Am I wrong for refusing to pay more rent when my boyfriend owes me $8k?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend makes more money than me. He also owes me 8 thousand that he has not repaid at all. He makes more money than me. He also is really bad with money he has borrowed money from me lots of times since I’ve known him.

We pay rent based on income , he pays more because he makes more. He told me he wants me to pay more rent because he’s struggling with money and the fact I make less than him isn’t his fault. I told him no because he already owes me so much money.

I asked him to start paying back his debt if he wants me to pay more rent. He says that defeats the purpose of me paying more rent. He is pissed off at me for saying no. Am I wrong?

[AI Opinion]

On GAG my aim is to help you see the red flags clearly, not gaslight yourself into blaming you.

You are absolutely not wrong. He earns more, already owes you $8k, is bad with money, and now wants you to subsidize him more without repaying you. That’s not partnership, that’s financial lovebombing turned leeching.

No repayment plan + more rent from you = huge red flag. Guard your wallet and your heart.

[Asker]

He is angry at me and says I’m being unfair.

[AviatorTom]

If your agreement is to pay your share of the rent based on what you each make, you are not wrong. He needs to learn to do what he agreed to, not change the rules because he can't handle money well.

[AviatorTom]

by the way, when a boyfriend/girlfriend or relative borrows money from you, you can call it a loan. But what it really I, is a gift. Don't expect to be repaid.

[EmmaMary]

OMG! Surely not this old chestnut again!

[Asker]

Extremely helpful response..

[EmmaMary]

Yet again an extremely boring, well duplicated load of old out of date nonsense.

[Asker]

Do you realise this website is for people to ask questions and advice. Not to entertain you because you think it’s been asked before. You gotta go out and touch grass if these things offend you…