I'm dating a guy who thinks jealousy is uncool and a waste of time and he's the least jealous person he knows. doesn't get jealousI think a little bit of jealousy is healthy. It's a sign you value the relationship. (and I don't mean freakish or insane, just makes you uncomfortable)
If a guy doesn't get jealous at all, does it mean he's disconnected and doesn't care about you or the relationship?
If a guy doesn't get jealous, does it mean he doesn't care?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I would say so. A little jealously is completely natural and healthy I believe, so long as it is within reason. By that I mean, I believe a guy being a little jealous if his girlfriend is going on a road trip to cancun for spring break with 10 guys and will be sharing a bed with one is completely justified/understandable, but not a guy being jealous over his girlfriend merely even speaking to another guy.
As human beings, it's completely natural to worry about the things that mean most to us. For example, if I let my friend borrow my ford p.o.s. that's about to break down on me, chances are I won't be too worried about what might happen to it. However, if I let him borrow my audi, I'm probably going to be really paranoid/worrisome. I'm going to ask him to PLEASE PLEASE be careful and always use his signal lights and so on, get it?
I don't really believe there exists people who never feel even an inkling of jealousy, it's completely counter-intuitive to being human and knowing our limitations (i.e., we're imperfect). It doesn't matter how secure you are in yourself, you should know you're not perfect, and therefore not the most supremely desired human being that is and ever will be.
I highly doubt those who "are secure and comfortable in the relationship and himself/herself" would not have a nerve struck if their partner spent a night having drinks with brad pitt or jennifer aniston or some super model or whatever. In that case, the only logical conclusions I could come to are either 1) that person does not really care (i.e., I am that person's ford p.o.s.) or 2) it's just a facade because face it, society frowns so heavily upon jealousy and people are deathly afraid of appearing needy just by showing they are uncomfortable with a situation 3) The person I am in a relationship is some egomaniac. I think option 2 is the most likely of them all.
i don't get jealous but I care a lot. its just if I decide I don't trust you then I walk. otherwise jealousy is just a crappy place in between confidence/trust...and...low self esteem/no trust.
i have never cheated or anything so it can't mean I'm less trustworthy. I think it just has more to do with a good self esteem. I don't feel threatened by another guy being around. some people are very jealous cause they know what they would do in that situation...idk. really a lot of psychology in that question. plust factor in that everybody is different= very hard to say for sure.
I think that's a very good thing - being above jealousy means he's mature, not that he doesn't value the relationship.
When I feel secure with someone I don't get jealous, because I trust them and I feel secure about their liking for me. Jealousy is to do with insecurity - for example it's only when I feel like I'm losing someone that I'll start feeling jealous, or maybe also if I like someone and they seem to like me but then also flirt with others (although in this case I usually just move on tbh).
So consider yourself lucky! I wish I could find a guy who didn't get unneccessarily jealous!
I don't know if 'jealousy' is important so much as trust and caring. I wouldn't want my partner 'jealous' because that's a fine line to walk on. But I want him to care if a guy hits on me or wants me to sleep with him or if he feels a guy is getting to close that he can tell me it makes him uncomfortable. But if he just doesn't care that other men talk to me or what I do about it then he needs to go. All that says to me is he doesn't care. I just advise women to not go out of their way to make a guy jealous because that almost always backfires.
Not necessarily, It comes down to how long you been dating him , And how serious your relationship is with him , It’s hard to get jealous over someone that isn’t fully committed to you or made official with each other , Dating to me just means getting to know someone , and seeing if you both have great chemistry and connections together , seeing if it’s going to last the long haul or the short haul, so if the relationship isn’t serious and not 100 percent official , then why get jealous over someone that doesn’t fully hold your heart like you hold theirs? . When I date a girl there isn’t really any strings attached , I treat her the same way I want to be treated and make it clear to her that I am interested in her, but it also comes down to how interested she is to me. So if she isn’t making me her number 1 priority , then to me she is still keeping her options open , at any given time she can meet someone else along the way and so can I basically until her and I decide to make the relationship official , so if you are t serious and official with this guy yet , then why would he get jealous? You can only get jealous over something that is yours basically , you shouldn’t be getting jealous over something that isn’t. Dating is just getting to know someone and leaving room for the both of you to make a decision , if she goes and hooks up with another guy while we are dating then to me she isn’t fully interested in me and would just let her go , I might be a little jealous that she made that decision but I know to move on.
I dont understand making someone jealous... I just get disappointed after the fact that she would need to do that. Maybe... Maybe.. Just tell me something's wrong or let me know instead? Weird flex but ok.
Making someone jealous is akin to doing this: "Hey, you haven't logged into your account recently so we are going to give clues to part of your password and/or username to someone else who might want to log in. Don't worry, there's no security risk because this person won't get all of it and besides we'll keep it secure and we're just testing you. And, it's just to see if you cared to log in."
