Can Having Sex Too Soon Mess Up A Potential Relationship?

[C0nfusi0n22]

I Just started seeing this guy and I really like him . Not to mention I really attracted to him sexually as well. Could me having sex with him too soon mess up a good thing?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I did things too soon, and it might have made me a little messed up and unsure of things. I doubted myself and my decisions and actually broke up with her because sometimes I felt like I didn't like her and was only in the relationship because I cared about her. I felt that way for a long time. When I was with her though, it was darling and good and that thought was out of my mind, or was contradicted by the great times and feelings I had with her. One day the bad feelings just brought me to break up with her. I cried after we broke up, and now, a few days later, I am slightly wondering if I made the right choice. This was my first real relationship, and I'm going to see a therapist to try and sort my feelings out. Everybody is different. Everybody has their own boundaries and opinions on things like this. When I was with her I had a great time and it was good. She made me smile and laugh and feel great. I don't know if I made the right choice, but she said she'll wait with me after I get sorted out to see what I feel like then. I mean a lot to her and she means a lot to me. I care about her, but don't know if I love her yet, and we've been through a lot, and kept going. I think everybody is different and each person needs to figure out where their morals lie, and not try to get answers off the internet. I used to do that, and what I read might have harmed me and my potential relationship. My mom told me that if you have sex or do things too early on it can mess with your emotions, and I think so too. I felt weird and I can't tell my emotions apart or categorize them correctly sometimes. We started doings things too early on, and it messed with our relationship. I know I'm restating myself a little. Just leave this comment knowing that I believe everybody is different, and that people have their own opinions. Sex might really confuse you and your thoughts and more.

[Warren]

l-hedoniste speaks the truth. Sex can only improve a good relationship, but it can destroy a bad one. Shantalla's opinion is largely a collection of cliches based on the track record of relationships that were doomed to fail from the start. Women are in large part the only people who think women are "easy" if they have sex "too soon". We guys don't think like that, unless we're ONLY after sex. Very few guys fit this description, and when they do you'll usually know in advance from their reputation. Guys, excluding self-righteous moral uprights, don't often judge a girl based solely on how long they resisted the temptation to have sex. Hell, more often than not we think a girl who refuses to have sex is just playing games, stringing us along, and/or trying to milk us for cash and gifts.

Oh, and this 'men are hunters so don't have sex with them for # months' stuff is just crap. If you like the guy and want to have sex with him, HAVE SEX WITH HIM! It's what you want to do. Don't fail to be yourself in an attempt to live up to the standards of someone else.

[RedRoan311]

Yes, having sex too early in a relationship can potentially ruin it. It really depends on the couple though. Don't get me wrong I've seen a few successful relationships where they had sex within the first two months of the relationship. Just the first few months of a relationship set the mood for the rest of your time together (which could turn into a very long time).

I've seen many relationships end because they had sex too early on. It's my idea that having sex early in a relationship means most of the relationship will be built upon sex. That's not a very stable foundation is it?

Just wait, and let good things happen in time. You should make him wait and earn your trust before jumping into sex. I personally think you should wait until you are sure you love him & he won't betray you shortly after having sex. Respect yourself & the relationship that you want. Hope this helped you at least a little :)

[jbattaglia]

look, if you feel the moment is right to have sex with him, why not? just know where you stand and let him know you like him and are looking for a potential. as long as you know what's going on, its ok. if he's a non judgmental good guy that you trust, there's nothing wrong if it feels right. it depends on the people involved. some women get used cause theyr with jerks but if you guys a re mature, it can't mess anything up. just don't focus on sex and have it in less than 2/3 weeks of knowing him. wait that much at least.

[shantalla69]

definetly yes.First thing you have to show him that you not easy, it is too soon...if you gonna wait for the right time, he will respect you for that. he will think of you as a girlfriend matterial, not just one nite stand or just a fling for good time. If you really like him then I suggest wait, first become friends and then lovers.good things come to them who wait and it is true.

Dont forget men are hunters and they don't like anything what comes easy, they like to chase and earn it.

[TexPlayboy]

It is sad to say, but yes. A guy develops feelings and emotions much slower than a woman does, and if he gets involved physically too soon, he may never allow those emotions to develop. The important thing is not to give up anything you might later regret, before you feel he is emotionally vested in the relationship in a way that is equal to your feelings and emotions.

There is another rule of thought... you never know how he will really treat you until after he has gotten what he wants. So giving it to him sooner might let you find out who he really is before you have fallen too far.

Good Luck

James

[anonclguy]

NO! People have had long lasting relationships that started from one night stands, drunken hook ups, all kinds of things like that. If a guy is so judgmental that you having sex with him "too soon" would mess up your relationship potential, then you're not going to have a good relationship with him anyway. It takes two people to have sex. If he's the type who just dates you till he gets to have sex with you and doesn't care about the relationship, then no amount of waiting is going to change things.

