Boyfriend acting distant now that my birthday is approaching

[Anonymous]

He didn't do anything last year.. that really hurt my feelings.. I feel like he won't do anything this year either and that's why he's already starting to avoid me ... should I just tell him, you can relax I'm not expecting anything for my birthday... I'd really just rather spend the day downtown by myself ... away from all my family obligations here.. do some shopping and come back the next day. That way he knows I don't expect anything from him anymore.. and I don't have to deal with the disappointment of when he doesn't even call again this year?

Updates

+1 y

never expected anything lavish .. really just wanted to spend some time with him.. that's was it.. but he couldn't even manage to do that. So really I don't feel the need to force him to spend time with me this year. If its not his heart, and my birthday doesn't mean anything to me. then that's fine.

[Rykar]

No, I would tell him/remind him of when your birthday is, and remind him that he forgot your birthday and didn't do ANYTHING, not even call on your last birthday, and it hurt you. Tell him that its important for him to at least do SOMETHING for your special day. However, tell him that he doesn't have to go all out or anything. Your not asking for a lot here, just spending time with you, maybe take you to a movie or something simple will make you really happy. Your not asking him to all of a sudden buy you jewelry or anything. This is something ALL girls expect from their boyfriends, and dare I say, all boyfriends expect from their girlfriends. I love it when my significant other does anything for me for my birthday. It makes you feel that your someone special.

So yeah, its OK to EXPECT this from your boyfriend. Just as long as your not expecting jewelry or a lavish getaway. :) If he can't even make a little effort for your birthday, then drop him like a bad habit, because your worth it! Good luck!

[Asker]

he didn't forget it last year. he even kept asking me "i wonder who's birthday is coming up in a few days"kept telling me that I should do it big because it was my 25th and then the day of did nothing he just sent me a text message saying happy birthday. When his birthday came around (after mine) I still made it very special for him and he just looked sad or disappointed with it. it was only until he showed his mom and sister.. that he msged me saying it was the best thing gift anyone ever gave him.

[Rykar]

I see. Well, just tell him that your not expecting anything big, but just a simple text won't cut it for you. Good luck.

[ArtistBboy]

Idea:

1) Why do you need his permission? Just go do what you want

- This will cause drama, be prepared for it or address it ahead of time with an explanation.

2) Argue with him (even though you don't want to)

- Releases bad hormones into your blood stream, decreasing the quality of your day/life

3) Talk with him in a civil manor

- From the sounds of it, he probably won't care, which will irritate you

4) Figure out what's going on in his world

- 9/10 times that a guy starts "Acting funny" is because he doesn't feel understood. Maybe he's thinking you have some huge plans (like last year?) and he's currently overburdened at work (just an example)... In turn he's being "resistant" because he doesn't feel like you are understanding where he's coming from. This allows you the insight necessary to explain #1 (see first in list) in detail and probably gain support over idea.

Hope it helps,

ArtistBBoy