Sure, maybe we should be more considerate and show more affection. Really though, show a guy that he is needed and I am almost certain he will respond like Superman. It's in our terms of service. What's more important - that the man feels jealous or that you are loved? Love runs deep and jealousy will make one sick eventually. Both shows our fragile humanity and one is precious whereas the other one will bring dismay. Choose your pill.
Jealousy means you're insecure in a relationship. Does it mean he doesn't care?
Well if you're purposefully trying to get your partner jealous yes they don't care because you are not worth keeping 🙂.
It's that simple.
Making a partner jealous on purpose means 9 out of 10 times you're whiny, high maintenance, insecure, demanding and all around undesirable for long term but convenient for sex. And only for sex.
Real adults - not kids trapped in adult bodies delusionally thinking they're mature - don't purposefully make their partner jealous because it's stupid. Your supposed to be partners working together not making the other miserable.
.
So in short he doesn't care because you're not worth caring for beyond sex. And when there's dozens upon dozens of dimbos for cheap sex... you're easily replaceable
Well shit testing isn’t fair either and many women love to shit test. Jealousy is usually one of the top ways to do it.
He’s probably been through all sorts of other bs in past relationships. Now he’s at the stage he just doesn’t give a f*ck. He probably is like “okay you want to mess around with another guy? Have fun! I’m outta here.”
You are 46 years old and I’m guessing this guy is at least your age or older. He’s likely been around the block a few times and sick of all the crap. He’s also got more experience dealing with female shit testing.
Maybe the jealousy game stirs your emotions and makes you feel younger or some crap. But intentionally setting this crap up to test him is a YOU problem not a HIM problem. Give it up and grow up!
I agree with you. I think a little jealously in a relationship is healthy so long as it isn’t unreasonable. Which honestly can be a fine line. I think if you never do then you might not be as invested as you think you are. My boyfriend told me he didn’t get jealous which held true up until a guy approached me at a party. I removed myself from the situation on my own as it was uncomfortable. My boyfriend told me later how he felt about that guy shooting his shot and we talked about it. It was fine.
I don’t know if he thinks not ever getting jealous makes him God’s gift to Earth or what, but personally I would hate being in a relationship like that, because to me it does show me I’m not valuable to him and that he doesn’t view me as his. I’ve never understood why people try so hard to paint a small, healthy, normal amount of jealousy/possessiveness in a relationship as a display of insecurity, trust issues, or immaturity. It’s human nature to be wary of other people who want to fuck and steal your mate. Whether you trust your partner or not has no place in it. I can be 100% confident in myself and my relationship and trust my partner 100%, and still feel the slightest bit uncomfortable if someone else tries to get in their pants. Why do people think those things are mutually exclusive? There can definitely be a valid correlation sometimes, but not in every single relationship. If my guy were like yours though, he wouldn’t be my guy anymore, I’ll leave it at that.
No, it doesn't mean he doesn't care if he's never jealous. It means that he chooses not to worry about what might never be - until it actually happens and he knows it. I'm the same way. I'd rather not stress myself over the possibility of her cheating on me until I actually know for certain she did (or is trying to). If you are going to flirt with another guy just to get him jealous, then you don't deserve him - ESPECIALLY if he's FAITHFUL to you. And you're 41 (supposedly). Life is too short to participate in these stupid games. I would think someone at your age would know better, but I guess you haven't grown up yet. Which is hard to believe, at THAT age. I don't think jealousy is EVER healthy - not even a little.
I don't have any sense of jealousy. My wife is free to act as she wishes because I'm confident that what she most wants is me. If it turns out I'm wrong and she falls for someone else, then I'll find someone who does see me as their ideal partner.
I never want to think I could possibly be anything other than a woman's first choice
There are many different ways of looking at life, love and relationships. Some guys want to own their girls, kind of like property. These can be the real jealous types. On the other end of the spectrum and it is a spectrum there are those who know they cannot even possess their own selves, how can they possibly possess someone else. I am the latter of the two. I really don’t get jealous, that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. It only means I’m not possessive of her… she is her own self.
Honestly , I'm very much like him , I really don't like the trait. But , at the same time I believe that it does show in a way that he just doesn't care , I've had this comment so many times over the years. but , its just something I can't feel , it seems like negative energy and a waste of time.
I'm a firm believer that jealousy is an important and essential part of any relationship between a woman and a guy. I think that too often we only hear about the guys who are so insecure that they freak out and commit violent acts, etc, but I think 99% of guys are well equipped to handle a woman's desire to make them jealous as hell.
If he isn't Jealous or doesn't get jealous then he must fully trust you, I bet there are times he gets jealous but hides it to just to show that he fully trusts you. I'm like that as well, if I feel like I can trust my partner then no I won't get jealous because I know they will be yours.
Its a case of how he treats you when you are together that will give an answer if he treats you like the only one for him.
Depends. If you're actively hanging out with all the guys all the time and spending time away from him, then I would say I don't blame him for getting jealous. However, jealousy isn't something that should be felt most of the time; no jealousy doesn't equal not caring, jealousy usually means they are possessive.
