If he doesn't want me dating other guys why is he so bad at making commitments to me?!

[Girl000]

I have been dating this guy who has not referred to me as his girlfriend or said we are exclusive. However, he did make a comment about me seeing other guys and that he did not like it, and indicated that he was not seeing anyone other than me. In good faith I stopped seeing all other guys and let him know that... But he takes hours to reply to my text messages, never calls me, and never makes plans far in advance and is very bad at following up on plans that he does make. If he doesn't want me dating other guys why is he so bad at making commitments to me?! Guys how would you make sense of his behavior ?

[Anonymous]

This guy sound very manipulative and controlling, in my opinion. He wants you to follow his rules and act on his own terms. If he wants to make you happy, he will hang out and be nice. If he wants to make you sad and angry, he would go days without contacting you. If he wants to call you his girlfriend, he will. If he doesn't, he won't. Where are you in all this?

I think he is very selfish and is self-absorbed. He puts himself first and makes the rules as he goes. I don't think you exist in the picture at all. He doesn't your feelings and your desires. It all revolves around him. And if you complain, he will give you the silent treatment.

Honey, this guy is a lost cause. If he doesn't give you his heart and time then he sure doesn't consider you special. You need to run for your life before getting hurt so badly.

[Anonymous]

If he finds time for you in his schedule, then he loves you. If he is there for you when you need him, then he loves you. If he makes sure to support you in whatever you do in life, then he loves you. Unlike many people say, that being there 24/7 for your lover is a sign of deep love, it is not realistic. Being there for you 24/7 is just a sign of infatuation, not true love. It fades away after a while. True love is what continues for a long time. :)

If he is always busy and you don't find him when you need him, then you should find yourself a man who would appreciate you. They key is "support". Sometimes being "busy" is just an excuse.

[GamerGuy_1]

It depends on what kind of plans he is making. If its something constant like a job, volunteer work, or anything that is like a number of days per week then its fine. You should get to know his schedule and try to work a way around it. But if he constantly tells you he is busy when you ask him to go out then that might be a problem. Especially if its on a day you know he is free.

[browolf]

An obvious question is why are you so into him when he's clearly doing things *you* don't like. Even if he is busy, that doesn't excuse the ability to communicate, make plans & follow through. A busy guy needs to be more organised or explain the situation more thoroughly. You don't need to know reasons to know something isn't working for you.

[browolf]

Maybe he lied and he is seeing other girls but wants you be exclusive to his whims.or he's just bad boyfriend material and/or a bit of a control freak.

He doesn't sound like the sort of guy you should want for a boyfriend. Should have ditched him for the other guys.

[jamsdoty42k]

sit his ass down and set him straight, tell him that he hasn't commit to you and if he wants you he has to change how he's been actting and if he doesn't he can just leave you alone and let you date a guy that will make time for you and call and text you and make plans with you and keep them

[Anonymous]

He doesn't really like you :(

There's ALWAYS time for a short conversation or text with a girl that you're into