[Anonymous]

sorry, but yes. (most) guys love the chase. if they know they can have something they get bored of it. girls can also be like this.. I think you should definitely wait to be in an official relationship before having sex if you really like the person. otherwise I feel like you are just playing each other. sex is meant for love, obvi most people don't wait for true love for sex, we have one night stands.. but if you really care for someone you want the sex to be romantic and with love.. otherwise its just sex, just because you want sex...

[HaggardDiva]

I've had sex with almost all of the guys I've dated right away, and some before we really even started dating. The one I didn't was my first real boyfriend and the guy I lost my virginity to. He was actually the one that made us wait as long as we did. After that I dated a guy for a year and a half after I slept with him before dating at all. Then a few shorties in the middle, and the guy I'm currently with we actually started as just bed buddies, we were just sleeping with each other and slowly started dating, we've been together for a little over 4 years.

[regular-guy]

And it sounds like you have a stellar track record. Keep working that formula.

[stickal28]

Yes! It will! Make him wait! It's so much better if you just let him know that he's gotta get inside your head before your bed. It's so important and makes the sex so much better. But playing around otherwise is always fine. A nice long make out session is never out of the question. :-)

[regular-guy]

You had me right up until your last two sentences.

[Anonymous]

I have honestly learned that yes, it can. Sometimes it won't, but quite often guys like the thrill of the chase. And if you give it up too easily they will be ready to move on. Wait until you both know everything about each other and really like each other fully. Then you will know he won't just leave you.

[regular-guy]

Yes, you can definitely mess up a relationship by having sex too soon. Wait until you already have a great relationship and then you can introduce sex. If you do it backwards you can get things really confused, like you think you have a great relationship because you have great sex and feel emotionally attached because of the sex, but you really don't have that great of a relationship or are not right for each other but can't see it because the sex has clouded your judgment.

[Reeses-pieces777]

yeah, most definitely. it sucks to have such confusing emotions at the start or too early in the relationship because then you think, its only about sex. I do not go for fags like that, in general, I get to know the guy first and if he asks for it like on the first or second date, he is a fag and I do not ever talk to him again

[Secretgirl]

Yes, especially when you are not ready to take the next step into a relationship. You need to know where you both stand. If you’re questioning yourself then you’re not ready. If there is anything you remember from the comment is that expectations soon follow after sex and if the two of you aren’t on the same page, then… well, consider yourself warned.

[nikral]

it depends on how long you have been with the person. usually the longer you can hold off and the guy has no problem with it then you will have a great relationship and later go on to having sex with each other and have no problems. but if you sleep with soon one as soon as you meet them or within a short period of time then they could think of you as a sex object and treat you that way too, if that happens then I would think it destroyed the relationship...dont you?

[WakaJawaka]

in my opinion, people tend to misunderstand the role of sex early in a relationship.

the sex act itself doesn't ruin the relationship.

rather, sex tends to create a powerful emotional bond between partners (especially for women), and set tends to stir up emotions for people.

so if a relationship is new, you don't really know each other, etc, sex is more likely to add yet another complicating factor to an already fragile relationship.

[l-hedoniste]

No, BUT, if you're looking for a serious relationship, make sure he is too. Once that's settled, bombs away!

[lefthand]

No. If the relationship really was was there, he'll likely appreciate your willingness to be sexual with him. If the relationship wasn't there, it doesn't matter how long you wait, it will still end once you do have sex.

[Littletad]

It's best to wait, a man will usually think a woman is easy or will revert his efforts to having more sex rather than learning more about you. You don't really want that.

[coleyheart]

It sure would. The guy might not even like you or he could, but giving it up to easy could give him a reason to hit it and quit it. Adding to the fact, you'll get bored with it. Or at least he will.

[shadowlegend]

If you're unsure then the best thing to do is wait. Tell him about you concerns and maybe he feels the same way, then you can both decide when you feel ready.

[fluffyorlaboobs]

Of course not, sex helps relationships blossom like flowers in springtime. Ride him right now. We all need a bit of loving. And when I say sex I mean full on intercourse, none of this oral crap,

Ya gotta penetrate, or it's just a waste of time, energy and sperm. Worry about the herpes later.

[EarlofPuuding]

Yes, if he's a good guy he won't think of you as long term, he will assume you are in it for a fling and won't be too serious about the relationship.

[Warren]

Everyone wants sex, and everyone knows it. The assumption that having sex means you're ONLY after sex is a faulty one, and a source of major frustration in the battle of the sexes. People who are looking for relationships can most certainly have sex early in the relationship without destroying said relationship.

[EarlofPuuding]

I don't want sex, my body does but I don't, please don't overgeneralize... I can only speak from my pov and that of people around me. If a girl is willing to give me sex less than a month, its over. I am a guy and I hunt but I don't hunt for sex, I hunt for a partner.

[cjwright79]

If you don't want sex but your body does, well then you would do well to wait, I think.

[emzy-89]

sex should be something which comes with a committed stable relationship. if you do it too soon you are setting yourself for major pitfalls in the future.