Boyfriend takes me out, then throws it in my face?

[Anonymous]

So I am dating this guy for about 4 months now. We were together for a year and we broke up for 3 months. Now we are back on but taking things slow. We have recently had talks about money and how I had a financial goal of saving 10 grand by the end of the year. He ask me how far I was from it. I said about half way. Fast forward to today...He offered to pick me up some food and bring it to my place at which led into an argument about how he spends more on me (despite that I pay for every other date or so) and that he wanted to start saving money too...He said that he felt used even though I am not a gold digger. I have my own place, own car, I make little bit less than he does, and I am a recovering shopaholic that I have managed in the last year and a half to cut down my debt from 15,000 to 1,700. In other words I have done so much on my own without any handouts. I do know that he waste a lot of his money on eating out by himself. And it adds up. We go out about once a week. I even offer all the time to just chill at home and rent a movie and popcorn or go for a hike to spend time together and not spend a lot. In short I feel like he is envious and that if I have never told him about my finances this would have not been an issue. And I also feel like that he has had more than enough opportunities like me to have saved his money. What do I do? What are your thoughts? Honestly, I feel like I should just call this off...because it feels like a red flag. THANK YOU!

Updates

+1 y

and by the way the food that he went and picked up for me was two regular hamburgers from McDonald's.

[coolbreeze]

I think you should do what you think is right. You and him are just starting to know each other even though you been together for months you get to know a persons ways and the way they really are. You don't sound like a gold digger. That is good that you have your own place and a car. You sound determine and motivated. He shouldn't be bringing money things up. Real men don't mention things like that around girls. If it was a problem that he feels he spend to much money on you then he shouldn't be doing it if he is forcing himself to spend money. I think one mistake you made was telling him how much money you had saved and that you had a goal of saving 10,000 towards the end of the year. I think that made him jealous and he started calculating. I would say only tell guys about your finances if you guys are going to be serious or even get married. If he has had opportunies to save money then he has to work on that on his own and it's not your fault and problem that he eats out lot and spends to much on that. Everybdy knows it's cheaper to buy from the supermarket then go out to eat every time. If he is blaming his over spending habits on you then he is in self denial. I'm glad you cut your debt down and are trying to chance. Chance is hard and is never easy. I feel in order ofr the relationship to work then he needs to chill on how much money he spends on you. And if yo upay for every other date then he really has no valid reason to make a big deal out of it. He can use coupons to when he eat out at restaurannts. They have 5 dollar and 10 dollar off coupons for many places to eat. He needs to cut back on his over spending. That is the problem.

[coolbreeze]

He made a big deal about getting you two hamburgers? Unbelievable. I at least would buy a girl her own value meal and anything else she liked. He shouldn't be making a big deal out of fast food.

[coolbreeze]

Thank you very much for selecting my answer as the best answer.

[lostangle911]

it is always good for lady to put some money aside because guys are usuallay tend to waste their money. about hss beaving like that you seem to be a smart girl and just go on like that if he doesn't understand you then kick him out of your life. he is not for you...

[MissConfused93]

I agree with you, it's a little off. Once a week is nothing, but you should offer to pay sometimes. My boyfriend is similar, he goes out of his way to pay for everything then whines about how he saves less money than me, meanwhile he's constantly making major un necessary purchases and buying lunch like your boyfriend.

Try to reason with him, and if nothing comes out of it then either accept that he's stingy with his money or break up with him over it. Nothing else you can do really. And congrats on getting close to paying off your debt!

[latebloomer87]

Well honey it's 2012. Look around. It's the Euro crisis. Barclay's inside trading. Housing bubble. I don't blame anyone who's feeling a bit strap for cash.

[Asker]

Trust me I completely understand-but if that was the case, he shouldn't be spending $100 a week on his lunches and then complains that he feels used when he picks me up two 79 cent hamburgers from McDonalds (and he offered to pick me up/pay for food). I was just hurt and confused by this when he is wasteful with a lot of his money on himself and when he offers a small jesture, he says he feels used after I accept? I don't know where this is coming from...It seems like a stretch

[Anonymous]

Well he may just be trying too hard to impress you...