Girls: what would you think if your boyfriend got beat up by another guy?

[valentin87]

imagine you go out on a date and a guy starts grabbing your ass. your boyfriend tries to defend you, but gets totally dominated and beat up by that guy. how would you feel?

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+1 y

ladies, please be honest! don't say you'd love him even more if you wouldn't.

[imtheguy514]

First off let me say this. I am military trained and boxed for 8 years I know how to hold my own. But in any situation you have to learn to Pick your battles, it does not matter how big a guy is to you. You got to pick them carefully life never happens the way you expect it too.



Now that being said. In that situation you have to understand what he did is what he thought he was supposed to do. What usually works is talking. Not talking sh*t but talking. Words is the most powerful weapon and if that don't work... Kick him in the balls and run lol. sorry had to say that. Fighting only brings on more problems. But I will say he may have lost the fight but he gained respect from every single female he knows. Most guys would not stand up for there girl. They all say they would but all they would do is say like "YO You WANNA F***ING START?" stuff like that. you can tell he really cares for you and what I would do if I was a female would stick by him because he probably knew he was going to loose but did it without thinking its all reaction.. Keep on to him most guys won't toss down when needed..

[Remulac]

Dude,

I think we're dealing with a "Mars/Venus" thing here. Many of us guys have convinced ourselves that getting our butts kicked in front of your girlfriends and/or other girls would be the end of the world and the end of our manhood. Judging by my own experience and by these answers, most girls/women just don't see it that way. Lucky for us, they are much more forgiving and much more interested in helping us feel better after something like that. They're not out to emasculate us. They like us.

There are SOME very few chicks out there that are shallow enough to dump a guy if he gets beat up. However, even those girls usually do things like that in casual relationships. When it comes to girls who are really in love with a guy, I would bet that the likelihood that she'd leave him because he got beaten up in front of her (and yes, even by a smaller guy) is virtually non-existent. If she lost respect for him, it probably wouldn't be for long.

Give the ladies some credit. They're not a bunch of water buffalo waiting for the alpha buck to mate with them. Am I right, ladies?

[valentin87]

"Judging by my own experience" did you get beat up in front of your girlfriend? what exactly happened? was it an unfair fight? did your girlfriend talk to you about this "incident"?

[Remulac]

Before I tell you anything about me, tell me why you're so anxious about this. Did you get beaten up in front of YOUR girlfriend? Did you ALMOST get beaten up in front of her? I used to have similar anxiety, too. Why are you so worried about this?

Look, girls want to be protected, but they don't expect you to be superman (at least not in America). They'll lose respect for you if you're a spinless coward, but most won't just because you lost a fight. I've seen friends go throught it.

[Remulac]

Oh, and GET OVER the need to get the other guy back. Girls WILL think of you as a loser when you start acting like that. Most of them are turned off by fights in general, and they don't want to be forced to see another one. Let it go if it happens to you. If not, you give the other guy more power. I know it's frustrating, but just accept the comfort and sweetness your girlfriend offers you and move on. If you HAVE to get the guy back, do NOT do it in front of your girlfriend.

[Remulac]

Also, if your girlfriend is as supportive as most girls are about this sort of thing, it sounds like losing a fight in front of her could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

However, if you feel like she would down you or dump you over it, dump her. There are too many sweethearts out there. Don't settle for a cold-hearted woman like that.

[valentin87]

I get your point. luckily I never got beat up by someone. I doubt it will ever happen, but if it happened in front of my girl I'd feel like sh*t. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can NOT change my feelings. I keep telling myself "what would my girl think of me if that happened?" usually guys want to protect their girls, but if they aren't even able to protect themselves how are they supposed to protect their girls? you know what I mean?

[valentin87]

Of course your girl would never break up with you if you got beat up. she might calm you down and say that she doesn't care, but deep down in her heart she changes her opinion on you (a little bit). it's not her fault, it's just in her "nature".

"Oh, and GET OVER the need to get the other guy back. Girls WILL think of you as a loser when you start acting like that." I don't care what she thinks of me then. if I got beat up, I'd take revenge to clean my soul. my ego is important to me, you know?!

[Remulac]

I don't know what to tell you. Are all these women lying to you? Nobody is getting through to you. Like I said, maybe getting pounded in front of your girlfriend would be a good learning experience for you. In the meantime, you will obviously continue to put pressure on yourself that makes it more likely that you'll get into an needless fight that you may indeed lose in front of God knows who.

Good luck.

[Oreo3]

well my boyfriend can't fight (I told him) and its a shame cuase I'm about 5' 1 and he's 5'7 and he hid from this kid cause he made out with that kids girlfriend like 2 years ago. if he almost got beat up I would have kickd that kids ass. but I couldn't imagine him get into a fight cause he's everyone's best friend.

