Why doesn’t he take me on dates, and what should I do about it?

[FictionalCharacter]

It seems he has trust issues from his “past failures”. He doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. And with you confronting him about the issue, it’s already too much for him.

Since you said you’ve “never heard of people doing less romantic things to be healthier”. Well, that situation is more common than you think. People do in fact do less romantic things with their partner, when the spark isn’t there anymore or they’re just not into them. That they are slowly drifting away from that person to go heal themselves.

Which obviously this guy does have a lot of healing to do. Since he still has trust issues with relationships.

Which I can I say is sorry he is wasting your time with that.

[NicoletteXO]

What is this guy, like 13 years old? Jesus Christ. You've expressed that you wanted to go on a date. The response should be: "Baby, be ready at 6. Wear that beautiful dress - and no underwear xx"

This guy is fucking exhausting. He doesn't want to take you on dates. And he doesn't give a shit about you. It's clear. He would rather spend huge amounts of energy making lame excuses than doing something special with you.

I'm sorry to inform you - you are not in a relationship. You're in a shitshow. Please part ways with this moron and find yourself a man who is up for deep connection and the consistent mutual investments into one another that an actual relationship requires.

[OlderAndWiser]

Didn't read all your text messages. Not necessary.

1. Don't text to discuss serious matters. Have such discussions in person and avoid misunderstandings and ambiguities.

2. He doesn't treat you like you are special.

3. He is not going to change for you.

4. Accept him the way he is, continue to stay with him, remain unhappy, and complain to others OR move on and find someone else.

[qwert1234]

Is there a tl:dr version? That's a wall of text - could've become a phone call.
Anyway -

Sounds like he does not care about what you want/need. If this isn't what you want, ditch the dude and find another who will treat you better or will meet your standards.

PS:
Asking for a date is perfectly fine. Unless you guys are on lockdown due to pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Date nights are important. I think his excuse is lazy..

On that same token.. I have a rule of three. If I offer to take a girlfriend on a date and she cancels three times in a row (as in consecutively), the attempts stop and I start looking at breaking up, same with sex, and lots of other things. The reason for that rule is the definition of crazy.. Making the same action over and over expecting different results is crazy, and a waste of my time.

[boggboss]

It seems to me that there are more then rocky part of the relationship clearly he is not happy and essentuly from what he is saying why would he go on a date with you if he is not happy

[ohshee]

I really feel bad for you I can feel your energy from here and you are a beautiful person and I could see that you would just love to go out and do anything weather is just holding hands walking around the park or out to dinner to movie someplace anyting instead of being home. At first he acknowledges it but then he starts to blame it on you I don't know but I don't like until right now cuz I got the vibe that do you would be a blast to hang out with

[unknown17550697]

He likes the sound of being in a relationship and having someone there but does not want to put in the work to maintain the relationship. To me, it looks like he is not ready to commit

[Browneye57]

All that texting bullshit is a fucking joke. I'm sure not gonna read it all. WTF over.

[Open2It]

Sounds like a lot of double talk... it doesn't sound like he's ready for a mature relationship. Stay friends, friends with benefits, whatever but move on

[TheFlak38]

the entitlement is over the roof

[Anonymous]

My kingdom for some punctuation.

[Wise4myage]

He sounds like a cheap bastard.