Is it OK to ask for a hall pass?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my girlfriend for four years, and I love her to death and intend to get engaged to her soon. There is no one else id rather be with, we connect, love and understand each other. My only issue, is that she is the only woman i`ve been with sexually, and after we get engaged and married will be the only woman I will experience sexually. She on the other hand has had several partners before me. Would it be inappropriate for me to ask for a hall pass, ladies would you be offended if your man asked permission to sleep with other woman, strictly for sex? Are there any guys on this site who have done this. I ain't willing to break up with her for something as shallow as sex, and I respect her too much to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. Not sure if my experience here helps but I can tell you of a romantic relationship that was open. But only sexually. It worked rather well. And we set clear rules. For example: no other romantic relationships. It was clear that there was a time limit on it but for the time, it worked. But of course it really depends on your partner. In my case, my girlfriend was only interested in other girls. So I was OK with that. And she asked of me to let everone know that I had a relationship and that there was no potential of something growing into a relationship.

So maybe you need to find something to grant your girlfriend too. Make a "deal" so to say. But again, it depends on your partner. And maybe be clear that there is a deadline on it. Honestly, I was surprised how open people are towards request out of the norm when they are expressed honestly and when the others feelings are considered.

[Asker]

Yea, it would only be for sex, just looking for random encounters. It`s a tough idea to pitch though women have the tendency to equate sex with love and emotion. She might think its for romantic involvement when it`s just sex. But thanks for the advice.

[Opinion Owner]

Really? I had opposite experience with that. Most women need the romace as basis for sexual things. And with guys its the other way around (a bit). But I found out that girls can seperate those two rather well. Even to the part where they don't care about who else you sleep with, as long as they feel like they are your number one.

[Ogopogo]

This is a disaster waiting to happen. You are going to hurt her feelings and also make her feel like you view her as a slut. No. Ask her to talk dirty to you during sex, ask her about her fantasies, joke about threesomes. If none of it gets any traction, guess what? There are actually lots of people out there who only ever did it with one person, and being bent out of shape over it isn't your natural state. It's hookup culture induced FOMO.

[jadejess]

Personally, yes I would be extremely offended. But I have a different situation - my boyfriend and I are virgins so we'll both be each others only sexual partners. I still don't think it's a good idea for you to ask, but if you do - be very, very clear about the reason. Make sure she knows that it's not because you're unfulfilled by her, or because you have someone else that you genuinely want to sleep with. Explain that you only want to do this because you've never had any other experience and she has had other partners. I don't know how she'll react, but this is the only way you could possibly not offend her. Warning though, she still may be offended because it's just generally a bad idea to ask a woman who loves you if you can sleep with someone else.

[aqua_goddess]

Wonderful advise.

[jadejess]

Thank you. :)

[Anonymous]

I don't think she will be OK with this. You would have a better chance of keeping her if you broke up with her then when you were done tell her that you made a mistake and she is the only one for you etc or something like that. If my guy asked for a hall pass you better believe that I would get one too. I don't care if I had more sexual partners or something like that, if we are together we are together, if we are not we are not.

[Anonymous]

If you love her, than Id say you better not tell her if you want to keep her. If you think later on you will cheat because of this, then you need to end it with her now. You aren't missing out by only being with her like you think. If you care for her, then respect her. Sounds like you don't care much for her if you want to sleep with other women. Maybe you need to look at yourself, then do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

i would be offended and if you were to act on it, I'd break up with you on the spot. I deserve better than that

[Anonymous]

I probably would not be okay with it. It would ruin my relationship. But I don't know how she thinks.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it!