[valentin87]

So you don't feel protected when you're with your boyfriend, hmm? how is that feeling?

[Oreo3]

It doesn't matter to me. but we don't have people that hate us. except this one bitch who wanted him and I got to him first because he loves me, but I rather not be mean and just "secretly" hate her, but its all cool

[the-love-guru]

I'll understand that he's most likely embarrassed , and tend to his ego. Let him know that I appreciate him trying to "protect" his lady. It's instinctual for them. At some point, I might make a little joke about it, but then give him some extra loving to let him know it's okay.

[TheDigitalSaint]

I would advise against the joke and just stick with the "thank you". Men don't like losing and joking about it won't help IMO.

[the-love-guru]

True, but I wouldn't say it if I knew he wouldn't respond well to the comment. It would be there to lift his spirits. It's like when I tripped going into a house, and my boyfriend said "Careful, Miss grace." But not everyone can handle that, I understand.

[valentin87]

So you study psychology? hahaha.....

i have to admit it wouldn't matter to me if my girlfriend made fun of me because of that. I would laugh at myself too, then I would force her to watch me beating the "bad guy" up. if I lost the second fight again, what would she think of me then? I bet she would leave me. not because I lost again, but because of my ridiculous "taking-revenge-behaviour", right?

[the-love-guru]

Why did you laugh when talking about me studying psych? :( Do you think I'm incompetent? Yes, I think if you attempted a round two with the guy, the woman would see a mean/ violent streak in you. Not a good idea. I'd much rather see my boyfriend verbally beat a man. A sharp wit and extensive vocabulary is much sexier than a guy who happens to throw a mean right hook. I can throw a punch, I just need my guy to give the perv a good tongue lashing.

[valentin87]

It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I didn't know you were this sensitive!

since I don't know you, I can only judge you by what you say. my advice is not to take every little thing to heart, especially when you want to become a psychologist. I laughed because your future boyfriend seems to be a relaxed person. you don't even know him/his personality, but you already are able to empathize with him. maybe he is as sensitive as you! then he definitely wouldn't like you joking about him!

[valentin87]

Don’t get me wrong, your idea isn’t bad. like I said before, I wouldn’t mind if you joked about me because of that. i’d even feel better. if you joke about it, it shows you don’t really care about that unimportant fight.

"A sharp wit and extensive vocabulary is much sexier" of course intelligence is much more important (and sexier), but I also try to be physically strong, cause I want to protect my girl from everything. it sounds naive and stupid, but i’m overprotective.

[valentin87]

Imagine your boy is very sophisticated, but weak as f***. you walk down a dark street and suddenly a thug joins. he beats up your boyfriend, completely dominates him, then rapes you. the worst thing: your boyfriend can’t do anything about it! the story isn’t unrealistic. it happened 3 years ago (in germany). this must be the most humiliating thing that could ever happen to a couple, don’t you think? sometimes you are forced to fight, no matter how extensive your vocabulary is.

[the-love-guru]

Oh, I'm not THAT sensitive. I wasn't hurt by your comment, just confused as to what you were getting at . :) Yes, I even empathize with people I haven't met yet. It's a blessing and a curse. I agree, physical strenth IS important. Your average guy should have the basic strength to hold his own (I hope). Since I am strong for a female, he would have to be on the stronger side as well. My ex was a wuss, and that drove me crazy. And I understand that fights aren't always avoidable.

[valentin87]

Yeah, you're a strong girl! I bet you could beat me up ;)

[the-love-guru]

I prefer not to beat boys up...apparently it hurts their ego. ;)

[Remulac]

You've got it, Love-Guru. If your boyfriend ever gets his butt kicked in front of you, he'll be in good hands.

[smokeandmirrors]

Aww...I would just love him all the more for trying to defend me. Him losing the fight wouldn't bother me, because there's always someone bigger and stronger out there. He'd get an "A" for effort, as they say.

[valentin87]

Yeah, but girls want to feel protected! they need a protector. you might love him more, but you possibly think of him as a cute weakling. you might think: "the man I love is a sissy!" I don't think your boyfriend would be happy with that.

[smokeandmirrors]

I would probably only think he was a "sissy" if he lost to someone obviously weaker and smaller. Like I said, there's always someone bigger and stronger. You can't expect to win every fight. I'd hope he would accept the loss and move on, but I do realize that's hard for a guy to do.

[valentin87]

You know that there are lot of small boys out there that are able to knock out the big dudes. especially the little mean asian ones :) they have a great fighting technique and I guess most of them could dominate bigger american guys. I think it's mean to think he's weak just cause he lost a fight to a smaller guy.

your boy loves to dominate in bed. would you still let him dominate you after his loss? and would it stll turn you on? or wouldn't you be able to enjoy it due to his "weakness"?