If a guy didn't get a little jealous I would be a bit concerned. But girl or guy I don't think anyone appreciates someone who is trying to make their significant other jealous. You always want to trust your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt. But if I felt someone was trying to get a reaction out of me I would simply lose some respect. I feel that someone who respects you would do what they can to make you feel comfortable as possible to kill any doubts.
Most people want fidelity so will feel jealousy. Both guys and gals do mate guarding. However the only guarantee of fidelity is girlfriend/boyfriend's attitude and morality and you cannot devote your life to mate guarding plus it won't work anyway.
I could take the approach of observing and dumping if you flirt a lot. I have a better realistic take on your attitude and morals that way.
Don't know what it means but I agree with you that a little bit of "jealousy" is healthy. I put jealousy in quotes because maybe the healthy kind is different from the unhealthy kind. The healthy kind is the appreciation that you have each other and the healthy fear of losing that.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
A little bit of jealousy is natural and healthy? No it isn't! jealousy comes from the ego, and the more active and dominant the ego is, the more jealous the person will be.
There is nothing natural or caring about it, but it is perceived to be so when viewed through the other persons ego. Jealousy is not a sign of valueing something, it is a sign of possessing something.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Depends on the guy I guess. He might not really care. I don't get jealous because I don't trust women (or men for that matter) or expect much from them anymore. I trust them to be imperfect, let me put it that way. I expect them all to be shady and messaging 5 guys at once. No need to be jealous. If they turn out to be good then wow, what a pleasant surprise.
Being a student of Sociology, men are very jealous in nature about their womenfolk, if he is not jealous then so some instant we can say he doesn't care. This jealousy is good, which is called protective jealousy, and encourage to have such jealously for the couples.🌱
No, it just means he's confident in his relationship but it also means that the one he's in the relationship with shears that same confidence by not giving other men hints that she is single and vice verse.. therefore no jealousy just respect & trust in their relationship.
I don't think it's just a matter of not caring, so if a person isn't jealous of the person in their life, I also think that they don't have love or value towards them. Of course, it's not right to be jealous to the point of paranoia, but still, whether a woman or a man, they want to experience the feeling of jealousy once in a while.
Jealousy is the combination of insecurity and distrust. The lack of these can mean 1 of 2 things: either he isn't one to fully invest or commit, or he is indeed secure and trusting and you haven't given him any reason to be.
Me and my boyfriend just discussed this last night, when somone gets jealous it just means they are scared to lose you, if they don't get jealous they either are worried about losing you or just don't care.
I'd have to agree with what you say. I always tell myself that I can trust my girlfriend not to let other guys get between us, but I do still allow her to go out with her male friends and such. Yes, I do get a little jealous but I don't let it plague me, it really does make me value what I have and reminds me I'm lucky to have her.
tl;dr - Yes, a little jealous is a good thing.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Lack of jealousy can indicate that he doesn't care. It's okay to BE jealous, it's not okay to ACT on jealousy. She likes that I'm jealous when she brings a guy home and doesn't share, (she knows we will have a LOT of fun later), but I don't act on it... and that's because while I care, and I wish I were in her place, I'm very secure about my position with her.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It depends what you mean by that. I'm much the same way. You're almost never going to see that side of me. That DOESN'T mean I don't ever feel jealous at all. But no, there is nothing wrong with this. On the contrary, I submit that if you need your partner to be jealous that speaks more to your insecurity of self worth.
For me personally, yes. I am like you. I believe that little amount of jealousy should always be present.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
No, it just means he's secure and comfortable in the relationship and himself. I am the same, I have little tolerance for jealousy, insecurity isn't healthy to me.
I don't get jealous. If you're going to cheat you're going to cheat, and when I find out about it you'll be replaced. I'm not going to give myself an ulcer about it.
He just may not be the jealous type but if you would push a button, I think he might show some of his true colors then. Or hide them very well for you to tell then.
I would Say jealousy (regardless the amount) equals to toxicity if you will. You may like it but some of us sure as hell don't (Just like with smoking weed), so we distance ourselves from that or we are just confident.
Maybe he is very secure. Or maybe he thinks he respects you this way and shows that he trusts you. As long as he respects you and care for you what is the deal. Some guys dont want the drama
No, for example im not jealous but not because i dont care, just because i trust my partner and i dont want to put pressure on her with useless jealousy. It depends on how much one trust the partner
Sounds like me:) if a woman's trying to make me jelous that means she's playing games which I don't tolerate. That completely turns me off, I'll put her in the friend zone & find someone else or remain alone.
It’s OK to show a little jealousy but it’s not very healthy to show it , and I never really show im jealous as long as there is trust in me and the other person
It means he trusts you will be faithful no matter who you're around. There's no worry in his mind about you possibly leaving him. He's mature enough to overcome the feeling of jealousy.
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