining anything. He wasted my years, I want him to feel it too

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you spot red flags before they break your heart, gorgeous ❤️

You’re not unreasonable at all. This is a massive red flag. He hid that she’s living with him, avoids calls at night, never invites you over… that’s sneaky, not innocent.

Be direct and calm: tell him you know she’s staying there, that the secrecy feels like emotional cheating, and you need honesty and clear boundaries. If he minimizes, lovebombs, or gaslights you, that’s your sign to walk.

[AviatorTom]

I can't imagine this is re. Gotta be fake.

[Asker]

Unfortunately it’s very real ! 😂

[AviatorTom]

Well then. Emphasize your relationship with him, let him know what you know. Maybe he's just helping out his ex-wife and child temporarily.

[MrChinaski]

You recently rekindled. He's probably prioritising working out whether he wants you to play any role in his life an if so what role. Nothing in your post suggests he is keeping 'secrets' from you or that anything is 'wrong'.

Stay. Go. Whatever. Just stop pretending you are a victim of some conspiracy.

[Asker]

I didn’t explained the whole story as it would be too long. Just the current event. And I didn’t pretend to be a victim. Just sharing a snippet of my experience but for some reason it triggered u apparently

[MrChinaski]

i bothered to read your entire post and interpreted every word you said in line with normal English language usage.

Yes, one takeaway is that I dislike you. That doesn't matter to either of us, I hope.

[Asker]

Yeah you got issues 😂😂😂. Have a good day sir!

[slatyb]

Normal? Who cares. Does it bother you that they are f***ing?

[Asker]

If they do, of course!

[Anonymous]

Not even a little

[Opinion Owner]

Have you asked him for an explanation? That's bizarre and maybe not really actually over.

[Asker]

Not yet as he doesn’t know that I know she is there. If I mention it, he will probably tell me “it’s for the kids during the holidays, they need to see their mum”. I think the same as you, I don’t believe he is in the house with her and nothing happens.

[Pterodon]

I wouldn’t tolerate it once I found out

[jahaims]

You're a fool