[smokeandmirrors]

What I meant by the whole "weaker and smaller" comment was that it would be a bit embarrassing if he lost to someone that he should have been able to take. You're right that there are a lot of little guys who could take anybody out, no matter what size they are. I'd get over it anyway...I don't date guys based on their fighting ability. And him losing the fight would have nothing to do with what goes on in the bedroom. :)

[valentin87]

"I don't date guys based on their fighting ability." LMAO! this is the greatest quote ever. epic!

[smokeandmirrors]

Haha it's true!

[Anonymous]

I'll love him forever! It shows he's not afraid of bigger guys even though he might "lose" the fight. He's willing to get beaten up in my honor and well, it'll just make me love him more.

[valentin87]

"he's not afraid of bigger guys"

and if your boyfriend was the bigger guy that lost to the smaller guy, how would you feel then?

[Opinion Owner]

I'd feel the same way. I'm being honest! What matters is that he defended my honor and well, chivalry is mostly dead, so when it happens, it makes me feel special.

[BBGyrl]

I would happy to know that my guy stood up for me, that means a lot. And I would do whatever I could to not make him feel like less than a guy just because he it didn't turn out how he might have wanted it to.

[Truthisoutthere]

This actually did happen to me. I was beat up pretty one-sidedly and dominated in front of my wife. It felt incredibly humiliating! Afterwards she was consoling me etc and telling me how she's just glad I'm okay, but I still can't help but wonder if what happened has changed her opinion of me in anyway

[marriedguy1982]

How long ago? Has your ego recovered? I went through this last week and it has not gotten back to normal.

[Truthisoutthere]

@marriedguy1982 Only a month ago for me, so I guess maybe not enough time for the ego to recover. I think it's definitely going to take some time for me

[marriedguy1982]

Same here. I do not feel normal at all. And it has been kind of weird since.

[Truthisoutthere]

Yeah it feels a little different since. Ours was a home break in, so I guess the shock could still be affecting her. Obviously can't help but think it might be because I couldn't "protect" her

[marriedguy1982]

Mine was at a restaurant the week before Christmas in Florida and same deal, it wasn't a very competitive fight, the dude pretty much dominated me and eventually stopped cause a restaurant guy came out.

[marriedguy1982]

@Truthisoutthere wow, sorry to hear about the break-in. That is a shock to get over.

[marriedguy1982]

@Truthisoutthere brett_deyo@yahoo. com, I would definitely like to talk to you more. Seems like we are in a similar situation here.

[Shlei3]

I would appreciate his effort and let him know that I respect him even more.

[valentin87]

First of all: sorry for my sh*tty english. I'm german, so don't blame me ;)

would you really respect him even more? I mean... he just got his ass kicked in front of you! some girls are attracted to alpha males. maybe they would lose interest in him.

if I got my ass beat in front of my girl, I'd feel so embarrassed!!!!! I'd definitely take revenge on him and beat him up to feed my ego. I'd make sure my girlfriend takes notice of me beating him up.

is that childish?

[Shlei3]

Yes it is childish. Fighting over a reason like this is stupid. I would rather my boyfriend not fight at all. Stop expecting us girlfriend to lose respect and leave the guy. Fighters are weak people unless it's for a good cause such as; fighting for your life, defending yourself...etc. Fighting over a girl is just stupid.

[valentin87]

Well, I wouldn't fight for my girl, I'd fight to strengthen my ego. I would feel like sh*t if I lost. I know it sounds stupid, but I wouldn't let "the bad guy" get away with this, no matter how strong he is. most girls don't understand this, cause they are too mature :)

btw, if you were a boy, you'd also fight to defend your girl. I'm absolutely sure.

[Shlei3]

Oh please, that's as stupid as fighting for your guy (with another girl). I have better things to do than to resort to this crap.

[valentin87]

My ego is much more important than what a girl thinks about me. if I feel like sh*t, I need to change it. if that means I need to be immature and fight, then I'll do it.

your arrogance is making me laugh.

[Shlei3]

Your immaturity is making me laugh

[marriedguy1982]

Agreed on the ego effects.

[Simple-Simonette]

I would feel like it were my fault, and feel terrible that he got hurt over something so silly.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm. Iwould tell him thanks for trying to back me up but I can handle my ownself and then make him fel better

[valentin87]

How can you handle your ownself when a physically stronger (and violent) person harasses you? of course you need help from your boyfriend!

[marriedguy1982]

@valentin87 you are 100 percent correct about being the protectors.