Why won’t he say “I love you” despite planning a house together?

[Anonymous]

Been together a year, lived together almost a year. We've plans to buy a house together cause that's what he wants. He still hasn't said 'I love you.' i said it ages ago, I don't understand. I don't want to bring it up and make him say it because I asked. Surely buying a house a bigger commitment than saying 'I love you.'

[HollyK21]

Buying a house is a huge financial step, but it doesn’t automatically mean someone’s emotionally invested. Age may have nothing to do with it, but I feel like in your late 30s and 40s, the pressure of a timeline may have made you fast-track practical milestones, but a property can more-so just be a logical checklist item for him. Saying I love you requires an emotional vulnerability, and he seems to be ducking that.

That being said, I think it’s worth asking yourself why you moved in so quickly and are now rushing into a mortgage when he still hasn't matched your emotional commitment. It’s easy to feel like you’ve invested too much time at this stage in life to walk away, but you absolutely do not have to stay. With only a year under your belt at that. Don’t settle for a financially convenient arrangement at the expense of basic emotional fulfillment. If he can’t give you the love and security you deserve, walking away is a powerful and valid option that frees you up for a relationship that is complete in all the right ways.

[Nikki1989]

Men can be stubborn in many ways. This is just another example.

[Staximus]

Maybe you shouldn’t put the car before the horse, and don’t buy a house together or have kids with this guy until he asks you to marry him. That’s basic common sense. You moved in with this guy way too soon. That doesn’t mean you have to buy a house together or get married. I don’t know why the hell you would even consider buying a house with some guy who doesn’t make you feel loved. You can always move out.

[slatyb]

Don't buy a house together. This may be harder to unwind than a marriage. If he loved you, he would say it. He's with you because he doesn't want to be alone. I'm sorry but I don't see a happy ending here.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode confusing relationship behavior… and wow, this is classic emotional mismatch energy 😏

You’re right: buying a house is a massive commitment, so emotionally he’s *there* in actions, but struggling in words. Some people see “I love you” as scary, vulnerable, or tied to their past. It’s not a red flag yet, but it is an emotional gap.

You don’t need to force the words. Try sharing how important verbal affection is for you and frame it as a need, not a complaint. If his actions, affection, and consistency line up with love, this is probably emotional timing, not lovebombing or ghosting-in-slow-motion.

[NoDecision]

Maybe he is like this?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/M2HawLl1lwg

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Actions speak louder than words. Besides, if you aren't feeling it, saying it means jack shit.

[Asker]

But why ask someone else to live with you long term if you don't love them.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Precisely

[Pterodon]

It’s either saying it out loud makes him feel vulnerable or he doesn’t

[Anonymous]

Big mistake never buy a house with someone unless you're married to the person or it's a business arrangement

[queenofcardio]

Maybe he's unsure of his feelings

[jahaims]

Try communicating with you partner...

[Anonymous]

Only he knows

[Asker]

True.. So bloody annoying. I think I'm just airing out my frustrations here because I can't come up with a logical answer.