Why is the excuse of "bad timing" seemingly more...

[Anonymous]

credible than the "I'm just not ready for a relationship!" line?

People always write of the not ready as BS but when it comes to bad timing... well people think of it in some sort of fatalistic sense?

[Anonymous]

I found this question, and the comments, really interesting because I am kinda in this situation right now. I always thought that these lines were just used as an excuse, and that no matter what else was going on in your life, or whether or not you were looking for a serious relationship when you met, that if you really wanted to be with that person, the "timing" wouldn't matter.

However, I have had to rethink my opinion on this as I do agree that certain situations do mean that someone is literally unable to give what is needed to make that relationship work, even though they really want to and wish they could, and that by continuing when other stuff in your life is not quite right, you could end up blowing it anyway, making error judgments, and being overwhelmed because the other stuff creates negativity and drama that effectively make the timing, and what has the potential to be a great relationship, bad.

"Bad timing" is considered a little more fatalistic though I guess, because we can't argue with the universe haha but we assume someone can somehow make themselves ready for a relationship when they meet the right person, whereas external factors affecting 'timing' are out of our control.

[the-love-guru]

For the most part, bad timing is a cop-out. If a guy REALLY likes you, he'll do what it takes to have you... i.e. dump his crappy girlfriend, commute to see you, schedule his crazy busy life to have at least an few hours a week to see/talk to you. However, there are select few reasons a person would use the "bad timing" excuse and deserve it. Having a close family/friend recently pass away can prevent someone from being open to a new relationship, being dumped by a fiance, etc. These are fairly rare, so the harsh reality is that maybe he just doesn't want to date you. His loss... go find a guy that wants to commit to you and only you!

Best of luck. :)

[Shinyngettinghappy]

It isn't a cop out if that GUY is actually a man , men will break up with a woman they like because of bad timing , money problems, job stress, family crisis, getting involved too soon after a bad break up. Women are emotional, men are practical... so men will normally use this comment because to them it really is bad timing.

[BBGyrl]

I think that it's the same thing. There's no difference between the two and if someone used the whole 'bad timing' line on me they'd get the same respone as I would if they said 'I'm not ready for a relationship, I'd leave them alone and continue on my way.

[Anonymous]

Bad timing actually does happen believe it or not. I am a firm believer that most people have a simultaneous desire and fear of forming intimate relationships. There is a delicate balance between desire and fear, and timing can disrupt that balance in a big way. Getting involved with someone too soon after a bad break up for example, or getting involved with someone months before a career change or a big move, an ex popping up when you least expect it, any changes in relationships outside of your love life...

When people want different things in from a relationship, bad timing happens. One wants to move fast, the other wants to go slow, one is looking for a settle down, while the other may just need excitement. Two people can have great chemistry in every way, but if they want different things... it just won't work; the timing is off.

[Asker]

Well by that definition wouldn't you then say that bad timing is essentially the same as saying, "I'm just not ready for a relationship??"

[Opinion Owner]

Not necessarily, it could be that you're (not you personally) not ready for a relationship. It could mean, I'm ready to be in a relationship, but you are rushing it and I'm not cool with it. Serious relationships that last have to grow at a pace that both are comfortable with. It could mean, yeah I want a serious relationship, but you don't so... peace. It can mean a lot of things. PEOPLE WANT DIFFERENT THINGS FROM A RELATIONSHIP = BAD TIMING

[Asker]

.... or it could just mean "I'm just not that into you!" =)

I guess we'll never really know but thanks for your answer!!

[NotSoBad]

Everyone is always ready for a relationship, but depending on where they are in their life... each person will be looking for a different type of relationship. Some might just want a friend. Some just want sex. Another might want sex and a friend. A fourth might want a long loving committed relationship. I think as people mature they begin to realize that most people go through these different "times" in their life. I think that makes it much more credible than "I'm just not ready for a relationship" which, comes off sort of as a lie. People usually are always ready for a relationship it just depends on which kind of relationship they are looking for.

[Asker]

If only you'd have answered sooner!! That was such a good answer....!

[Anonymous]

I'd love to know the answer to this, I have a guy I use to date 2 years ago, we never became official, 2 months after we stopped talking he gets a girlfriend who he has been with for a YEAR. He's now back in the picture trying to say he's sorry it was "bad timing" between work and school with him back then...ummmm but yet 2 months later he's in a relationship with some other chick?...ITS DEF BULLSHIT! lol

[Asker]

Haha well you seem convinced BUT in his "defence" every relationship is different! Not knowing the details of your "relationship" all I can say is perhaps she wanted less, was perhaps more casual... essentially what I am trying to say is perhaps it was bad timing for him to meet you then? ... to be honest I kind of think it's sh*t too! I think fate in general is a crock of sh*t.... I was just wondering! Haha...

[Anonymous]

I don't believe it is Bs in anyway... truth is either men and women can be adult about their decisions to either enter a relationship in a good frame of mind or a bad frame of mind.. I think the ones that are willing to admit that their not in a good place in their lives to embark on a new and exciting relationship will say that it is bad timing , others will say I'm just not ready. both statements being true. Recently this happened to me and we both agreed it was just not good timing, both of us having horrible break ups and not really knowing who we are as individuals , and realizing at the same time that attraction and like are just not enough when starting a new relationship when the baggage is still very heavy on our minds. If in a few months we decide to date someone else , well maybe because by then we are set free of demons and ready to embark on something new..

[bgreek1]

It's just soo simple a Illegal Mexican can figure this out

It's what's called not putting the blame on anyone.

There's no such thing as"BAD TIMING'"

Either the person into you or they are not

That's how simple it is

[4u2nv]

"I'm not ready to be committed to one person"

that's how I see it as

[Anonymous]

"Bad timing" avoids laying blame on anyone involved. Like you said, bad timing we can chalk up to fate, coincidence, etc. "Bad timing" is more difficult to rebut, at least initially.

But "not ready for a relationship" makes you wonder a zillion questions. Are they not ready for a relationship in general, or not with you? Will they ever be ready for a relationship? Why are they not ready?

But in my experience, bad timing is probably b.s.