If you love someone, let them go?

[Anonymous]

We have all heard the expression "If you love someone set them free. If they come back they were always yours, if not they never were to begin with." I don't entirely understand this expression and I need someone out help me out here. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, so is this saying I am supposed to break up with him? And if he tries to get me back he is mine and if not he never was to begin with? And what am I supposed to say, "Oh that was a test to see if you love me." And if someone broke up with me I may still love them but I am not going to be annoying and kee nagging and pleading with him to take me back. So what exactly doesIf you love someone this mean? And by the way I am not going to break up with my boyfriend, this was just an example.

[jeremy20]

Its a saying that typically refers to the breaking off of a relationship in which one person wants to leave but the other doesn't. Basically, the one who doesn't want to leave lets the one who does go, and if they come back, then its meant to be. If not, there was never anything there to begin with.

Its sort of a test about "the grass in always greener on the other side." I guess its giving your significant other a chance to miss you.

I've always found it to be a lame description of a the "breakup and get back together' type of couple. The way I see it, its either your meant to be or not meant to be, so I find this saying completely false.

I think all in all, its something "cute" to make people feel better...I definitely wouldn't break up with somebody just to test this though lol

[Asker]

I agree it is kind of a lame saying. But I am not planning on breaking up with him don't worry ha ha Just because a couple breaks up and gets back together definitely doesn't mean they are meant to be. In fact, a lot of times I find it to mean to complete opposite.

[jeremy20]

Yeah...Im the type of guy that deals in absolute...either your with me or your not. If they wanna go, I'm definitely not gonna stop them. Keeping them would make them miserable, and in return, me. Lol now that you mention it this saying irritates me lol

[Asker]

I have never really thought about the saying til a minute ago. And I was like wait a minute... it irritates me too

[Konnour]

That saying is only partially correct, it does not (!) mean letting someone completely go - if you will do that, the other person will think you're not interested anymore and things will end, you don't want that to happen.

What that saying truly means - that you have to let the other person to show their interest in you! If you'll always be the one who initiates everything, always the one who wants to be together, that creates power imbalance and it's not healthy. You have to make sure that the other person is same much interested in being with you as you're willing to be with him/her.. by giving them some space and seeing what they gonna do, but definitely not by breaking-up or making fights.

[CatholicVirginia]

NO it's not meant as a test! Never never never purposely test someone. You trust, not test.

It's meant that if HE is feeling trapped, if HE wants to leave and explore, you let him go. If he says the spark has died and he wants to see other people, you let him go. If he loves you, he'll eventually come back to you because he realizes what he's missing. But if he doesn't love you, he'll never come back. That's the theory, at least.

But if there are no problems, DO NOT break up with him. You break up only if you WANT to.

[NonchalantBro]

It means that if you truly love someone, you will not stand in the way of their happiness, assuming things were'nt working out. If you love someone, you want what's best for them, even if it means being with someone else. That's my take anyway...